My girlfriend's X lives with her parents... what do I do?

[judyd]

The "boyfriend" should keep out of it. If the couple can make it work, for the sake of their child, that's what's important. Not the boyfriend's feelings.

But not the ex-husband has opened this thread on usmb.com but the current boyfriend. This was all about his perspective.

They all sound very young. Yes, the boyfriend started the thread, but he doesn't appear to be very experienced. I would say he's probably in his early 20's and has never been married himself or had children.

As I said previously, I believe the girl's parents are trying to help the guy out because they recognize he is very young and doesn't know which way to turn. You don't take in a son-in-law in his 30's or 40's, but you would take in one that is very young and doesn't have much going for him.

I believe the OP is out of line in trying to involve himself in the situation. I think the family--and whether he likes it or not, they are a family--is trying to manage a difficult situation the best that they can, and in the best interests of the child.

 

[Dark Starscream]

So I've been dating this girl for 3 months now. Her X-husband just moved back to Michigan from Wyoming, where he's been living the last 4 months. They have a son together, who has been living with her. He has no job, no car, and no home, so he lives with her parents... or just until he can "get on his feet." He is invited by her Mom and Dad to family get-togethers. He babysits her 3-year-old son, as well as her 3 other neices. He drives her car sometimes, as well as her Mom's car. She sees him everyday. Her son has intensely attached himself to him lately because he's been gone for so long.

This whole situation makes me very uncomfortable. I don't like the amount of time she sees him, or that he lives with her family. How long should I let this go on? He grew up right here, his Mom, Sister, and friends all live in the same town, but he and his Mom don't get along, she doesn't even know he's in town, or that he ever went to Wyoming. My feelings are... that's not her parents problem. But they love him, in spite of being a total loser. They feed him. He and she lived with her parents for a year, separated, before he moved to Wyoming. He has no girlfriend, and told her he envies me.

Does anyone else think this is wierd??? Any advice out there as to what she or I can do about this situation?

I would think that there's some heavy emotional baggage between them, and it sounds like her parents are on his side, maybe helping him scheme... I think you're the third wheel; you're the "outsider" in this situation.

/Dr. Phil

That's what my Mom said, I'm the outsider here. I'm also separated, and my Mom told me that she still loves my ex, and would give her a place to stay if she needed it, but she wouldn't push me to be with my ex. I don't know, it's confusing, I don't want to seem unreasonable, but it seems like if my girlfriend is divorcing her ex, then her family should too.

Her twin Sister is having a Thanksgiving dinner at her home. Her parents and her ex are invited. I can't go because I'm a retail manager, so my gf said she and her son are staying in town and not going. So just her ex and her parents are going... yeah.

 

[strollingbones]

whoa you are an adult who has been married...fuck me running......and you come on a damn message board to ask for love advice (pushing her thread history under the rug)

look we told ya...dump the bitch and move on....too much baggage...why take the hard road? are you always a patsy or what?

 

[Paulie]

My mother would probably give my son's mother a place to stay if she ever needed it, because she is my son's mother and that's the kind of thing mothers do.

 

[Luissa]

My parents would never give my child's father a place to stay.
They wouldn't even care if he was sleeping on the streets.

 

[strollingbones]

My mother would probably give my son's mother a place to stay if she ever needed it, because she is my son's mother and that's the kind of thing mothers do.

okay i understand and get this paulie...but would you get involved with a woman who was still having the ex around this much...or perhaps a woman with a lot of baggage...what is that old saying

3 rules of life

1. never eat at a place called 'mom's'

2. never play cards with a man called 'doc'

3. never fuck a person with more troubles than you


good guide to life if you ask me...and he ask

 

[Paulie]

My mother would probably give my son's mother a place to stay if she ever needed it, because she is my son's mother and that's the kind of thing mothers do.

okay i understand and get this paulie...but would you get involved with a woman who was still having the ex around this much...or perhaps a woman with a lot of baggage...what is that old saying

3 rules of life

1. never eat at a place called 'mom's'

2. never play cards with a man called 'doc'

3. never fuck a person with more troubles than you


good guide to life if you ask me...and he ask

If the ex was the father of her child, I don't really know how I would have much of a right to say anything about it.

It's not like the dude is living at THEIR house, it's just the mother's house.

He seems like he resents the guy for no other reason than his own insecurities, to me.

There's a permanent bond between the woman and the child's father. By 4 months into the relationship, he should have already known full well about this situation.

He had the chance to bounce before it got this deep, and didn't. He obviously likes this woman, but doesn't like that there's a situation that he doesn't have any control over, and it's making him insecure.

I think if the dude bounces, it's going to be for the wrong reasons.

 

[L.K.Eder]

twin sister, eh?

3some.

bgg.

paulie will approve of that version.

 

[Paulie]

twin sister, eh?

3some.

bgg.

paulie will approve of that version.

BGG's are nice