names for the act of male masturbation

[Procrustes Stretched]

male masturbation: Gaar-ing

 

[FistyTheBadger]

shutting up the Republicans so you can shove a bill through Congress.

OR

picking off the few Republicans who can alsobe bought off by the same people who buy you off so you can weasel a bill through congress that you can manipulate a good feeling from after you have manufactured the propaganda that it was bipartisan and therefore better than a normal bill.

 

[dilloduck]

shutting up the Republicans so you can shove a bill through Congress.

OR

picking off the few Republicans who can alsobe bought off by the same people who buy you off so you can weasel a bill through congress that you can manipulate a good feeling from after you have manufactured the propaganda that it was bipartisan and therefore better than a normal bill.

hell--I can get off before I say all that

 

[Father Time]

The old master has compiled a list that beats you guys

George Carlin

Here is but a sample

TEASE THE WEENIE
TENDERIZE THE MEAT
THE FIVE-KNUCKLE SHUFFLE
THUMP THE PUMP
TICKLE YOUR PICKLE
TOSS OFF
TWEAK YOUR TWINKIE
VARNISH THE FLAGPOLE
VISITING ROSIE PALM AND
HER FIVE DAUGHTERS
WALK THE DOG
WANK
WAX THE CARROT
WAX THE DOLPHIN
WHACK OFF
WHIP OFF
WHIP THE DUMMY
WHIP THE WIRE
WHIP YOUR DRIPPER

[youtube]N0ee4wqZvf8[/youtube]

Let no one ever tell you dirty words aren't funny.

 

[Luissa]

I am going to rant now because I am drunk! It doesn't matter about what you call male masturbation, what you guys really want is a girl to rock your world! I will give you inside to awesome sex, find their g spot and use it often and if you do they will do whatever you want. You can find there vaginal g spot but find there whole body g spot and you will be thankful forever. Even if you are married I can promise you have not found their ultimate g spot and trust me you may think we have gotten off but we know how to fake it very well and it still feels good to us if we have not gotten off. If you want us to do whatever you want in bed find our full body g spot. Trust me 75% of you have not found this even if you are married, and your wife may not even know where it is at and that it can be better but once she finds it you will thank me.

 

[YWN666]

Conferring with your staff
Shaking hands with Yul Brynner

 

[FistyTheBadger]

Trying to stimulate the economy, but ending up just losing millions and millions of jobs. Millions, nay, BILLIONS!!! Mwahahahahahahahahaha!

 

[Father Time]

Trying to stimulate the economy, but ending up just losing millions and millions of jobs. Millions, nay, BILLIONS!!! Mwahahahahahahahahaha!

Nothing a good old economic stimulus package can't solve (hand delivered of course).

 

[manu1959]

I am going to rant now because I am drunk! It doesn't matter about what you call male masturbation, what you guys really want is a girl to rock your world! I will give you inside to awesome sex, find their g spot and use it often and if you do they will do whatever you want. You can find there vaginal g spot but find there whole body g spot and you will be thankful forever. Even if you are married I can promise you have not found their ultimate g spot and trust me you may think we have gotten off but we know how to fake it very well and it still feels good to us if we have not gotten off. If you want us to do whatever you want in bed find our full body g spot. Trust me 75% of you have not found this even if you are married, and your wife may not even know where it is at and that it can be better but once she finds it you will thank me.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...the quest for the holy grail.....

 

[DavidS]

Paulieing off.

 

[Gunny]

"Rosie" -- Jackson Browne

She was standing at the load-in
When the trucks rolled up
She was sniffing all around
Like a half grown female pup
She wasnt hard to talk to
Looked like she had nowhere to go
So I gave her my pass
So she could get in and see the show

Well I sat her down right next to me
And I got her a beer
While I mixed that sound on stage
So the band could hear
The more I watched her watch them play
The less I could think of to say
And when they walked off stage
The drummer swept that girl away

But rosie youre all right -- you wear my ring
When you hold me tight -- rosie thats my thing
When you turn out the light -- Ive got to hand it to me
Looks like its me and you again tonight rosie

Well I guess I might have known from the start
Shed come for a star
Might have told my imagination not to run too far
Of all the times that Ive been burned
By now youd think Id have learned
That its who you look like
Not who you are

But rosie youre all right -- you wear my ring
When you hold me tight -- rosie thats my thing
When you turn out the light -- Ive got to hand it to me
Looks like its me and you again tonight rosie

 

[007]

Shake hands with the President
Lope the mule
Polish the pump
Pet the dog

 

[Procrustes Stretched]

everyone

 

[Luissa]

purple headed yogurt slinger (but I don't think that is right??)