my mother has stage 5 alzheimer's...learn with me...

[editec]

God bless you, Stroll.

What an emotional nightmare.

I pray every day that I drop over dead while still in (otherwise) perfect health.

If I learn that I'm likely to get so sick as to become a long term burden on my son (or society generally, which is much more likely) I hope I have enough guts to dispatch myself.

 

[AllieBaba]

Good job Bones! And what a relief your family opted out of spending more money on unnecessary squabbling. What a waste.

I've seen families invest years and hundreds of thousands of dollars fighting over children. I imagine it's the same with adults, though the custody battles I've seen were solely about power, very little about money (though they certainly fought about that as well). It's tragic and wasteful, and in the end nobody wins except the lawyers, who, honestly, are disgusted by the whole thing.

I'm blessed that I've never had to deal with such issues. And I don't think anyone is going to fight for custody of my mom. She made me so mad last week I was ready to strangle her, and I just can't see subjecting my kids to her on a full time basis.

Prayers for you, bones and congratulations for weathering this storm!

 

[JimH52]

Hang Tough Bones, and keep the faith. Such testing of our faith and hope is to be expected. God Bless!

 

[Annie]

yes she still goes downstairs....she was down to 5 ice creams yesterday so we went and got more..she insists she wants mac/cheese instead of mac salad...when in reality she eats mac salad....she has developed a taste for pricey breads...4 bucks a loaf....

i think she is beginning to realize how bad her memory is...she admits she cant really use her cell phone anymore....she knew how but as she says.....'she has forgotten'

while she was gone...they replaced the towel racks in her room...and i put in a new mattress and box springs and had a terrible chair removed...she didnt notice the chair being gone....so i mention that they have upgraded the towel racks and she goes 'and they took my damned chair' and put a headboard on the bed....etc...the headboard has always been there.....

and on the upside she wants to have lunch there....we have not figured that one out yet...if i call her and tell her i am coming by...she goes....make it after lunch okay?

I'm so sorry for all that has been happening. (((((hugs))))) Your mention of 'pricey breads' reminded me though of my mom after her strokes. Entering 1930 at 8 years old, saving money was always one of her chief goals in life, that and good real estate. After the strokes, she didn't care what the cost of clothes or food was, and she knew it! She'd tell my dad, "We're not taking it with us and the kids don't care how much or little is left."

Never a big eater, she never weighed more than 110 and only 65 when she died, she wanted shrimp, lobster, and Oberweis chocolate sodas as the mainstay of her diet. Once my dad tried to slip in a 31 Flavors soda, figuring she wouldn't notice. No dice.

Same with clothes. She'd always been petite and most anything looked good on her and she knew that. Mostly shopped at Marshall Field's sales and from Chadwick. Suddenly after the strokes, Ann Taylor and Nieman Marcus catalogs were like her bible.

I don't know where the clothes thing came from, but really think the food changes were just eating what she could. It was pretty weird though to hear her not talk about the cost of things.

 

[Baruch Menachem]

You can't take it with you, and kids are ungrateful.

 

[Annie]

You can't take it with you, and kids are ungrateful.

I agree about the not taking it with you. She was right about my brother and myself, we wanted them to do what they wanted. They did basically run through their estate, health care costs from staying with my brother and myself, the way they wanted. Private nursing was expensive, but worth it.

 

[Charles_Main]

Stage 5:
Moderately severe cognitive decline
(Moderate or mid-stage Alzheimer's disease)

Major gaps in memory and deficits in cognitive function emerge. Some assistance with day-to-day activities becomes essential. At this stage, individuals may:

•Be unable during a medical interview to recall such important details as their current address, their telephone number or the name of the college or high school from which they graduated

•Become confused about where they are or about the date, day of the week or season

•Have trouble with less challenging mental arithmetic; for example, counting backward from 40 by 4s or from 20 by 2s

•Need help choosing proper clothing for the season or the occasion

•Usually retain substantial knowledge about themselves and know their own name and the names of their spouse or children

•Usually require no assistance with eating or using the toilet


Stages of Alzheimer's

i placed my mother in an assisted living facilitiy....monday...this monday...it seems like an eternity...i cant remember the last day i didnt cry...but i digress...

my mother could no longer live alone...yet she insisted on driving...she totalled her car on april 22....i went down and stayed, i left 24 hours..she purchased a new car. i went down and moved her here. she was going to kill someone..she is half blind and has a lead foot...we think she may have had a stroke and then wrecked...we have doctors appointments beginning next week...she called me tuesday to tell me how much she enjoyed being kidnapped from her home and place in a the assisted living...that woman has a mean ass mouth...she can get over it...and she will...most days she is unaware of who i am..she think i am her sister.....which cause a bit of a confusion when her sister showed up...but she is falling under the "veil of alzheimer's" as they call it...i went to my first support group...and i plan on going to seminars on this disease...it is truly a disease from hell....you watch a loved one slip away....you realize that when she calls you someone else's name that it is best just to go along with it...she no longer knows me..it was like a switch...day to night...she knows my son, sometimes...and she blames me totally for putting her in the assisted living...which one lady at the support group told me that may never change...

i fully recommend looking into long term care insurance for your parents or yourself. it is expensive but it has helped me put her into a posh warehouse...

the questions, the paperwork...you need the following....last will....living will...health care form....and durable power of attorney...i am not giving legal advice here..just saying...you need a lot of info..try to gather that before the crisis hits...you need soc sec #, medicare, insurance etc. maybe you should photo copy all this to a file...that would have been nice...you need all the phone numbers etc...sure i have a file now..but its never where i am.

i have her in a top notch place...however she needs the "special" ward which is full....she is the only female on the waiting list...so she is in a stage 3 unit....and she is trying to take off..."wandering" is what it is called. we will discuss that later. so i have a private nurse there 12 hours a day...8 am to 8 pm..hopefully that wont be for much longer.

so here is my advice to all of yall with aging parents....read the site...watch them...and make plans for it...that is all you can do.

remember: yes, i knew this was coming....but it came on like an explosion ...there was no...you have time to think this over...i had to make a move and do it fast...that is where my ability as the 'nuts and bolts' person came into play...this is also where i realized how much more should have been done sooner...when she was of sound mind...but that is 20/20 hindsight.....learn from my mistakes....

next chapter: bonez gets her face cussed off by mother...(i hate doing that third person mal)

Sorry to hear it man. I feel you, dealing with my own Mothers medical problems myself.

I wish you and yours the best.

 

[American Horse]

Each week my wife (or both of us) spends about 6 hours driving to and returning from the town where her step father, an Alzheimer's victim, is being warehoused. She takes him something she knows he likes to eat, picking it up in nearby restaurants so it wil be hot, or she makes him something cold which she takes from home. She also takes along enough for treats for some others there who would like a chocolate bar, or a piece of a particular kind of pie, or desert they haven't had in their recent memory.

On a good day her step-father might ask one or all those questions only once in every 10 or 15 minutes: "where am I. . . why am I here . . . why doesn't my family (there're all passed away except his three daughters) come see me?" That's a really good day.

On more days than not he asks the first question "where am I" perhaps once every 90 seconds, repeatedly during her (or our) entire visit. It's a tough thing trying to bring up subjects to talk about with him to keep him from asking that or those other questions.

This is a man who weighs perhaps 260 pounds, is 84 years old, very healthy (strong heart, excellent blood pressure) and may well outlive the daughter who comes to visit him, sort out his clothes, see to his other needs like a razor, talcum, eye-glasses, and other things.

This is also a man, who all his life was very modest about things like nudity, who has not gone to a bathroom to pee or poop in at least three years, doing all that in his drawers, and requiring clean-up repeatedly during the day, which is performed by young women attendants.

 

[eots]

I am taking care of my wee ma now...she is 84 and has had a couple of mini strokes over this last year and has panic attacks now.. there are good days not so good days. fortunately my millionaire brothers are compensating me so I do not need to work full-time or it would be overwhelming.. I mostly just book and estimate now and oldest son and his side kick do most of the labor.. my daughter takes her out and gives me a break whenever she can.. I hope to have her pass at home with loved ones if at all possible..

 

[bigrebnc1775]

Stage 5:
Moderately severe cognitive decline
(Moderate or mid-stage Alzheimer's disease)

Major gaps in memory and deficits in cognitive function emerge. Some assistance with day-to-day activities becomes essential. At this stage, individuals may:

•Be unable during a medical interview to recall such important details as their current address, their telephone number or the name of the college or high school from which they graduated

•Become confused about where they are or about the date, day of the week or season

•Have trouble with less challenging mental arithmetic; for example, counting backward from 40 by 4s or from 20 by 2s

•Need help choosing proper clothing for the season or the occasion

•Usually retain substantial knowledge about themselves and know their own name and the names of their spouse or children

•Usually require no assistance with eating or using the toilet


Stages of Alzheimer's

i placed my mother in an assisted living facilitiy....monday...this monday...it seems like an eternity...i cant remember the last day i didnt cry...but i digress...

my mother could no longer live alone...yet she insisted on driving...she totalled her car on april 22....i went down and stayed, i left 24 hours..she purchased a new car. i went down and moved her here. she was going to kill someone..she is half blind and has a lead foot...we think she may have had a stroke and then wrecked...we have doctors appointments beginning next week...she called me tuesday to tell me how much she enjoyed being kidnapped from her home and place in a the assisted living...that woman has a mean ass mouth...she can get over it...and she will...most days she is unaware of who i am..she think i am her sister.....which cause a bit of a confusion when her sister showed up...but she is falling under the "veil of alzheimer's" as they call it...i went to my first support group...and i plan on going to seminars on this disease...it is truly a disease from hell....you watch a loved one slip away....you realize that when she calls you someone else's name that it is best just to go along with it...she no longer knows me..it was like a switch...day to night...she knows my son, sometimes...and she blames me totally for putting her in the assisted living...which one lady at the support group told me that may never change...

i fully recommend looking into long term care insurance for your parents or yourself. it is expensive but it has helped me put her into a posh warehouse...

the questions, the paperwork...you need the following....last will....living will...health care form....and durable power of attorney...i am not giving legal advice here..just saying...you need a lot of info..try to gather that before the crisis hits...you need soc sec #, medicare, insurance etc. maybe you should photo copy all this to a file...that would have been nice...you need all the phone numbers etc...sure i have a file now..but its never where i am.

i have her in a top notch place...however she needs the "special" ward which is full....she is the only female on the waiting list...so she is in a stage 3 unit....and she is trying to take off..."wandering" is what it is called. we will discuss that later. so i have a private nurse there 12 hours a day...8 am to 8 pm..hopefully that wont be for much longer.

so here is my advice to all of yall with aging parents....read the site...watch them...and make plans for it...that is all you can do.

remember: yes, i knew this was coming....but it came on like an explosion ...there was no...you have time to think this over...i had to make a move and do it fast...that is where my ability as the 'nuts and bolts' person came into play...this is also where i realized how much more should have been done sooner...when she was of sound mind...but that is 20/20 hindsight.....learn from my mistakes....

next chapter: bonez gets her face cussed off by mother...(i hate doing that third person mal)

God bless you and your family.