National Healthcare: Banned Activities

Discussion in 'Healthcare/Insurance/Govt Healthcare' started by eagleseven, Mar 21, 2010.

  1. eagleseven
    Offline

    eagleseven Quod Erat Demonstrandum

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2009
    Messages:
    6,518
    Thanks Received:
    1,254
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    OH
    Ratings:
    +1,255
    With the passing of this healthcare bill, your vices become our expense. Therefore, we expect you to refrain from the following activities:

    1. Eating unhealthy food (as defined by the USDA)
    2. Smoking
    3. Drinking alcohol
    4. Driving without a seatbelt, or with an MP3 player, or with a cellphone
    5. Skydiving, Diving, Skiing, Snowboarding, Surfing, Hang-gliding, and Motorcycling
    6. Contact sports
    7. Tanning, Tattooing, and Body Modification
    8. Unprotected, casual, or unorthodox sex
    9. Ignoring a doctor's order

    As we attempt to maximize the effectiveness of our national healthcare system, while minimizing the costs, you will be legally penalized for any of the above behaviors.

    Have a Nice Day!
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  2. Baruch Menachem
    Offline

    Baruch Menachem '

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2008
    Messages:
    14,204
    Thanks Received:
    3,235
    Trophy Points:
    185
    Ratings:
    +3,305
    Actually, driving without a seat belt will become mandatory. Mild injuries are an expense, fatalities are a profit to the government
     
  3. xsited1
    Offline

    xsited1 Agent P

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2008
    Messages:
    17,750
    Thanks Received:
    5,299
    Trophy Points:
    198
    Location:
    Little Rock, AR
    Ratings:
    +5,306
    Thank God we have the Democratically-controlled government to thank for all these restrictions! They know what's best for us. :thup:
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  4. WillowTree
    Offline

    WillowTree Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2008
    Messages:
    68,156
    Thanks Received:
    10,167
    Trophy Points:
    2,030
    Ratings:
    +14,729
    when are they going to demonize/take over the funeral industry,, they are gonna need some good funeral homes in their control.
     
  5. xotoxi
    Offline

    xotoxi Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2009
    Messages:
    30,322
    Thanks Received:
    5,203
    Trophy Points:
    1,110
    Location:
    your mother
    Ratings:
    +5,492
    Masturbation will be illegal because the government does not want to pay for electrolysis of excessive palm hair.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  6. eagleseven
    Offline

    eagleseven Quod Erat Demonstrandum

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2009
    Messages:
    6,518
    Thanks Received:
    1,254
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    OH
    Ratings:
    +1,255
    God help you if some clinician declares excessive masturbation bad for your health...
     
  7. uscitizen
    Offline

    uscitizen Senior Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2007
    Messages:
    45,941
    Thanks Received:
    4,791
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    My Shack
    Ratings:
    +4,807
    Everyone in the church I was raised in knew that to get sexual relief you had to wait till marriage or burn in hell for all eternity.
    The same denomination as Palin's church btw.
     
  8. Zona
    Offline

    Zona A guy in ariZONA

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2009
    Messages:
    13,874
    Thanks Received:
    941
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ.
    Ratings:
    +942

    Link or is this pure bullshit.
     
  9. eagleseven
    Offline

    eagleseven Quod Erat Demonstrandum

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2009
    Messages:
    6,518
    Thanks Received:
    1,254
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    OH
    Ratings:
    +1,255
    Imagine the fun we'll have, when religious fundies take the reins of the national healthcare system!
     
  10. PeterS
    Offline

    PeterS Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2008
    Messages:
    973
    Thanks Received:
    71
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Ratings:
    +71
    Sounds like conservatives have nothing to worry about. What's the problem?
     

Share This Page