Naked partisanship by Defeaticrats

Discussion in 'Politics' started by Stephanie, Jun 19, 2006.

  1. Stephanie

    Stephanie Diamond Member

    Jul 11, 2004
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    Note: This column appears in Monday's print edition of the Register.

    Syndicated columnist


    Perusing reports of this month’s World Naked Bike Ride in San Francisco, I was impressed by the way the acres of sagging mottled flesh stayed ruthlessly on message: “RE-ELECT GORE” was the slogan on one man’s bottom, as fetchingly dimpled as a Palm Beach chad, while beneath the “GORE” on his butt his upper thighs proudly proclaimed “NO WAR” (left leg) “FOR OIL” (right). “I’D RATHER HAVE THIS BUSH FOR PRESIDENT” read one lady’s naked torso, with an arrow pointing downward.

    What a bleak comment on the bitter divisions in our society that even so all-American a tradition as nude bicycling down Main Street should now be so nakedly partisan. It’s as if the republic itself is now divided into a red buttock and a blue buttock permanently cleaved by the bicycle seat of war.

    OK, this metaphor’s jumped the bike path. Let me see if I can find some historical analogy. Back in 1559, devastated by the loss of her last continental possession, Mary Tudor, England’s queen, said that when she died they would find “Calais” engraved on her heart. When the Democratic Party dies, you’ll find “No war for oil” engraved on its upper thighs.

    Despite the Republicans’ best efforts to self-destruct, I can’t see the Democrats taking either the House or Senate this November. As I said a few months back, even a loser has to have someone to lose to, and the Dems refuse to fulfill even that minimum requirement. It may be true that on critical issues such as Iraq and immigration the GOP is divided. But it’s a much bigger stretch to conclude that the beneficiary of those divisions is likely to be the Democratic Party, which is about the last place one would look for a serious position on either issue.
    In that respect, the most significant portent for the Dems may not be their stupendous flopperoo in the special election for former Rep. Duke Cunningham’s district in San Diego, nor the death of Zarqawi nor the nonindictment of Karl Rove – though, taken together, they render pretty threadbare the Democrat strategy of relying on Republican immigration splits, bad news in Iraq and the GOP’s “culture of corruption.”

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