my Star Wars review...

Dan

Senior Member
Aug 28, 2003
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Aiken, SC
So, my roommate talked me into going to see it, and... Well, some of it was awesome, but the majority of it was bad, bad, BAD!!!!!

Here's the stuff I liked a lot:

-The special effects were by far the best I've seen from the 3 prequels. For the first time in a while (well, since Spiderman 2, anyway), I watched a movie in amazement at the special effects. However, that brings up another discussion in the 'cons' section.

-The action was in full-force and much more dynamic than in Ep. II. The final sword battle was great, as was the opening 20 minutes or so.

And, now the cons....

-About the special effects, I realized watching this movie that I'm the last of a dying breed, the moviegoer who doesn't like CGI. When I watch a movie like this, no matter how great-looking it is, I realize that I'm just looking at computer-generated effects, so they're not interesting. On the other hand, in the original trilogy, there was this sense of wonder I had, that "how'd they do that" feeling. Maybe kids these days feel that way about CGI, it's a shame they'll never have that feeling that I had watching something like Ghostbusters or the original trilogy for the first time.

-Literally every single time a character opened his or her or its mouth, I completely zoned out. The dialogue was soooooooooooooooooooooooooo horrible, coupled with pretty much half-assed acting from everyone (with the exception of Ewan McGregor who was the only one who seemed to inhabit the world the movie took place in), I couldn't stay in the story at all.

-All through the original trilogy, I felt that Vader was just 100% pure evil, a classic movie villain, completely draped in black, totally evil. Now, after seeing this, I think of Vader as a dumbass who was smooth-talked by some old guy into being his pawn. Disappointing.

-Lucas had a weird habit of filling open screen space with stupid little aliens or robots or something. At first, it was cool, but when he was doing it during the final saber fight, it just got annoying and distracting.

-Too much R2-D2. I'll admit that this might just be me not being as into his comic relief as I was when I was a kid, but I felt he was in it way too much, considering Lucas said this wasn't supposed to be a kids' movie.

-Vader's "noooooooooooo" was even more ridiculous than I was expecting. Four groups of people (me and my roommate included) laughed out loud. Almost as classic as: "You can't die." "Yes, I can."

-Not a gripe with the movie, but with all the Burger King tie-ins, all I could think about when Vader was revealed was that stupid, creepy king.

-General Grievous sounded a lot like Dark Helmet from Spaceballs. And, why was he coughing the whole time? What purpose did that serve other than being distracting?

Look, I wanted to like it, I really did. For the first 20, 25 minutes, I was totally with it. Then, I just sort of stopped caring. Never once did I think that I was watching anything other than actors saying lines in front of a fake background. This movie left me with something I never expected: boredom. Through much of the film, I was either looking at other people in the theater, or playing with the flip-up chair next to mine. I will say that it was by far better than Attack of the Clones, but if you know my hatred for that film, you know that that's not saying much. Oh, well, at least I'll always have Empire.
 
Oh, and, this isn't a major problem or anything, but I wish they would've given Natalie Portman more to do other than cry and hug Anakin. She's got the chops (she proved it, for me, in GARDEN STATE and CLOSER), give her a meatier role.
 
One more (sorry guys, they keep coming to me)....

Anakin being able to take care of 5 Jedi Masters in the course of, what, 30 seconds. I understand it was a minor plot point, but he just breezed right through them.

Also, Anakin's whole turn to the dark side seemed to come about very quickly.
 
-=d=- said:
I suspect you feel about III how I feel about I & II as well... :(

I'll probably see III when it's out on DVD.

Yup, that's when I plan on seeing it. It's $8.75 at the theater, and another five or ten for treats. For that price I can own it.
 
Went to the first showing of the day yesterday and it was only $5.75. Finaly saw the movie and... "I liked it".
 
I haven't read this thread up to this point as I hadn't seen the movie. I have now seen the movie and did really like it.

However....






Spoiler here, get out of the thread if you don't want to see it!






















Did anybody else think that last scene with Darth Vader to be reminiscent of the poor acting in the scene with Luke finding out that Vader was his father?

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It's not true!"
 
no1tovote4 said:
Did anybody else think that last scene with Darth Vader to be reminiscent of the poor acting in the scene with Luke finding out that Vader was his father?

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It's not true!"

Yeah... but Luke's was somewhat believeable. Darth's was not. That's got to be the crappiest line in the entire series.
 
That's got to be the crappiest line in the entire series.

I don't know, man, there was another gem in Ep. III...

"You look beautiful right now."
"That's because I'm in love with you."
"No, it's because I'M in love with YOU."

:rolleyes:
 
Dan said:
I don't know, man, there was another gem in Ep. III...

"You look beautiful right now."
"That's because I'm in love with you."
"No, it's because I'M in love with YOU."

:rolleyes:

I've had similar conversations with my wife. That one is at least understandable.

My two candidates for bad lines/delivery:

------------
Ep II, where Padme and Anakin are by the fireplace:

ANAKIN: From the moment I met you, all those years ago, a
day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought of you. And now
that I'm with you again, I'm in agony. The closer I get to
you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you
makes my stomach turn over - my mouth goes dry. I feel
dizzy. I can't breathe. I'm haunted by the kiss you should
never have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that kiss
will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting
me. What can I do? I will do anything you ask...

Silence. The logs flame in the hearth. PADMÉ meets his eye,
then looks away.

ANAKIN: If you are suffering as much as I am, tell me.

PADMÉ: ...I can't. We can't. It's just not possible.

ANAKIN: Anything's possible. Padmé, please listen...

PADMÉ: You listen. We live in a real world. Come back to
it. You're studying to become a Jedi Knight. I'm a Senator.
If you follow your thoughts through to conclusion, they
will take us to a place we cannot go... regardless of the
way we feel about each other.

ANAKIN: Then you do feel something!

PADMÉ: Jedi aren't allowed to marry. You'd be expelled from
the Order. I will not let you give up your future for me.

ANAKIN: You're asking me to be rational. That is something
I know I cannot do. Believe me, I wish I could wish my
feelings away... but I can't.

PADMÉ: I am not going to give in to this.
-----------

Ep. VI: When Luke surrenders himself to Vader: "Search your feelings, father. You can't do this. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate!" Worst delivery ever.
 
Not to bring a world of flames my way, but I didn't think Mark Hamill's line deliveries were all that great. Everything he said really sounded like someone who had never acted before and was told to really show his emotions as much as possible. He had a good look for the role, but the acting was pretty bad. Like I said, I think Ewan McGregor, Alec Guiness, and Harrison Ford were the only ones in any movie who actually seemed to be into their roles and not just saying their lines with a little sense of "isn't this funny, look at all the robots." Basically, those three seemed to take their roles seriously, or at least they approached their roles and gave them the same respect they would with any other role.

Jeff, please tell me you cut and pasted that ep. II dialogue, you couldn't possibly have that movie memorized, right? I guess a better question would be, did you like ep. II? I thought it was terrible, far worse than ep. III.

Also, another thing I thought of that didn't make much sense was that the Master Jedis are supposedly the greatest Jedis in the universe, and yet every single one was easily dispatched by a few storm troopers or clones each. Hell, Anakin took out about four of him on his own! I understand, Anakin was particularly badass, but still.

One thing I did think was really cool, though, was how Yoda dispatched the Emperor's two guards toward the end. Really great moment, I thought.
 
Best scene in EP. III, is when Yoda walks into the Chancler's/Emporer's quarters, lifts his hand and sends two royal gaurds reeling into the wall and crumpling to the floor. In an otherwise quite theater, I laughed as did others at that, and at no other point.

Still, I liked the movie. Very good from an entertainment point of view. It was everything that I'd expected.
 
Best scene in EP. III, is when Yoda walks into the Chancler's/Emporer's quarters, lifts his hand and sends two royal gaurds reeling into the wall and crumpling to the floor. In an otherwise quite theater, I laughed as did others at that, and at no other point.

Yeah, that's the one I was talking about, that was funny.
 
Dan said:
Not to bring a world of flames my way, but I didn't think Mark Hamill's line deliveries were all that great. Everything he said really sounded like someone who had never acted before and was told to really show his emotions as much as possible. He had a good look for the role, but the acting was pretty bad. Like I said, I think Ewan McGregor, Alec Guiness, and Harrison Ford were the only ones in any movie who actually seemed to be into their roles and not just saying their lines with a little sense of "isn't this funny, look at all the robots." Basically, those three seemed to take their roles seriously, or at least they approached their roles and gave them the same respect they would with any other role.

Jeff, please tell me you cut and pasted that ep. II dialogue, you couldn't possibly have that movie memorized, right? I guess a better question would be, did you like ep. II? I thought it was terrible, far worse than ep. III.

Also, another thing I thought of that didn't make much sense was that the Master Jedis are supposedly the greatest Jedis in the universe, and yet every single one was easily dispatched by a few storm troopers or clones each. Hell, Anakin took out about four of him on his own! I understand, Anakin was particularly badass, but still.

One thing I did think was really cool, though, was how Yoda dispatched the Emperor's two guards toward the end. Really great moment, I thought.

Yes, I did cut and paste that Ep II dialouge. And I totally agree about Mark Hamill. Ever wonder why he hasn't been in anything since? I also agree about Ewan McGregor. He was possibly the best actor of the entire series, even more so than Alec McGuiness. He made you want to 'connect' with Obi-Wan, if that makes any sense.

Did I like Episode II? Parts were good, parts really sucked. I'm a 'big plot' kind of guy, and so I enjoyed seeing the plot unfold. The scenes on Kamino and Geonosis were enjoyable, and so was Anakin's time on Tatooine.

As far as the Jedi Master being taken out, I'm guessing that because the betrayal was so quick, they didn't have time to react - after all, they had been fighting with these clones/Stormtroopers for years at this point, and would trust them implicitly. Also, because "the Dark Side clouds everything," as Yoda says, they might not have had a chance to sense out the attack until just before it happened.
 
gop_jeff said:
Yes, I did cut and paste that Ep II dialouge. And I totally agree about Mark Hamill. Ever wonder why he hasn't been in anything since? I also agree about Ewan McGregor. He was possibly the best actor of the entire series, even more so than Alec McGuiness. He made you want to 'connect' with Obi-Wan, if that makes any sense.

Did I like Episode II? Parts were good, parts really sucked. I'm a 'big plot' kind of guy, and so I enjoyed seeing the plot unfold. The scenes on Kamino and Geonosis were enjoyable, and so was Anakin's time on Tatooine.

As far as the Jedi Master being taken out, I'm guessing that because the betrayal was so quick, they didn't have time to react - after all, they had been fighting with these clones/Stormtroopers for years at this point, and would trust them implicitly. Also, because "the Dark Side clouds everything," as Yoda says, they might not have had a chance to sense out the attack until just before it happened.


Oh, he was in something since. Ever heard of "Corvette Summer"? It was the crappiest movie in the universe. Somebody destroyed a classic Corvette for it to.

Check it out:
http://corvette.cabbagestew.com/

He was also a voice in "Wizards", this was before star wars.

He was Private Griff in "The Big Red One".

He was an "additional voice" in the Little Mermaid too. :D

Heck, here is a filmography, he has been in quite a bit. All of it crappy.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000434/#actor1970
 
Star Trek tng owns Star Wars
Jean Luc > Luke

stewart-patrick-photo-patrick-stewart-6203514.jpg
 

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