New and looking to talk about race relations

[LABlk]

I am new to the forum. Found the site after watching another social media hate-fest of crappy comments by a divided people. In a nutshell, I think we need to talk and heal this country. Seen so many posts by black people who have given up that there are white people who can listen. Tired of white people not stopping to really listen. Blame rips us apart as a nation. It's like two angry people in the middle of a divorce. The media is throwing gas on everything, everywhere. In the middle of all this crazy finger pointing, how can we heal? I'm listening, I want to help.
I'm a white conservative person. For the record, I dislike Trump and will probably vote libertarian this year.

 

[Sonny Clark]

I am new to the forum. Found the site after watching another social media hate-fest of crappy comments by a divided people. In a nutshell, I think we need to talk and heal this country. Seen so many posts by black people who have given up that there are white people who can listen. Tired of white people not stopping to really listen. Blame rips us apart as a nation. It's like two angry people in the middle of a divorce. The media is throwing gas on everything, everywhere. In the middle of all this crazy finger pointing, how can we heal? I'm listening, I want to help.
I'm a white conservative person. For the record, I dislike Trump and will probably vote libertarian this year.

In my opinion, it'll take many more decades before racism becomes a non-factor. Racism has been around for hundreds of years, if not thousands of years, and it's not going to disappear overnight. There are people that are determined to keep racism alive and well.

There are many haters on all sides of the issue. Hate breeds violence, civil discord, class warfare, social division, economic prejudices, and "us against them" mentalities. Racial equality, the absence of racial prejudices, and social acceptance of different races, is nothing more than a dream at this point in history. The only solution I see is "TIME".

For the record, I support Trump. I'll vote for Trump. I'm an American for America, nothing more. I do NOT wear a political label.

 

[Fueri]

Well, I agree with you on this issue, which my posting history will support.

This is a difficult issue to find middle ground on and standing on it will get you shit from both sides.

As to whether or not you'll find a robust and honest discussion seeking solutions or primarily partisan slinging on this topic, my thought is to stand on your principles on this issue, bring facts and back them up- and either ignore the partisan hacks or kick them squarely in the face.....

 

[Sunni Man]

Seen so many posts by black people who have given up that there are white people who can listen. Tired of white people not stopping to really listen.

Personally, I'm tired of hearing blacks whine, and blame everything on whitey.

Time for them to stand up and start changing themselves and their community.

And quit depending on the white man to fix their problems. ......

 

[LABlk]

Thanks for the replies. Here is my thought on this whole thing.
What we have here is a failure to communicate It IS hard to hear people tell you that you are the reason that they can't get ahead, when you never personally met them. Blaming "them" for blaming "us" is a circular blame game...not fixing anything. How can we help stop this crap and move on? I'm looking for concrete steps. If black folks don't feel heard, maybe we're not listening very well. Maybe we should listen with an open mind.
Now, I do not feel responsible for anyone but myself and family. My family fought for the north in the civil war. I have history back to the 1600's and we weren't slave holders. I have had family turned down for promotion for being white and have had to pay more for my daughter's education (long story there). I'm not sure how my white skin made me responsible for social ills, but what I can do is listen. No conversations are had by hurling insults.

Forgive this analogy. Back to the divorce illustration. Racism will not heal until the problems are heard and the parts that are still broken are addressed.

Years ago I was abused in a marriage. When I finally left, I was in pain. For a while I spent time in the man-haters club. I thought they all lied. It was a stage. I healed over time and realized not all men were bad. Heck, some were wonderful. But in crisis and in pain, I couldnt receive that message. Fast forward 10 years to a happy, solid marriage. I learned to 1, pick better and accept responsibility for picking my chosen companion and 2. trust.

Black folks in America did have abuse behind them. Sometimes they still do. Maybe some people cannot see or feel anything else right now.

 

[Fueri]

Thanks for the replies. Here is my thought on this whole thing.
What we have here is a failure to communicate It IS hard to hear people tell you that you are the reason that they can't get ahead, when you never personally met them. Blaming "them" for blaming "us" is a circular blame game...not fixing anything. How can we help stop this crap and move on? I'm looking for concrete steps. If black folks don't feel heard, maybe we're not listening very well. Maybe we should listen with an open mind.
Now, I do not feel responsible for anyone but myself and family. My family fought for the north in the civil war. I have history back to the 1600's and we weren't slave holders. I have had family turned down for promotion for being white and have had to pay more for my daughter's education (long story there). I'm not sure how my white skin made me responsible for social ills, but what I can do is listen. No conversations are had by hurling insults.

Forgive this analogy. Back to the divorce illustration. Racism will not heal until the problems are heard and the parts that are still broken are addressed.

Years ago I was abused in a marriage. When I finally left, I was in pain. For a while I spent time in the man-haters club. I thought they all lied. It was a stage. I healed over time and realized not all men were bad. Heck, some were wonderful. But in crisis and in pain, I couldnt receive that message. Fast forward 10 years to a happy, solid marriage. I learned to 1, pick better and accept responsibility for picking my chosen companion and 2. trust.

Black folks in America did have abuse behind them. Sometimes they still do. Maybe some people cannot see or feel anything else right now.

I guess this is where we'll possibly diverge somewhat. There are two sides (at least )to the issue.

Both sides need to clean the shit out of their ears, stop pointing at the other guy while denying any role in the problem, and start acting in good faith with a much larger dose of honesty, or this never changes. Ever.

 

[LABlk]

We have to find the middle ground and move forward with honesty...yeah, and love. Nothing will heal without a lot of both.

 

[Ringel05]

I am new to the forum. Found the site after watching another social media hate-fest of crappy comments by a divided people. In a nutshell, I think we need to talk and heal this country. Seen so many posts by black people who have given up that there are white people who can listen. Tired of white people not stopping to really listen. Blame rips us apart as a nation. It's like two angry people in the middle of a divorce. The media is throwing gas on everything, everywhere. In the middle of all this crazy finger pointing, how can we heal? I'm listening, I want to help.
I'm a white conservative person. For the record, I dislike Trump and will probably vote libertarian this year.

Everyone has to have a dream....... or fantasy, whichever way you want to look at it.
Welcome to the nuthouse!!!

 

[Ridgerunner]

A few things I would like to address in post #5... Will return later...

 

[Ringel05]

A few things I would like to address in post #5... Will return later...

View attachment 81626

Well that was a pretty stupid response. Oh well.

 

[Ridgerunner]

Well that was a pretty stupid response. Oh well

My apologies for not living up to your standards...

 

[Ringel05]

Well that was a pretty stupid response. Oh well

My apologies for not living up to your standards...

Apology accepted.

 

[ClosedCaption]

I am new to the forum. Found the site after watching another social media hate-fest of crappy comments by a divided people. In a nutshell, I think we need to talk and heal this country. Seen so many posts by black people who have given up that there are white people who can listen. Tired of white people not stopping to really listen. Blame rips us apart as a nation. It's like two angry people in the middle of a divorce. The media is throwing gas on everything, everywhere. In the middle of all this crazy finger pointing, how can we heal? I'm listening, I want to help.
I'm a white conservative person. For the record, I dislike Trump and will probably vote libertarian this year.

Watch how they put you in a box. You wont be allowed to be a white dude who is concerned you'll most likely be called an apologist for violence or you suffer from white guilt.

 

[waltky]

Granny says here inna South...

... there's three things polite people don't talk about...

... politics, religion...

... an' Niggra's.

 

[LABlk]

I am new to the forum. Found the site after watching another social media hate-fest of crappy comments by a divided people. In a nutshell, I think we need to talk and heal this country. Seen so many posts by black people who have given up that there are white people who can listen. Tired of white people not stopping to really listen. Blame rips us apart as a nation. It's like two angry people in the middle of a divorce. The media is throwing gas on everything, everywhere. In the middle of all this crazy finger pointing, how can we heal? I'm listening, I want to help.
I'm a white conservative person. For the record, I dislike Trump and will probably vote libertarian this year.

Watch how they put you in a box. You wont be allowed to be a white dude who is concerned you'll most likely be called an apologist for violence or you suffer from white guilt.

Agree. Thats part of the problem. We're so ef'fin polarized that we are either "libtarded" or "teabaggers" with no opportunity for dialogue. The world has turned to sound-bite one-uppance.

One other wee detail; I am not, nor have I ever been a dude.

 

[JoeMoma]

I am new to the forum. Found the site after watching another social media hate-fest of crappy comments by a divided people. In a nutshell, I think we need to talk and heal this country. Seen so many posts by black people who have given up that there are white people who can listen. Tired of white people not stopping to really listen. Blame rips us apart as a nation. It's like two angry people in the middle of a divorce. The media is throwing gas on everything, everywhere. In the middle of all this crazy finger pointing, how can we heal? I'm listening, I want to help.
I'm a white conservative person. For the record, I dislike Trump and will probably vote libertarian this year.

Watch how they put you in a box. You wont be allowed to be a white dude who is concerned you'll most likely be called an apologist for violence or you suffer from white guilt.

Agree. Thats part of the problem. We're so ef'fin polarized that we are either "libtarded" or "teabaggers" with no opportunity for dialogue. The world has turned to sound-bite one-uppance.

One other wee detail; I am not, nor have I ever been a dude.

Welcome!
Nice to know you are not jumping on the Transgendered wagon.

 

[Fueri]

We have to find the middle ground and move forward with honesty...yeah, and love. Nothing will heal without a lot of both.

Yep, there's a middle ground here, although even that is more of a meeting space than a static space. More of a 'put down your weapons and preconceived notions' space, I think.

It's not a static space, as people are not homogeneous. Groups of people are not homogeneous. Each situation has different actors and may have similar characteristics to others, but is unique to some extent. Broad-brushing those actors into a 'side' or assuming we know their motives or culpability, based on skin color, or the fact that they carry a badge, is mentally lazy and destructive.

All whites are not racists. All blacks are not racists. All cops are not bad cops. All of these things are absolutely, positively, undeniably true, and both sides give lip service to those things and then go right back to acting as if they're not.

We can say, ok, but we are seeing similar situations repeatedly whereby this or that happens- and it's undeniable that we see patterns. Problem is, when we see a similar situation, that's where the analysis and thought stops, we say "aha! there it is again", our confirmation bias kicks in, the blaming begins and the broad brushes come out. And then that's all there is....

 

[LABlk]

One other wee detail; I am not, nor have I ever been a dude.[/QUOTE]
Welcome!
Nice to know you are not jumping on the Transgendered wagon.[/QUOTE]

I really want to avoid transportation by bandwagon. Everyone always tries to get off at the same stop.

 

[Hossfly]

I am new to the forum. Found the site after watching another social media hate-fest of crappy comments by a divided people. In a nutshell, I think we need to talk and heal this country. Seen so many posts by black people who have given up that there are white people who can listen. Tired of white people not stopping to really listen. Blame rips us apart as a nation. It's like two angry people in the middle of a divorce. The media is throwing gas on everything, everywhere. In the middle of all this crazy finger pointing, how can we heal? I'm listening, I want to help.
I'm a white conservative person. For the record, I dislike Trump and will probably vote libertarian this year.

Watch how they put you in a box. You wont be allowed to be a white dude who is concerned you'll most likely be called an apologist for violence or you suffer from white guilt.

Agree. Thats part of the problem. We're so ef'fin polarized that we are either "libtarded" or "teabaggers" with no opportunity for dialogue. The world has turned to sound-bite one-uppance.

One other wee detail; I am not, nor have I ever been a dude.

 

[Ridgerunner]

What we have here is a failure to communicate It IS hard to hear people tell you that you are the reason that they can't get ahead, when you never personally met them.

LAB, I could not agree with you more... It is really tough for some people to hear with their mouth open...

Years ago I was abused in a marriage. When I finally left, I was in pain. For a while I spent time in the man-haters club. I thought they all lied. It was a stage. I healed over time and realized not all men were bad.

Understandable. I call it the "hot stove reaction". If you get burnt putting wood in the stove, it can possibly take some time till you do it again. Healing comes when you get cold... I am happy for you that you found happiness...

Black folks in America did have abuse behind them. Sometimes they still do. Maybe some people cannot see or feel anything else right now.

As far as I am concerned and in my observations over my lifetime some blacks did have very harsh treatment delved out to them. I was fortunate to be raised in a home where an individual was treated by the impression that he or she left behind. I have tried all of my life to live by the rule of "First Impressions".

Sorry I could not respond immediately but yet wanted to welcome you to the board. As for the meme I posted it was meant in jest. I try to greet all new folks with a little humor. Hope you enjoy your stay...