New Religion

[Grace]

YOU are the rule/commandment maker and you are instantly awarded 4 million mindless followers. Now, inform us what your doctrines are. Make it short if you can. Say.....20 "commandments".

This should be interesting. I hope.

 

[LumpyPostage]

Rule #1: Don't follow me.

 

[xsited1]

YOU are the rule/commandment maker and you are instantly awarded 4 million mindless followers. Now, inform us what your doctrines are. Make it short if you can. Say.....20 "commandments".

This should be interesting. I hope.

This has worked well with mindless followers for decades:

DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL PLATFORM

 

[Wiseacre]

The golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

That's about it, don't really need the other 19.

 

[tigerbob]

Rule #1: Don't follow me.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVygqjyS4CA]YouTube - Monty Python - Life of Brian - Your're all different[/ame]

 

[Two Thumbs]

YOU are the rule/commandment maker and you are instantly awarded 4 million mindless followers. Now, inform us what your doctrines are. Make it short if you can. Say.....20 "commandments".

This should be interesting. I hope.

Rule #1!; I rule.
Rule #2; Kill everyone that disagrees with rule #1
#3; All the hot chicks must be naked at all times and learn to dance like Shakira
#4; Fat chicks wear burquas
#5; All dudes wear burquas
#6; Bacon goes good on anything
#7; Ice cream will be declared a health food with it's own Holiday
#8; I get daily full body massages by the women that qualify for #3
#9; Destroy the vast array of media and get back to basics. Except for online porn with #3's
#10; It's still Bros before Hos, unless it's me and some #3's
#11; did I mention killing yet?
#12; No saurcroute or broccoli
#13; I'm out of funny ideas
#14; Still got nuthin
#15; I really really like rule #3.

 

[LumpyPostage]

YouTube - Monty Python - Life of Brian - Your're all different

I prefer just before this when Graham Chapman and Sue Jones-Davies show is what God gave them.

 

[High_Gravity]

YOU are the rule/commandment maker and you are instantly awarded 4 million mindless followers. Now, inform us what your doctrines are. Make it short if you can. Say.....20 "commandments".

This should be interesting. I hope.

Rule #1!; I rule.
Rule #2; Kill everyone that disagrees with rule #1
#3; All the hot chicks must be naked at all times and learn to dance like Shakira
#4; Fat chicks wear burquas
#5; All dudes wear burquas
#6; Bacon goes good on anything
#7; Ice cream will be declared a health food with it's own Holiday
#8; I get daily full body massages by the women that qualify for #3
#9; Destroy the vast array of media and get back to basics. Except for online porn with #3's
#10; It's still Bros before Hos, unless it's me and some #3's
#11; did I mention killing yet?
#12; No saurcroute or broccoli
#13; I'm out of funny ideas
#14; Still got nuthin
#15; I really really like rule #3.

I co sign with Two Thumbs list.

 

[Two Thumbs]

YOU are the rule/commandment maker and you are instantly awarded 4 million mindless followers. Now, inform us what your doctrines are. Make it short if you can. Say.....20 "commandments".

This should be interesting. I hope.

Rule #1!; I rule.
Rule #2; Kill everyone that disagrees with rule #1
#3; All the hot chicks must be naked at all times and learn to dance like Shakira
#4; Fat chicks wear burquas
#5; All dudes wear burquas
#6; Bacon goes good on anything
#7; Ice cream will be declared a health food with it's own Holiday
#8; I get daily full body massages by the women that qualify for #3
#9; Destroy the vast array of media and get back to basics. Except for online porn with #3's
#10; It's still Bros before Hos, unless it's me and some #3's
#11; did I mention killing yet?
#12; No saurcroute or broccoli
#13; I'm out of funny ideas
#14; Still got nuthin
#15; I really really like rule #3.

I co sign with Two Thumbs list.

I Deam you to be the HMFIC of the eternal party! Your Staff of Office will be a pull tab of your favorite brew. Your office, will of course be staffed with #3's. And a couple #4's to make sure some work gets done.

 

[High_Gravity]

Rule #1!; I rule.
Rule #2; Kill everyone that disagrees with rule #1
#3; All the hot chicks must be naked at all times and learn to dance like Shakira
#4; Fat chicks wear burquas
#5; All dudes wear burquas
#6; Bacon goes good on anything
#7; Ice cream will be declared a health food with it's own Holiday
#8; I get daily full body massages by the women that qualify for #3
#9; Destroy the vast array of media and get back to basics. Except for online porn with #3's
#10; It's still Bros before Hos, unless it's me and some #3's
#11; did I mention killing yet?
#12; No saurcroute or broccoli
#13; I'm out of funny ideas
#14; Still got nuthin
#15; I really really like rule #3.

I co sign with Two Thumbs list.

I Deam you to be the HMFIC of the eternal party! Your Staff of Office will be a pull tab of your favorite brew. Your office, will of course be staffed with #3's. And a couple #4's to make sure some work gets done.

I accept this job offer.

 

[tigerbob]

YouTube - Monty Python - Life of Brian - Your're all different

I prefer just before this when Graham Chapman and Sue Jones-Davies show is what God gave them.

You mean the 'burning bush" scene?

 

[Anachronism]

In my case it would be a monotheistic religion, based on a Patriarchal model with appropriate roles laid out for both men and women. Personal health and growth... physical, mental, intellectual, and spiritual would be at the core of the theology. It would NOT be a prosthelitizing religion, but rather one that basically keeps to itself and allows people to come and find it, not the other way around. The spiritual community would interact with the rest of the world, but be somewhat separated from it as well.

 

[AquaAthena]

1) Develop a profound belief in the universal law of cause and effect---the empowering conviction that we all ultimately direct our own lives.

2) Hate is a cancer upon the soul. Instead of putting other's in their place, put yourself in their's.

3) Your destiny is ultimately a matter of choice, not chance.

4) Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

5) Learn to say, "no."

 

[The T]

Sorry. I won't do it. The ones that are pertinent have been posted for a few thousand years now...and we are still fighting over them...

You are principled, or you aren't.

 

[LumpyPostage]

In my case it would be a monotheistic religion, based on a Patriarchal model with appropriate roles laid out for both men and women. Personal health and growth... physical, mental, intellectual, and spiritual would be at the core of the theology. It would NOT be a prosthelitizing religion, but rather one that basically keeps to itself and allows people to come and find it, not the other way around. The spiritual community would interact with the rest of the world, but be somewhat separated from it as well.

You could call it Judaism.

 

[uscitizen]

YOU are the rule/commandment maker and you are instantly awarded 4 million mindless followers. Now, inform us what your doctrines are. Make it short if you can. Say.....20 "commandments".

This should be interesting. I hope.

Not another Palin thread Grace, Please.

 

[Intense]

YOU are the rule/commandment maker and you are instantly awarded 4 million mindless followers. Now, inform us what your doctrines are. Make it short if you can. Say.....20 "commandments".

This should be interesting. I hope.

Love God with All of the Strength of your being.
Love the Life of all humanity, each Soul, including your own, with all the strength of your being.
Conscience first in all things, thought, word, and action.
Be Fruitful, Multiply, Replenish the Earth.
Bear Witness and tell the truth about what you see.
Value for Value, there are no free rides, somebody always pays.
If you break it you own it.
Live within your means.
Send donations and gifts to the "Intense Widows and Orphan Fund" located in the Cayman Islands.

 

[boedicca]

4 Million Mindless Followers?

I would make one commandment: Disbandment of the religion with an order that they learn to think for themselves.

 

[Vargulf]

Commandment#1: There is no invisible bearded man in the sky occasionally granting wishes (prayers), so stop believing in the supernatural.
Commandment#2: Immerse yourselves in science and mathematics.
Commandment#3: It's impossible to like everyone, but really try.
Commandment#4: If you steal merchandise from people or companies, you lose an appendage and will keep losing appendages every time you steal.
Commandment#5: If you murder someone, you'll be burned alive (slowly).
Commandment#6: Women are not property/merchandise. They are not to be subjugated or ruled by men in any way, unless the women wish to be sheepish and let men rule them.
Commandment#7: Friday and Saturday are the official party days if you are 18 or older.
Commandment#8: Send all religious zealots packing for other nations.
Commandment#9: Cannabis is legal, as is peyote. Their use while occupying machinery is illegal.
Commandment#10: Have as many spouses/life partners as you wish, as long as all are consenting adults and agreeable to it.