Mysteries of Life

[Gunny]

What IS that hard thing in the center of a bar of soap? It sure as hell ain't soap.

 

[Ravi]

What IS that hard thing in the center of a bar of soap? It sure as hell ain't soap.

huh? What kind of soap are you using...I've never encountered this.

 

[Gunny]

huh? What kind of soap are you using...I've never encountered this.

I guess the better question is what kind of soap are YOU using? I have never had a bar of soap, regardless brand, that once you got down to that last sliver in the middle would lather up like the rest of bar did.

This is not a serious question, btw.

 

[editec]

Who (or what?) keeps stealing my silverware?

When I was first married I had silver-plate table setting ware for 12.

Now I'm struggling to find a spoon.

Where'd it all go?

Pre-Christian Czechs believed their world was inhabited by fairies and spirits which hid stuff, soured the milk, moved furniture so that you'd bump into it at night, and generally messed with people in small ways just for yucks.

I'm convinced they must be right.

Now I KNOW that evil spirits kill my lawnmowers every year.

I KNOW that the unseen world is taking my spoons and forks (but not knives?! Sup wid dat?).

I know perfectly well these devilish imps hide my glasses, smoke my cigarettes, and leave the lights on, too.

There is no rational explaination for these ongoing phenomena other than spirits.

My short term memory is perfect, I'm a reasonably careful person, yet STILL these apostates from hell plauge me with their death by a thousand petty annoyances routine.

Oh yea, two more things...they also leave wet towels on the bathroom floor, and they steal socks from the wash cycle.

 

[Ravi]

I guess the better question is what kind of soap are YOU using? I have never had a bar of soap, regardless brand, that once you got down to that last sliver in the middle would lather up like the rest of bar did.

This is not a serious question, btw.

I didn't take it as such.

 

[Gunny]

Who (or what?) keeps stealing my silverware?

When I was first married I had silver-plate table setting ware for 12.

Now I'm struggling to find a spoon.

Where'd it all go?

Pre-Christian Czechs believed their world was inhabited by fairies and spirits which hid stuff, soured the milk, moved furniture so that you'd bump into it at night, and generally messed with people in small ways just for yucks.

I'm convinced they must be right.

Now I KNOW that evil spirits kill my lawnmowers every year.

I KNOW that the unseen world is taking my spoons and forks (but not knives?! Sup wid dat?).

I know perfectly well these devilish imps hide my glasses, smoke my cigarettes, and leave the lights on, too.

There is no rational explaination for these ongoing phenomena other than spirits.

My short term memory is perfect, I'm a reasonably careful person, yet STILL these apostates from hell plauge me with their death by a thousand petty annoyances routine.

Oh yea, two more things...they also leave wet towels on the bathroom floor, and they steal socks from the wash cycle.

You make some very good points. Obviously, they have time to get into my silverware drawer as well, and I figure they must be amputees since they only steal one sock at a time.

You did however leave out the part where they run about the house arbitrarily turning on lights in unhabited rooms just to watch the meter move. Since no one else in the house has a clue how they got turned on, it HAS to be them.

 

[editec]

You make some very good points. Obviously, they have time to get into my silverware drawer as well, and I figure they must be amputees since they only steal one sock at a time.

You did however leave out the part where they run about the house arbitrarily turning on lights in unhabited rooms just to watch the meter move. Since no one else in the house has a clue how they got turned on, it HAS to be them.

Yup.

You know...I am only half kidding.

Someone or something has been absconding with my silverware for years now.

I am not joking about that.

This mystery has plagued our household ever since we moved into this house.

For years before that, in other homes, I mean, that silverware stayed where we put it.

And it's ONLY the silver plate, too. the steel stuff never goes AWOL.

 

[Shattered]

Yup.

You know...I am only half kidding.

Someone or something has been absconding with my silverware for years now.

I am not joking about that.

This mystery has plagued our household ever since we moved into this house.

For years before that, in other homes, I mean, that silverware stayed where we put it.

And it's ONLY the silver plate, too. the steel stuff never goes AWOL.

You must have a slightly retarded silverware thief, since the first to disappear is usually forks - not spoons. 12 knives, 12 iced tea spoons, 12 soup spoons, 12 teaspoons, 10 dinner forks, 8 dessert forks, 12 seafood forks.

 

[Moon]

I guess the better question is what kind of soap are YOU using? I have never had a bar of soap, regardless brand, that once you got down to that last sliver in the middle would lather up like the rest of bar did.

This is not a serious question, btw.

Too funny. My college newspaper had a section where people could submit questions, and some doctor they found would answer them. The soap question came up, and it has to do with the core of the bar of soap has less air in it than a fresh bar, so it doesn't lather up as well.

You probably weren't looking for an answer to this mystery, but there you have it.

 

[Moon]

You must have a slightly retarded silverware thief, since the first to disappear is usually forks - not spoons. 12 knives, 12 iced tea spoons, 12 soup spoons, 12 teaspoons, 10 dinner forks, 8 dessert forks, 12 seafood forks.

In our house, it's always the teaspoons to go first, followed by the dinner forks. So I end up eating cereal with a tablespoon, and steak with a salad fork. It's no wonder I'm so confused and cranky all the time!

 

[Paulie]

silverware is cheap, folks. You can get it at the dollar store. If you're using the GOOD silverware on a daily basis, then maybe you ought to reconsider in light of the thievery you've been noticing for so long.

 

[AllieBaba]

No kidding.
My mom got me a good silverware service for 12 about 20 years ago. Two husbands, many moves, and two additional children later she STILL asks me when she comes to the house, "where is all the silverware I bought you?"

???

I DON'T KNOW, MOM! It's been 20 flipping years, and I think most of it actually ended up at your house! Stop asking! I don't know where my old saddleblankets go, either. Nor have I kept track of all my underwear. Truth be told, when I can't find it, I JUST BUY NEW UNDERWEAR. Then when I find the old ones, I toss them. Is that a crime? I don't feel like exerting the energy required to keep track of every piece of a 72-piece plus serving set silverware service over 20 years and heavens knows how many moves.

And while we're at it, I agree...whoever is going into my washing machine, where I carefully put PAIRS of dirty socks, and takes single socks (which are never seen again, anywhere) should be put to the rack.

 

[AllieBaba]

That felt good.

 

[CA95380]

What IS that hard thing in the center of a bar of soap? It sure as hell ain't soap.

It's a "Jawbreaker" .... but I would not suggest chewing on it!

 

[CA95380]

Who (or what?) keeps stealing my silverware?

When I was first married I had silver-plate table setting ware for 12.

Now I'm struggling to find a spoon.

Where'd it all go?

At one time in my lifetime I was an assistant manager at a Denny's Rest. One night some guy came in with a pillowcase and layed it on the counter at the cash register. He said "I have seen the light! I am a born again Christian, and I am returning all the silverware I have stolen from Denny's all over the state".

In the bag was approx. 100 assorted knives, forks, spoon, and soup spoons, all with the prominate "D" on each piece.

True Story!

 

[AllieBaba]

Lol. That's funny. Did you see any of my Oneida in there?

 

[Anguille]

What IS that hard thing in the center of a bar of soap? It sure as hell ain't soap.

A soap seed?

 

[AllieBaba]

I throw those away, too. I'm surprised Mom doesn't question me about them.

 

[Paulie]

Check behind your washers and dryers. I've found many a sock behind there.

 

[random3434]

What IS that hard thing in the center of a bar of soap? It sure as hell ain't soap.

As soon as I saw the title of this thread I thought of this:



[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP_NKCV_Dn0]YouTube - Ah sweet mystery of life...[/ame]