New Ann Coulter:The Jesus Thing

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by rtwngAvngr, Jan 13, 2004.

  1. rtwngAvngr
    Offline

    rtwngAvngr Guest

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2004
    Messages:
    15,755
    Thanks Received:
    511
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +511
    http://www.anncoulter.com/columns/2004/010704p.htm

    This column is hilarious and just brimming with truth!! Enjoy all!

    The Jesus Thing
    January 7, 2004
    ANN Coulter



    WHEN THEY were fund-raising, the Democratic candidates for president all claimed to be Jewish. Now that they are headed for Super Tuesday down South, they've become Jesus freaks. Listening to Democrats talk about Jesus is a little like listening to them on national security: They don't seem terribly comfortable with either subject.



    To ease Democrats into the Jesus thing, the Democratic Leadership Council is holding briefings for Democratic candidates teaching them how to talk about religion. The participants were warned that millions of Americans worship a supreme being whose name is not Bill Clinton. As has been widely reported, the DLC gingerly suggests that Democrats start referring to "God's green earth."



    Democrats never talk about believing in something; they talk about simulating belief in something. Americans believe in this crazy God crap that we don't, so how do we hoodwink them into believing we believe in God? It's part of the casual contempt Democrats have for the views of normal people.

    What is arresting is the Democrats' fantastic habit of openly talking about how they plan to fake out the American people. The Democrats candidly say: How do we make sure the Americans don't know what we're really thinking? Let's get a Southerner, let's talk about Jesus, let's talk about NASCAR -- white Southern guys seem to like that. Let's see ... If we could get a general on the ticket, Americans will forget how much we hate the military and long to see America humiliated.



    Never has a major political party talked so openly about their plans to fool the voters. It's the damnedest thing I've ever seen. They seem not to realize the people they are talking about are listening and might not be fooled.



    In the current New Republic magazine, Peter Beinart points out that the capture of Saddam has hurt the anti-war cause and left the Democrats with nothing to say. He proposes that Democrats pretend to support the war on terrorism by calling for a massive campaign to catch Osama. Yeah, let's try that. That'll fool 'em.



    In the debate this week, John Kerry responded to a question about how he would appeal to Southerners by saying he could put a Southerner on his ticket. As Howard Dean has explained, they're stupid enough: It's just a bunch of white guys in pickup trucks with Confederate flags.



    Dean himself has recently made the fascinating discovery that a lot of Americans believe in God. Hold the phones -- the Democrats have a soothsayer in their midst! Next, Dean will be announcing that he's just discovered how important this sex thing is.



    Before the poll numbers came out on religious belief in America, Dean said: "We have got to stop having our elections in the South based on race, guns, God and gays." Higher taxes, gay marriage, abortion on demand and surrender in Iraq -– that'll do the trick in Mississippi!



    Then about a month ago, the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press released a poll showing that people who regularly attend religious services supported Bush 63 percent to 37 percent, and those who never attend religious services opposed him 62 percent to 38 percent. When you exclude blacks (as they do in Vermont), who are overwhelmingly Baptist and overwhelmingly Democratic, and rerun the numbers, basically any white person who believes in God is a Republican.



    The only Democrats who go to church regularly are the ones who plan to run for president someday and are preparing in advance to fake a belief in God.



    Though Dean is pursuing the Jesus thing with a vengeance, the results so far have been mixed. In Iowa last week, Dean said, "Let's get into a little religion here," and then began denouncing Christian minister Jerry Falwell. "Don't you think Jerry Falwell reminds you a lot more of the Pharisees than he does of the teachings of Jesus?" I don't even know what Dean means by that. I am sure his audience doesn't.



    Rapping with reporters about God on the campaign plane, Dean said, "(I)f you know much about the Bible, which I do" -- and then proceeded to confuse the Old Testament with the New Testament.



    Dean illiterately claimed his favorite book of the New Testament was the Book of Job. (He said his least favorite was the Book of Numbers and then explained how he planned to balance the budget.) Having already complained to DNC chairman Terry McAuliffe about other Democrats attacking him, Dean recently said: "I'm feeling a little more Job-like recently." That's comforting. A few snippy remarks from the likes of Dick Gephardt and Dean thinks it's the wrath of the God of Abraham. Yeah, that's definitely the guy we want leading the nation in perilous times.



    Dean's epiphanic religious awakening occurred over a bike path –- and that's his version of what happened. He was baptized Catholic and raised an Episcopalian, but left the Episcopal Church in a huff when he finally found his true religion: environmentally friendly exercise.



    The Episcopals don't demand much in the way of actual religious belief. They have girl priests, gay priests, gay bishops, gay marriages -- it's much like The New York Times editorial board. They acknowledge the Ten Commandments -- or "Moses' talking points" -- but hasten to add that they're not exactly "carved in stone." After Bush said that the most important philosopher to him was Jesus Christ, the Episcopal bishop in Des Moines, Iowa, C. Christopher Epting, pronounced the answer "a turnoff." So there isn't a lot of hair-shirt-wearing and sacrifice for the Episcopalians.



    But the bike path incident was too much for Dean. A key tenet of the Druidical religion of liberals is non-fossil fuel travel. So Dean left the Church of the Proper Fork because the Episcopal Church in Montpelier hesitated before ceding some of its land for a bike path.



    On CNN, Judy Woodruff asked in amazement, "Was it just over a bike path that you left the Episcopal Church?"



    Dean: "Yes, as a matter of fact it was."



    Dean waxed expansive on the theological implications of bike paths, saying: "I didn't think that was very public-spirited."



    But recently, Dean has leapt even beyond the DLC-recommended "God's green earth" and begun talking about Jesus, saying, "He was a person who set an extraordinary example that has lasted 2,000 years, which is pretty inspiring when you think about it." Gosh, Jesus is giving Oprah a run for her money. Also, Christ died for our sins, but let's not get into the hocus-pocus part of Christianity. The gist of the New Testament is about bike paths.



    Dean's relationship with Jesus is a little like David Lloyd George's relationship with the Slovaks. At the Treaty of Versailles conference, the British prime minister was heard to whisper: "Who are the Slovaks again? I can never place them."

     
  2. jimnyc
    Offline

    jimnyc ...

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2003
    Messages:
    10,113
    Thanks Received:
    244
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Location:
    New York
    Ratings:
    +246
    :laugh:
     
  3. rtwngAvngr
    Offline

    rtwngAvngr Guest

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2004
    Messages:
    15,755
    Thanks Received:
    511
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +511
    I can testify to what she was saying about Episcopalians. And she used the word "epiphanic".
     
  4. acludem
    Offline

    acludem VIP Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2003
    Messages:
    1,500
    Thanks Received:
    49
    Trophy Points:
    71
    Location:
    Missouri
    Ratings:
    +69
    What a crock of crap! Bush hardly went to church until he ran for president, then all of a sudden he was a religious fanatic (an absolute requirement for a successful Republican candidate). I know people who have left their churches over small matters. Just because you leave a church, doesn't mean you leave your faith. Ann Coulter's definition of what "religious people" are those who agree with her specific brand of religion.

    Another ridiculous statement: "Basically any white person who goes to church is a Republican" except that according to her survey (from the Pew Research Center, not exactly an objective source) says that 37% respondents who are white and go to church did NOT vote for Bush.

    Her whole diatribe about appealing to southern voters is interesting also...John Edwards is a lifelong resident of North Carolina which last time I checked was a southern state. Bill Clinton and Al Gore are from Arkansas and Tennessee, once again last time I checked those states are in the South. Dick Gephardt is from Missouri (my home state) which has a strong southern streak. Bush is a rich kid from Massachussetts who moved to Texas late in life, not exactly your typical southerner. Ann Coulter also needs a lesson in basic American political history...most tickets have been balanced with north and south, especially recently. Carter/Mondale....Gore/Lieberman....Nixon/Agnew....Lincoln/Johnson....etc.

    This article accomplishes the right-wing trifecta...it's stupid, it's full of lies, and it has no point.
     
  5. rtwngAvngr
    Offline

    rtwngAvngr Guest

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2004
    Messages:
    15,755
    Thanks Received:
    511
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +511
    truth upside the head:

    Democrats never talk about believing in something; they talk about simulating belief in something. Americans believe in this crazy God crap that we don't, so how do we hoodwink them into believing we believe in God? It's part of the casual contempt Democrats have for the views of normal people.



     
  6. acludem
    Offline

    acludem VIP Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2003
    Messages:
    1,500
    Thanks Received:
    49
    Trophy Points:
    71
    Location:
    Missouri
    Ratings:
    +69
    Joe Lieberman is an orthodox Jew...oh yeah...Ann Coulter thinks Jews don't believe in God.

    Democrats respect the beliefs of normal people, Republicans seek to eradicate them.
     
  7. rtwngAvngr
    Offline

    rtwngAvngr Guest

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2004
    Messages:
    15,755
    Thanks Received:
    511
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +511
    Secular humanists leftists generally eschew religion and consider it, for all practical purposes, something that educated people just don't take all that seriously. A bike path? that was a serious theological difference, I understand now when you explain it that way.

    Right. I think you got the point.
    I don't think she meant john edwards. I think she was referring more to the front runners who are not from the south, don't you? But crafty intentional miscomprehension. You're a master.
    oh are they running for something? I hadn't heard.
    :D

    Sadly, wrong again. :cof:
     
  8. rtwngAvngr
    Offline

    rtwngAvngr Guest

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2004
    Messages:
    15,755
    Thanks Received:
    511
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +511
    I guess the main point of the article is the hilarity of the ineptitude of Democrats attempting to pander to religious citizenry. It's funny. That's all. Ann brings us hilarity and fun!
     
  9. rtwngAvngr
    Offline

    rtwngAvngr Guest

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2004
    Messages:
    15,755
    Thanks Received:
    511
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +511
    No you don't. you seek to eradicate any public expression of christianity on behalf of some invented notion about separation of church and state. That's the overt justification. Really you think christians are stupid and racist. I've seen it a million times.
     
  10. bamthin
    Online

    bamthin Guest

    Ratings:
    +0
    Wes Clark is from the south and is a religious guy. Funny how Coulter lumps all the Dems in a group and doesn't know this fact. Clark is also in the front runner group.

    Instead she chooses to focus on a Dean gaffe and attribute it to ALL the Dem candidates. What's even funnier is the rabid Clinton-haters lap it all up and beleive it. Who really cares. Anyone who reads her right-wing drivel wouldn't vote for a Dem if they were running against Bin Laden. She is just soaking up their money on her books and laughing all the way to the bank.


    -Bam
     

Share This Page