my mother has alzheimer's

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by strollingbones, Oct 1, 2009.

  1. strollingbones
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    strollingbones Diamond Member

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    my mother's doctor called me the other day...seems she lied totally...she cancelled the neuro appt...and HAS NOT been on meds....how she faked being better is beyond me...she did seem so much better...she has alzheimer's. I said it aloud for the first time today..she is on the aricept patch. i call her daily to remind her to put the damn thing on and take the old one off. i am not sure where i am right now...kinda in shock. not sure where to go from here...i am going to go see her and ask her..what do you want me to do...when push comes to shove..right now it sucks being an only child.

    so there i have said it....i am trying to make this real..my mother has alzheimer's and suddenly i feel like i have to grow up..i got no clue where i am going or what is gonna happen....all i know is i have to take care of my mother, that is all that really matters at this point...trying to get the meds to work so she can continue to live on her own as long as possible...and i know the meds are just a stop gap thing...that this is a progressive disease... her father had it.

    so i welcome any advice or guidance...sure i am terrified...the first day i just shut down...but i got to face this. i cant hide...and i sure the hell want to...i want to crawl inside somewhere safe and pretend this isnt happening...but it is...and i have to deal with it. i feel so inadequate.
     
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  2. Setarcos
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    Setarcos BANNED

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    Enjoy the time you have with her while you can

    that's all I can say
     
  3. Ravi
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    Ravi Diamond Member

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    Ah, I'm sorry to hear that...
     
  4. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    I'm so sorry, Bones. I may not be totally up to date with Alzheimer's, but last I knew a definitive diagnosis of it couldn't be given until autopsy? In any case, seems dementia of one type or another is evident. My mom didn't have Alzheimer's, but strokes caused dementia of a certain degree. I may be able to help you in dealing with it, pm me. It's very hard, but very worth it. I wish I'd reached out more when it started.

    Prayers are with you and her.
     
  5. Si modo
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    Si modo Diamond Member

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    Enjoy the lucid times.

    I'm sorry, Bones.

    It will be a very bumpy road, so make sure you make time for yourself with others.
     
  6. chanel
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    chanel Silver Member

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    I'm so.sorry Bones. I have a few friends that have gone thru it and it can be all-consuming. Try to get help for her. Is there a visiting nurses agency nearby?
     
  7. xotoxi
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    xotoxi Platinum Member

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    I'm sorry bones.

    Get her to take the med which may help slow the memory loss somewhat and keep her out of the home. I don't think that Aricept has a patch...maybe Excelon?

    I have never used that before...I use Aricept. Unless the patch is a once weekly patch, I would think it to be more difficult to remember changing a patch than it would be taking a pill out of a pill box.

    But best of luck. There really is no right or wrong answer other than to just make sure that she remains safe when at home and to keep in your mind that you have to be realistic when it is time for her to move on to a different living situation.

    My g-mother lived in her home with my aunt for a few years as her Alzheimers progressed. The stove was left on several times. The car was totalled. The final straw was when my aunt returned home to find grammy sitting out on the front steps of the house without a jacket in Massachusetts in February. And the door was unlocked.

    When things like that happen, you have to realize that it is time to change things, no matter how much you don't want to.
     
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  8. xotoxi
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    xotoxi Platinum Member

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    you are right about the diagnosis of Alzheimers. But studies have shown that most people with dementia have Alzheimers, and Alzheimers tends to follow a specific pattern of dementia - a gradual smooth decline of memory over time. Your mom likely had vascular dementia which usually has a series of rapid declines separated by periods of stability. Essentially, segments of the brain intermittently die due to lack of blood flow, causing downward steps.
     
  9. Ravi
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    Ravi Diamond Member

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    My granny had it too, she lived with my aunt for a few years and I used to go sit with her so my aunt could go out. Be practical...find out what her insurance covers and use it for in home help or whatever comes next. You probably are on her bank account, mortgage, etc...but if not, now is the time to do that.

    Jeesh, I wish I could give you a hug.
     
  10. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    I'm not that great at bio, but I understood enough to realize unlike Alzheimer's she was 'lucky' in being able to 'rewire' some of the synapses. She was so smart, well-read, and thirsted for knowledge her whole life. Where she once read 3 newspapers a day, towards the end it took here hours to read one. However, she could and insisted in discussing what she read. She couldn't handle money, but knew enough to know that she'd become quite the 'spendthrift' and told my dad he had the money and she now wanted to have what she wanted. LOL! She went for 'cheaper' catalogues, she hadn't lost that much. ;)

    She kept her sense of humor, though not necessarily with my dad. Her frustrations for the most part were taken out on him. She knew everyone from friends to family. Alzheimer's robs the victims and family of that.

    So, IMHO, there are differences, though dementia is part of both.
     

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