New Service at WalMart

Discussion in 'Humor' started by manu1959, Jul 21, 2005.

  1. manu1959
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    manu1959 Left Coast Isolationist

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    One day in line at the company cafeteria, Ron says to
    John behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I
    better see a doctor."

    Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money",
    John replies. There's a diagnostic computer down at
    Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer
    will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It
    takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars, a lot cheaper
    than a doctor."

    So Ron deposits a urine sample in a small jar and
    takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars and the
    computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He
    pours the sample into the slot and waits.

    Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
    "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water
    and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two
    weeks." Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.

    That evening while thinking how amazing this new
    technology was, Ron began wondering if the computer
    could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool
    sample from his dog, urine samples
    from his wife and daughter, and his sperm sample for
    good measure.

    Ron hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the
    results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his
    concoction, and awaits the results. The computer
    prints the following:

    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
    (Aisle 9)

    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal
    shampoo. (Aisle 7)

    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into
    rehab.

    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours!
    Get a lawyer!

    5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow
    will never get better. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.
     
  2. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    Moved to 'humour' :)

    :rock:
     

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