Navy Seal as a father for some

[Wicked Jester]

I apologize for saying, "brainwashed". He became scary to me at times... Especially when he started drinking and having flashbacks.

One 4th of July he had to go to the basement and wear earplugs because the fireworks that were blasting made him nervous. I was ten at the time and I remember following him down there and asked if he was ok. I could clearly see he wasn't. He replied in a scared voice and said, "please let me be. I'll be upstairs soon.". I never understood that moment until years later as to why he seemed so frightened.

I would like to also say I am not saying all military are like this. I am only speaking from MY experience with MY father. There are amazing people who are in the military and have never acted the way dad did/does.

That's because you have never been on the other end of incoming.

Geaux,
Maybe it's also because a ten-year-old little girl whose daddy is going through that can't understand why; or why the way he acts scares her sometimes, or why he drinks too much...sometimes, it's not just about us, no matter how much we hurt....

We have a lady in our group who was a nurse in Vietnam. She came home and went to medical school and became a doctor. She's been married 6 times. Was a raging alcoholic, which ended her private practice many years back, and has just now been able to mend things with one of her 7 children thanks to what she's learned through counseling. She's working on her relationship with her other 6 kids, but it wasn't until she finally sought counseling that she's been able to do so. Still, she's got a long way to go.

 

[geauxtohell]

You must not be a parent gueax

I am not. Why is it relevant? There are plenty of bad/abusive/neglectful parents that haven't seen a day of military service.

 

[Truthmatters]

What we're talking about here is NOT "brainwashing"; but a selection and training process designed to produce troops whose physical, intellectual and emotional abilities , as well as their motivation and dedication, allow them to perform missions in environments and situations which are far more extreme than the conventional combat soldier can be expected to cope with effectively. As an old Special Forces recruiting poster put it, "People join us not because we are different...but because they are". The fact is, though, that just as no selection and training process can produce a man that is bulletproof, it can't produce a man who is emotionally unbreakable, either. These are still men, not automatons, and every man has a breaking point. Just as the armed forces know and accept that a certain proportion of these men will be killed or wounded in doing the missions they are tasked with, they also know and accept that some will be damaged or destroyed emotionally. We're talking extraordinarily skilled and resilient, not indestructible. The man being discussed here is a case in point; something he had to do or see broke him, as it has many others. It's not about brainwashing, but about the extreme missions such operators are tasked with performing. This is just one more part of the cruel calculus of war, and especially that of unconventional warfare. It's not the military's fault, and it's not the individual's fault. The breaking point for these personnel may be both well beyond and different from that of most ordinary people, but it is there, nonetheless, and for reasons we cannot know this man reached his. What I've seen described here is severe PTSD, and those of us who have experienced that would recognize it as such. It's an occupational hazard for any combatant, and "brainwashing" has nothing to do with it, nothing at all.

You are correct.

Some can handle it, others can't.

I know a British Royal Marine who is one of the highest trained soldiers in their military. He is made of steel and yet sometimes.........

But he knows his calling is to his country and the men he serves with, and everything else comes second. That's why he's the best at what he does.

Like you said, some can handle the intense training, others can't



Those that have 'inner demons' need to get help through the VA or elsewhere.

Marines, SEALs.... any of our military.... they are human beings, not robots. But I suspect not many would want their service, or their issues, being discussed by a bunch of strangers on a messageboard.

Personally, I doubt the OP has said one truthful word since she joined the board... and I find it offensive that she would use those who serve in our military to satisfy some sick fantasy of hers.

Im sure the vets who have made this type of sacrafice would not like you to council their children through these types of problems.

You see they love these children even if you dont.

 

[Warrior102]

Why?

I feel so sorry for my dad but then I get so angry because he seems so whacked at times. My family and friends keep trying to tell me that I don't know what it's like to live his life. Yes, I do. He created me. I lived with him and saw his actions, PTSD, night terrors, paranoia, and also the fantastic fun times when he wasn't having a flash back. He's amazing but scary too. I miss him. We haven't spoken in a year because he thought I was out to ruin him and what he has worked for. He didn't call me for my birthday and i just want to know if he is ok.

Anyone out there know what it's like to be a navy seal or a child of a navy seal who became damaged after war? Any responses will be appreciated.

Some days are better than others sweetie.
My two biggest events were the Marine barracks in 83 and turret 2 aboard USS Iowa on April 19, 1989. Still have bad days.

 

[geauxtohell]

That's because you have never been on the other end of incoming.

Geaux,
Maybe it's also because a ten-year-old little girl whose daddy is going through that can't understand why; or why the way he acts scares her sometimes, or why he drinks too much...sometimes, it's not just about us, no matter how much we hurt....

We have a lady in our group who was a nurse in Vietnam. She came home and went to medical school and became a doctor. She's been married 6 times. Was a raging alcoholic, which ended her private practice many years back, and has just now been able to mend things with one of her 7 children thanks to what she's learned through counseling. She's working on her relationship with her other 6 kids, but it wasn't until she finally sought counseling that she's been able to do so. Still, she's got a long way to go.

Off topic, but I always find it ironic that physicians are often times the most resistant to seek psychiatric help.

 

[Truthmatters]

Thank you for your service and scarafice Warrior102

 

[Warrior102]

Geaux,
Maybe it's also because a ten-year-old little girl whose daddy is going through that can't understand why; or why the way he acts scares her sometimes, or why he drinks too much...sometimes, it's not just about us, no matter how much we hurt....

We have a lady in our group who was a nurse in Vietnam. She came home and went to medical school and became a doctor. She's been married 6 times. Was a raging alcoholic, which ended her private practice many years back, and has just now been able to mend things with one of her 7 children thanks to what she's learned through counseling. She's working on her relationship with her other 6 kids, but it wasn't until she finally sought counseling that she's been able to do so. Still, she's got a long way to go.

Off topic, but I always find it ironic that physicians are often times the most resistant to seek psychiatric help.

Interesting.
Where did you learn this?

 

[Warrior102]

Thank you for your service and scarafice Warrior102

It was an honor to serve. Still miss those days
Thank you!!!

 

[California Girl]

You are correct.

Some can handle it, others can't.

I know a British Royal Marine who is one of the highest trained soldiers in their military. He is made of steel and yet sometimes.........

But he knows his calling is to his country and the men he serves with, and everything else comes second. That's why he's the best at what he does.

Like you said, some can handle the intense training, others can't



Those that have 'inner demons' need to get help through the VA or elsewhere.

Marines, SEALs.... any of our military.... they are human beings, not robots. But I suspect not many would want their service, or their issues, being discussed by a bunch of strangers on a messageboard.

Personally, I doubt the OP has said one truthful word since she joined the board... and I find it offensive that she would use those who serve in our military to satisfy some sick fantasy of hers.

Im sure the vets who have made this type of sacrafice would not like you to council their children through these types of problems.

You see they love these children even if you dont.

I have no evidence other than the OPs bullshit claims about a SEAL 'father'. I personally don't see why anyone who had a SEAL for a parent would be discussing that parent's personal issues on a public message board.

So, if I believed a work she said, maybe - MAYBE - you would have a point.... however, again, you make up facts to suit your own hatred. Hence you are a septic tank... full of shit.

 

[The Gadfly]

Gadfly, Thank you for your sacrafice of service

Thank you, Truth; it was an honor and a privilege to give some; but this holiday is for those who gave ALL - all their hopes, all their dreams, all their tomorrows, for this nation, for its constitution, for the American people and for their brothers and sisters in arms. To them we owe a debt we can never repay. I can only hope that we, as a country, as a people, and as individuals, can be worthy of their legacy.

 

[geauxtohell]

We have a lady in our group who was a nurse in Vietnam. She came home and went to medical school and became a doctor. She's been married 6 times. Was a raging alcoholic, which ended her private practice many years back, and has just now been able to mend things with one of her 7 children thanks to what she's learned through counseling. She's working on her relationship with her other 6 kids, but it wasn't until she finally sought counseling that she's been able to do so. Still, she's got a long way to go.

Off topic, but I always find it ironic that physicians are often times the most resistant to seek psychiatric help.

Interesting.
Where did you learn this?

I am entering my last year of Medical School.

 

[Warrior102]

Marines, SEALs.... any of our military.... they are human beings, not robots. But I suspect not many would want their service, or their issues, being discussed by a bunch of strangers on a messageboard.

Personally, I doubt the OP has said one truthful word since she joined the board... and I find it offensive that she would use those who serve in our military to satisfy some sick fantasy of hers.

Im sure the vets who have made this type of sacrafice would not like you to council their children through these types of problems.

You see they love these children even if you dont.

I have no evidence other than the OPs bullshit claims about a SEAL 'father'. I personally don't see why anyone who had a SEAL for a parent would be discussing that parent's personal issues on a public message board.

So, if I believed a work she said, maybe - MAYBE - you would have a point.... however, again, you make up facts to suit your own hatred. Hence you are a septic tank... full of shit.

That was my point when I responded. You don't have to be a SEAL to see some bad things.

ANY service member is subject to life-altering experiences.

My Dad - 90 years old, WW2 vet, has told me some INCREDIBLE things that occurred in the Pacific. And I mean incredible!

 

[Wicked Jester]

Geaux,
Maybe it's also because a ten-year-old little girl whose daddy is going through that can't understand why; or why the way he acts scares her sometimes, or why he drinks too much...sometimes, it's not just about us, no matter how much we hurt....

We have a lady in our group who was a nurse in Vietnam. She came home and went to medical school and became a doctor. She's been married 6 times. Was a raging alcoholic, which ended her private practice many years back, and has just now been able to mend things with one of her 7 children thanks to what she's learned through counseling. She's working on her relationship with her other 6 kids, but it wasn't until she finally sought counseling that she's been able to do so. Still, she's got a long way to go.

Off topic, but I always find it ironic that physicians are often times the most resistant to seek psychiatric help.

She saw some horrific shit. They saw the after affects of combat, when 10, 15, 20, wounded would be dumped in their laps at a time, day after day after day......She was treating dudes who were no more than two years older than her high school sophomore aged son back home..........She lived in denial for many years. Drowned it out through alcohol and men.....It wasn't until she tore her house completely apart after her last husband left her, that she realized her problems were far more than she could handle on her own.

 

[Truthmatters]

Marines, SEALs.... any of our military.... they are human beings, not robots. But I suspect not many would want their service, or their issues, being discussed by a bunch of strangers on a messageboard.

Personally, I doubt the OP has said one truthful word since she joined the board... and I find it offensive that she would use those who serve in our military to satisfy some sick fantasy of hers.

Im sure the vets who have made this type of sacrafice would not like you to council their children through these types of problems.

You see they love these children even if you dont.

I have no evidence other than the OPs bullshit claims about a SEAL 'father'. I personally don't see why anyone who had a SEAL for a parent would be discussing that parent's personal issues on a public message board.

So, if I believed a work she said, maybe - MAYBE - you would have a point.... however, again, you make up facts to suit your own hatred. Hence you are a septic tank... full of shit.

I love you Caligirl.

thank you for your deep compassion for others.

 

[Warrior102]

Off topic, but I always find it ironic that physicians are often times the most resistant to seek psychiatric help.

Interesting.
Where did you learn this?

I am entering my last year of Medical School.

Wow! You must be one hell of a student!!! My son is in pre-Med and he doesn't even have time to call me or log onto the Internet. He's sleeping right now!! Home on break. This semester he averaged 20 hour days. And now he's home working 8 hour days. I don't know how he does it!
You're at 9,000 posts and Med School?
Wow!!! How do you have time for fun?

 

[Wicked Jester]

Gadfly, Thank you for your sacrafice of service

Thank you, Truth; it was an honor and a privilege to give some; but this holiday is for those who gave ALL - all their hopes, all their dreams, all their tomorrows, for this nation, for its constitution, for the American people and for their brothers and sisters in arms. To them we owe a debt we can never repay. I can only hope that we, as a country, as a people, and as individuals, can be worthy of their legacy.

Sadly, many people in this country treat Memorial Day as nothing but a free day off and time to BBQ.

 

[Warrior102]

Gadfly, Thank you for your sacrafice of service

Thank you, Truth; it was an honor and a privilege to give some; but this holiday is for those who gave ALL - all their hopes, all their dreams, all their tomorrows, for this nation, for its constitution, for the American people and for their brothers and sisters in arms. To them we owe a debt we can never repay. I can only hope that we, as a country, as a people, and as individuals, can be worthy of their legacy.

Sadly, many people in this country treat Memorial Day as nothing but a free day off and time to BBQ.

You're right.

I did the Civil War thing today in Virginia. Many excellent cemeteries I visited. I was impressed with how many "old timers" were out mowing the grass/weed whacking at these places, as if left to the local communities, it wouldn't have gotten done. These were obviously volunteers.

Every place I visited today, looked trim and proper!

Nice to see American flags placed on the Vet's final resting place.

I had a good day.

 

[Truthmatters]

Gadfly, Thank you for your sacrafice of service

Thank you, Truth; it was an honor and a privilege to give some; but this holiday is for those who gave ALL - all their hopes, all their dreams, all their tomorrows, for this nation, for its constitution, for the American people and for their brothers and sisters in arms. To them we owe a debt we can never repay. I can only hope that we, as a country, as a people, and as individuals, can be worthy of their legacy.

I think these ones who made the ulitmate scarafice would have wanted all of wars ravages talked of on this day.

They were walking human beings with with human hearts.

 

[geauxtohell]

We have a lady in our group who was a nurse in Vietnam. She came home and went to medical school and became a doctor. She's been married 6 times. Was a raging alcoholic, which ended her private practice many years back, and has just now been able to mend things with one of her 7 children thanks to what she's learned through counseling. She's working on her relationship with her other 6 kids, but it wasn't until she finally sought counseling that she's been able to do so. Still, she's got a long way to go.

Off topic, but I always find it ironic that physicians are often times the most resistant to seek psychiatric help.

She saw some horrific shit. They saw the after affects of combat, when 10, 15, 20, wounded would be dumped in their laps at a time, day after day after day......She was treating dudes who were no more than two years older than her high school sophomore aged son back home..........She lived in denial for many years. Drowned it out through alcohol and men.....It wasn't until she tore her house completely apart after her last husband left her, that she realized her problems were far more than she could handle on her own.

I just watched this three part series on PBS:

Wisconsin Vietnam War Stories - Part 1: Escalation | Wisconsin War Stories | PBS Video

and it was wonderful. They did a great job of covering the perspective of many different jobs from the Grunts to Surgical Nurses that saw this kind of carnage.

The most touching story to me was from a Pastor who had been at Khe Sanh for the entire siege. He had seen and been through months and months of carnage. Yet, when he talked on the camera, the one thing that upset him the most (visibly as he started weeping) was that when he finally go to the rear, and got off the chopper, he went to the mess hall and none of the REMF officers would sit by him. It says so much. A man can go through a lot, but if you insult their dignity, that's so much more poignant and hurtful 40+ years after the fact.

I find it ironic that, in Medical School we all have to study psychiatry, but then we tend to ignore the pathological facet of psychiatric illness after we get out of the obligatory 1-2 months of school that we have to go through. Even if you hated surgery (like me), you don't blow off small bowel obstruction, appendicitis, or any of the other multitude of problems that only surgery can fix. Yet, it's not the same for psychiatry.

 

[geauxtohell]

Interesting.
Where did you learn this?

I am entering my last year of Medical School.

Wow! You must be one hell of a student!!! My son is in pre-Med and he doesn't even have time to call me or log onto the Internet. He's sleeping right now!! Home on break. This semester he averaged 20 hour days. And now he's home working 8 hour days. I don't know how he does it!
You're at 9,000 posts and Med School?
Wow!!! How do you have time for fun?

Are you being serious or calling me out?

In truth, you could spend every free second of your life studying medicine for the rest of your life and not know it all. Somewhere along the line, you realize that you have to budget some time for yourself. I am in my third year of medical school, which is when you are on core rotations. It's more of OJT and less "academic". I am already past the first two years and "Step I". I am currently on an ER rotation, so from 0700 to 1500 I was in the ER on shift (which was a really good shift, incidentally). This will be my last rotation before I enter my senior year and basically take electives and try and match into the residency I want to do.

I think the demands of Med School are a little overstated. The first year is hell, but half of being in Med School is learning how to be a Medical Student. Once you figure out the game, it becomes more manageable or maybe it's because I am older and have a little different perspective.

I come here to blow off some steam. This is far from the top of my priorities for leisure time. Spending time with my wife is the top of that list, but she's at the lake this weekend (as I have shifts all weekend).

If you stick around here for a couple of years, as I had, 9000 posts averages out to 13 posts per day. Some days I am on here a lot (mostly when I am procrastinating), many days I am not on here at all.

Good luck to your son. If he's swinging 20 hours and doing well, he'll do fine in Med School.

As for being "a hell of a student". I am mediocre. I work my ass off to be mediocre (in spite of posting here occasionally). I will never stop learning or working to be better, so I am fine with it.