My mother is an alcoholic - is it right that I have to pay for her?

[Allied Partner]

Hi

As my thread title says, i have a specific ethic question.

I´m 40 years old now and I know my mother only being drunk or being in rehab. Because of her alcoholic "disease", two of my siblings committed suicide trials, one is in jail, another in a psychatric institution.

Now my mother took her last drink and is now in a home for retired people where she can´t get out anymore because she has alcoholic dementia and alzheimer.

I´m the onlies of 6 siblings who gained some kind of a "normal life" - even though i had a horrible childhood, including staying in children´s homes, staying at extremely violent foster parents etc..

Now I got a letter from the city my mother lives that I have to show my incomes and assets because I have to pay for the home of my mother.

What do you think about that? How is this arranged in the usa?

 

[California Girl]

Why do I smell old socks?

 

[Warrior102]

Hi

As my thread title says, i have a specific ethic question.

I´m 40 years old now and I know my mother only being drunk or being in rehab. Because of her alcoholic "disease", two of my siblings committed suicide trials, one is in jail, another in a psychatric institution.

Now my mother took her last drink and is now in a home for retired people where she can´t get out anymore because she has alcoholic dementia and alzheimer.

I´m the onlies of 6 siblings who gained some kind of a "normal life" - even though i had a horrible childhood, including staying in children´s homes, staying at extremely violent foster parents etc..

Now I got a letter from the city my mother lives that I have to show my incomes and assets because I have to pay for the home of my mother.

What do you think about that? How is this arranged in the usa?

She's in a home. Relax. Have a drink.

 

[Allied Partner]

Hi

As my thread title says, i have a specific ethic question.

I´m 40 years old now and I know my mother only being drunk or being in rehab. Because of her alcoholic "disease", two of my siblings committed suicide trials, one is in jail, another in a psychatric institution.

Now my mother took her last drink and is now in a home for retired people where she can´t get out anymore because she has alcoholic dementia and alzheimer.

I´m the onlies of 6 siblings who gained some kind of a "normal life" - even though i had a horrible childhood, including staying in children´s homes, staying at extremely violent foster parents etc..

Now I got a letter from the city my mother lives that I have to show my incomes and assets because I have to pay for the home of my mother.

What do you think about that? How is this arranged in the usa?

She's in a home. Relax. Have a drink.

Well, I have to pay nearly 400$ per month to the home. It´s hard to relax. And Thanks, I don´t drink at all.

 

[Grace]

I feel your pain. Good luck.

 

[Tank]

400 a month is cheap

 

[Grace]

Now that I have thought about it..maybe you should put on your coolest sneakers and make a run for it.

 

[Allied Partner]

400 a month is cheap

it´s not so much the question about cheap or expensive. I like to know if that´s right that I have to pay for her? Just on an ethical view. Well, whatever she has done, she s still my mother and it´s a biblial law to love the parents. But how far is this meant? Is it really infinite, what parents can do to their children? Do they have to love them always and forever?

 

[Zoom-boing]

And what happens to her if you don't comply?

 

[Warrior102]

Hi

As my thread title says, i have a specific ethic question.

I´m 40 years old now and I know my mother only being drunk or being in rehab. Because of her alcoholic "disease", two of my siblings committed suicide trials, one is in jail, another in a psychatric institution.

Now my mother took her last drink and is now in a home for retired people where she can´t get out anymore because she has alcoholic dementia and alzheimer.

I´m the onlies of 6 siblings who gained some kind of a "normal life" - even though i had a horrible childhood, including staying in children´s homes, staying at extremely violent foster parents etc..

Now I got a letter from the city my mother lives that I have to show my incomes and assets because I have to pay for the home of my mother.

What do you think about that? How is this arranged in the usa?

She's in a home. Relax. Have a drink.

Well, I have to pay nearly 400$ per month to the home. It´s hard to relax. And Thanks, I don´t drink at all.

$400?
Wow - that's great!
My Dad's average is $5K/month.
Thank goodness he has assisted living insurance. After the invoice, it's about $1K we owe. Incidenatals - his diapers, wipes, meals in the room, etc.
$400???
Wow - cheap.
Laughable.

 

[Big Black Dog]

The Bible says "Honor thy father and thy mother." It doesn't say anything about "Honor thy father and thy mother if they aren't drunks or worse." It says "Honor thy father and thy mother." The rest of it is up to you and your God and how you feel about the 10 Commandments.

 

[manifold]

Do you love her?

 

[chanel]

Do you think it is right that strangers pay for her?

 

[Immanuel]

If not you, who is going to pay for mom?

Do you think the citizens of Germany should pay for your mother?

Immie

 

[Truthmatters]

Hi

As my thread title says, i have a specific ethic question.

I´m 40 years old now and I know my mother only being drunk or being in rehab. Because of her alcoholic "disease", two of my siblings committed suicide trials, one is in jail, another in a psychatric institution.

Now my mother took her last drink and is now in a home for retired people where she can´t get out anymore because she has alcoholic dementia and alzheimer.

I´m the onlies of 6 siblings who gained some kind of a "normal life" - even though i had a horrible childhood, including staying in children´s homes, staying at extremely violent foster parents etc..

Now I got a letter from the city my mother lives that I have to show my incomes and assets because I have to pay for the home of my mother.

What do you think about that? How is this arranged in the usa?

I suspect this is all a ruse.

You are not legally responsible for her debts in ANY state in this union

 

[Immanuel]

Hi

As my thread title says, i have a specific ethic question.

I´m 40 years old now and I know my mother only being drunk or being in rehab. Because of her alcoholic "disease", two of my siblings committed suicide trials, one is in jail, another in a psychatric institution.

Now my mother took her last drink and is now in a home for retired people where she can´t get out anymore because she has alcoholic dementia and alzheimer.

I´m the onlies of 6 siblings who gained some kind of a "normal life" - even though i had a horrible childhood, including staying in children´s homes, staying at extremely violent foster parents etc..

Now I got a letter from the city my mother lives that I have to show my incomes and assets because I have to pay for the home of my mother.

What do you think about that? How is this arranged in the usa?

I suspect this is all a ruse.

You are not legally responsible for her debts in ANY state in this union

Most likely it is a ruse, but if you read the info on AP, it says he/she is from "Central Germany". What does "ANY state in this union" have to do with anything?

Immie

 

[Truthmatters]

Your right Immie, thank you.


I was wrong though , in certain states you are libel


The Legal Responsibility of Adult Children to Care for Indigent Parents | Publications | National Center for Policy Analysis | NCPA

 

[Immanuel]

Your right Immie, thank you.


I was wrong though , in certain states you are libel


The Legal Responsibility of Adult Children to Care for Indigent Parents | Publications | National Center for Policy Analysis | NCPA

No problemo.

Immie

 

[Granny]

I think circumstances vary. It's a difficult thing to have to make a decision of what to do. My Dad (God rest his soul) was an alcoholic. I think the greatest gift he gave to me was a very real appreciation for alcohol and what it can do to you - so I seldom drink. I enjoy a glass of wine or whatever, but I don't keep it in my house 24/7 because I don't rely on booze to get me through the day. I got a similar notice telling me what my contribution to his care would be. I was a single parent with three children and there was no way I could pay for his care. Fortunately, he was retired military and the Veteran's Administration and Social Security covered everything for him including full cost of his burial.

My mother, on the other hand, was not an alcoholic but I had a similar life with her as you described in your OP - and, of course, I have paid the consequences for her bad behavior. She dogged me till the day she died. Fortunately, she was too big a tightwad to part with any of her money to go into a nursing home. I have no idea how long she was sick - but she died at home alone with a caregiver - probably covered under her health insurance. No one in the family except a couple distant relatives and maybe two friends. I didn't see her or go to her funeral and none of my children went. I figured God let her die the way He intended - alone. It was several years after her death that I finally stopped being afraid of her.

Maybe you should check with your local elder care agencies to see if there are funds available for her care.

 

[Truthmatters]

Blows my mind.

there are people out there that have been beaten and raped by their parents and someone would make them pay for them?