New Retirement Plan

Discussion in 'Humor' started by SFC Ollie, Aug 9, 2011.

  1. SFC Ollie
    Offline

    SFC Ollie Still Marching

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    28,742
    Thanks Received:
    4,418
    Trophy Points:
    183
    Location:
    Extreme East Ohio
    Ratings:
    +4,458
    Think about this!

    If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have only $49.00 today!

    If you purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG, you would only have $33.00 today.

    If you purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers, you would have $0.00 today.

    BUT, if you purchased $1,000 worth of beer, drank all the beer, turned in the aluminum cans for recycling, you would have $214.00

    Therefore the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.

    It is called the 401-Keg Plan!
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 3
  2. RadiomanATL
    Offline

    RadiomanATL Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2009
    Messages:
    24,944
    Thanks Received:
    3,823
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Not here
    Ratings:
    +3,836

    I have been on this plan for years :thup:
     
  3. SFC Ollie
    Offline

    SFC Ollie Still Marching

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    28,742
    Thanks Received:
    4,418
    Trophy Points:
    183
    Location:
    Extreme East Ohio
    Ratings:
    +4,458
    The bad news is they will start taxing it at 35% starting 1 January 2013.............
     
  4. RadiomanATL
    Offline

    RadiomanATL Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2009
    Messages:
    24,944
    Thanks Received:
    3,823
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Not here
    Ratings:
    +3,836
    NNNNOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo..............
     
  5. SFC Ollie
    Offline

    SFC Ollie Still Marching

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    28,742
    Thanks Received:
    4,418
    Trophy Points:
    183
    Location:
    Extreme East Ohio
    Ratings:
    +4,458
    This sort of fits in here. It's an oldie but still a goodie...................








    WAL-MART SENIOR GREETER

    You just have to appreciate this one. Young people forget that old people often have had a career before they retired ......
    [​IMG]

    Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time.
    Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.
    One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.
    "Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job when you finally get here; but your being late so often is quite bothersome."
    "Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
    "Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear."
    "Yes sir, I understand your concern and I'll try harder."
    Seeming puzzled, the manager went on to comment, "It's odd though your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say to you there if you showed up in the morning so late and so often?"
    The old man looked down at the floor, then smiled.
    He chuckled quietly, then said with a grin,
    "They usually saluted and said, 'Good morning, Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir?'"

    [​IMG]
     

Share This Page

Search tags for this page

walmart greeter

,

walmart greeter vest costumes