My stepson is coming back...

[koshergrl]

He went home, his mother died, and I got a call first from him (this afternoon at work) then from his aunty, asking if he could come back.

The stepfather who killed her has already got the kids' social security $$ coming to him and tried to get their insurance before they had even planned the funeral. My boy has just been running wild; nobody has known where he was at or what he was doing, they finally got him back up at grandma and grandpa's house, his aunt says he looks like a homeless kid, filthy and hungry. None of them know what to do (parenting? Maybe?) It looks like I'm inheriting this mess.

So I think she's bringing him to me next weekend..not this weekend, the next one. I'm glad for him...but batten down the hatches for us, it's going to be a rocky ride.

 

[syrenn]

he will be better off with you KG.

 

[Mad Scientist]

he will be better off with you KG.

Right. There's a reason he's being put in your house.

 

[naturegirl]

Poor kid, sounds like he's been on a roller coaster and is in need of a lot of stability. Don't know how old he is but I know some kids have a hard time accepting rules when they haven't had any.

God bless your family and especially him, good luck.

 

[strollingbones]

he is about 14...i think.....you will be fine k/g....strays are what you do.....

i hope it doesnt take too long.....he has only been gone a month or two? right?

 

[High_Gravity]

Hmm best of luck, hopefully this transition goes smooth somehow.

 

[koshergrl]

Looking for a house a little bit out of town...wish me luck on that! I have a line on one, sent the e-mail....

 

[strollingbones]

just remember....sometimes they are just harder to love

 

[Truthmatters]

treat him with as much love as you can muster.

get him some couseling.

If he has a someone to tell things to who is not emotionally involved it will help him heal so much easier.

when they are hurt so badly they need someone to spew the mixed up ideas they have in their heads who wont have those mixed up words etched into their brains and hearts.

If he does take some of it out on you remember hes just twisted in knots and they are confused feelings he will not always feel.


Good luck , your job is a hard one but very worth doing.

 

[koshergrl]

He was actually doing quite well in our home when I sent him back this spring...it was his behavior at school that got him ousted.

Sooo we have a few weeks before school starts...I've got a call in to the tribal health person here and I'm supposed to talk to him today about counseling/resources, will try to have something in place when he gets here this time. I'm PRAYING that maybe we'll find a program (aside from residential treatment/lockdown...I'm thinking a summer camp with teeth, lol) that we can sink him in for a bit...adolescent daycare, so to speak. I can't spend all day every day with him, and he needs that sort of structure and intense interaction to get him ready for school. Cuz school is a big issue for him, he hates the discipline..he's too young to impose restrictions on himself, and he balks at having them imposed on him. I do it anyway, but the schools are so hands-off they don't really know how to deal with him, and he manipulates the hell out of them....

So here we go!!! We're looking forward to seeing him, can't wait to take him to a few of the haunts now that we have good weather!

 

[Mad Scientist]

You and yer hubby should sit him down at the table with a list of his responsibilities:

1. Mow lawn
2. Take out trash
3. Be home by 8:00 pm or whatever.
4. Homework done and checked every day.
5. Plus whatever else you and hubby want and expect from him

Make him agree to it sign it in front of you both.

 

[koshergrl]

No hubby. His dad is my ex, and a complete wash out.

It's me. And me.

And oh yeah, me.

We'll figure out something.