My girlfriend's X lives with her parents... what do I do?

[Dark Starscream]

So I've been dating this girl for 3 months now. Her X-husband just moved back to Michigan from Wyoming, where he's been living the last 4 months. They have a son together, who has been living with her. He has no job, no car, and no home, so he lives with her parents... or just until he can "get on his feet." He is invited by her Mom and Dad to family get-togethers. He babysits her 3-year-old son, as well as her 3 other neices. He drives her car sometimes, as well as her Mom's car. She sees him everyday. Her son has intensely attached himself to him lately because he's been gone for so long.

This whole situation makes me very uncomfortable. I don't like the amount of time she sees him, or that he lives with her family. How long should I let this go on? He grew up right here, his Mom, Sister, and friends all live in the same town, but he and his Mom don't get along, she doesn't even know he's in town, or that he ever went to Wyoming. My feelings are... that's not her parents problem. But they love him, in spite of being a total loser. They feed him. He and she lived with her parents for a year, separated, before he moved to Wyoming. He has no girlfriend, and told her he envies me.

Does anyone else think this is wierd??? Any advice out there as to what she or I can do about this situation?

 

[uscitizen]

Sounds like a new GF is needed.
This one is not in the clear yet.

 

[CrusaderFrank]

Sounds like your gf's parents are troublemakers.

You could play this a lot of different way, see if the local union will let you inflate on of their giant rats in front of the parents house, well maybe that's not a good idea.

 

[Douger]

Send a recruiter over.

 

[goldcatt]

Sounds like your gf's parents are troublemakers.

This.

And it's not going to change because you want it to. She probably couldn't change it if she wanted to. So are you OK with it staying this way? If not, get out now.

 

[xotoxi]

So I've been dating this girl for 3 months now. Her X-husband just moved back to Michigan from Wyoming, where he's been living the last 4 months. They have a son together, who has been living with her. He has no job, no car, and no home, so he lives with her parents... or just until he can "get on his feet." He is invited by her Mom and Dad to family get-togethers. He babysits her 3-year-old son, as well as her 3 other neices. He drives her car sometimes, as well as her Mom's car. She sees him everyday. Her son has intensely attached himself to him lately because he's been gone for so long.

This whole situation makes me very uncomfortable. I don't like the amount of time she sees him, or that he lives with her family. How long should I let this go on? He grew up right here, his Mom, Sister, and friends all live in the same town, but he and his Mom don't get along, she doesn't even know he's in town, or that he ever went to Wyoming. My feelings are... that's not her parents problem. But they love him, in spite of being a total loser. They feed him. He and she lived with her parents for a year, separated, before he moved to Wyoming. He has no girlfriend, and told her he envies me.

Does anyone else think this is wierd??? Any advice out there as to what she or I can do about this situation?

What I think is weird is that you are axing us about this.

What is even weirder is that you have 26 posts since Feb 2009.

 

[Sheldon]

So I've been dating this girl for 3 months now. Her X-husband just moved back to Michigan from Wyoming, where he's been living the last 4 months. They have a son together, who has been living with her. He has no job, no car, and no home, so he lives with her parents... or just until he can "get on his feet." He is invited by her Mom and Dad to family get-togethers. He babysits her 3-year-old son, as well as her 3 other neices. He drives her car sometimes, as well as her Mom's car. She sees him everyday. Her son has intensely attached himself to him lately because he's been gone for so long.

This whole situation makes me very uncomfortable. I don't like the amount of time she sees him, or that he lives with her family. How long should I let this go on? He grew up right here, his Mom, Sister, and friends all live in the same town, but he and his Mom don't get along, she doesn't even know he's in town, or that he ever went to Wyoming. My feelings are... that's not her parents problem. But they love him, in spite of being a total loser. They feed him. He and she lived with her parents for a year, separated, before he moved to Wyoming. He has no girlfriend, and told her he envies me.

Does anyone else think this is wierd??? Any advice out there as to what she or I can do about this situation?

The way you described it, it sounds like he's scheming to get back with her.

How long should you let it go on? I'm not sure you have a say in this. You've been dating her for 3 months; they used to be married and have a kid together. You can't force him to get a job and move out. You can't tell her parents who they let stay in their house. You can't tell him he can't see his kid as often. And if you tell her how about your concern with how often she sees him then she'll probably play the "you don't trust me" card, which has its own set of problems.



I would think that there's some heavy emotional baggage between them, and it sounds like her parents are on his side, maybe helping him scheme... I think you're the third wheel; you're the "outsider" in this situation.

This is probably not what you want to hear but... there's other fish out there. I think this one still has a hook in her mouth.

/Dr. Phil

 

[Paulie]

So I've been dating this girl for 3 months now. Her X-husband just moved back to Michigan from Wyoming, where he's been living the last 4 months. They have a son together, who has been living with her. He has no job, no car, and no home, so he lives with her parents... or just until he can "get on his feet." He is invited by her Mom and Dad to family get-togethers. He babysits her 3-year-old son, as well as her 3 other neices. He drives her car sometimes, as well as her Mom's car. She sees him everyday. Her son has intensely attached himself to him lately because he's been gone for so long.

This whole situation makes me very uncomfortable. I don't like the amount of time she sees him, or that he lives with her family. How long should I let this go on? He grew up right here, his Mom, Sister, and friends all live in the same town, but he and his Mom don't get along, she doesn't even know he's in town, or that he ever went to Wyoming. My feelings are... that's not her parents problem. But they love him, in spite of being a total loser. They feed him. He and she lived with her parents for a year, separated, before he moved to Wyoming. He has no girlfriend, and told her he envies me.

Does anyone else think this is wierd??? Any advice out there as to what she or I can do about this situation?

The way you described it, it sounds like he's scheming to get back with her.

How long should you let it go on? I'm not sure you have a say in this. You've been dating her for 3 months; they used to be married and have a kid together. You can't force him to get a job and move out. You can't tell her parents who they let stay in their house. You can't tell him he can't see his kid as often. And if you tell her how about your concern with how often she sees him then she'll probably play the "you don't trust me" card, which has its own set of problems.



I would think that there's some heavy emotional baggage between them, and it sounds like her parents are on his side, maybe helping him scheme... I think you're the third wheel; you're the "outsider" in this situation.

This is probably not what you want to hear but... there's other fish out there. I think this one still has a hook in her mouth.

/Dr. Phil

I wanna bang your wife, Dr Phil.

 

[Sallow]

So I've been dating this girl for 3 months now. Her X-husband just moved back to Michigan from Wyoming, where he's been living the last 4 months. They have a son together, who has been living with her. He has no job, no car, and no home, so he lives with her parents... or just until he can "get on his feet." He is invited by her Mom and Dad to family get-togethers. He babysits her 3-year-old son, as well as her 3 other neices. He drives her car sometimes, as well as her Mom's car. She sees him everyday. Her son has intensely attached himself to him lately because he's been gone for so long.

This whole situation makes me very uncomfortable. I don't like the amount of time she sees him, or that he lives with her family. How long should I let this go on? He grew up right here, his Mom, Sister, and friends all live in the same town, but he and his Mom don't get along, she doesn't even know he's in town, or that he ever went to Wyoming. My feelings are... that's not her parents problem. But they love him, in spite of being a total loser. They feed him. He and she lived with her parents for a year, separated, before he moved to Wyoming. He has no girlfriend, and told her he envies me.

Does anyone else think this is wierd??? Any advice out there as to what she or I can do about this situation?

You might want to keep things a little on the light side until this is resolved. See her and other people.

 

[Paulie]

The kid's father and your girlfriend have a bond forever, from having a child. There's nothing you can do to change that, nor should you.

What this dude's personal life is like is really none of your business.

You seem insecure in your own relationship. Let the guy's own lack of accomplishment in life be his own downfall, and continue being the guy your girlfriend has fallen for.

If you're threatened by a grown man who lives with his ex's parents, then you have bigger problems then just this relationship.

 

[random3434]

Wow, a guy with no job, no car and no place to live!


WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








I bet he has chicks all over him, so no worries dude!

 

[Wry Catcher]

If you really care for your new GF, and see a life together - make friends with her Ex. Women are attracted to men who are secure, showing insecurity is not putting your best forward.
You didn't mention how your new GF feels about this situation, has she spoken with you about your feelings, and hers?
From personal experience I learned that the mother of a former GF of mine liked me better than she liked her daughter. One afternoon she said to me, "the best thing that could happen to my daughter is to marry you, that would be the worst thing for you".
My former GF and I are still friends, over 40 years later. I've never mentioned this brief conversation to her, even though her mother passed away years ago, for it would serve no purpose. But the candor of this comment gave me pause, and opened my eyes to some traits of character which would not have served us well over the years.
My advice, keep you mouth shut, your eyes open and listen carefully.

 

[Sheldon]

So I've been dating this girl for 3 months now. Her X-husband just moved back to Michigan from Wyoming, where he's been living the last 4 months. They have a son together, who has been living with her. He has no job, no car, and no home, so he lives with her parents... or just until he can "get on his feet." He is invited by her Mom and Dad to family get-togethers. He babysits her 3-year-old son, as well as her 3 other neices. He drives her car sometimes, as well as her Mom's car. She sees him everyday. Her son has intensely attached himself to him lately because he's been gone for so long.

This whole situation makes me very uncomfortable. I don't like the amount of time she sees him, or that he lives with her family. How long should I let this go on? He grew up right here, his Mom, Sister, and friends all live in the same town, but he and his Mom don't get along, she doesn't even know he's in town, or that he ever went to Wyoming. My feelings are... that's not her parents problem. But they love him, in spite of being a total loser. They feed him. He and she lived with her parents for a year, separated, before he moved to Wyoming. He has no girlfriend, and told her he envies me.

Does anyone else think this is wierd??? Any advice out there as to what she or I can do about this situation?

The way you described it, it sounds like he's scheming to get back with her.

How long should you let it go on? I'm not sure you have a say in this. You've been dating her for 3 months; they used to be married and have a kid together. You can't force him to get a job and move out. You can't tell her parents who they let stay in their house. You can't tell him he can't see his kid as often. And if you tell her how about your concern with how often she sees him then she'll probably play the "you don't trust me" card, which has its own set of problems.



I would think that there's some heavy emotional baggage between them, and it sounds like her parents are on his side, maybe helping him scheme... I think you're the third wheel; you're the "outsider" in this situation.

This is probably not what you want to hear but... there's other fish out there. I think this one still has a hook in her mouth.

/Dr. Phil

I wanna bang your wife, Dr Phil.

No family, notherfukker!

 

[uscitizen]

If you really care for your new GF, and see a life together - make friends with her Ex. Women are attracted to men who are secure, showing insecurity is not putting your best forward.
You didn't mention how your new GF feels about this situation, has she spoken with you about your feelings, and hers?
From personal experience I learned that the mother of a former GF of mine liked me better than she liked her daughter. One afternoon she said to me, "the best thing that could happen to my daughter is to marry you, that would be the worst thing for you".
My former GF and I are still friends, over 40 years later. I've never mentioned this brief conversation to her, even though her mother passed away years ago, for it would serve no purpose. But the candor of this comment gave me pause, and opened my eyes to some traits of character which would not have served us well over the years.
My advice, keep you mouth shut, your eyes open and listen carefully.

Good advice, however hormones seen to dim vision and hearing.

 

[Sheldon]

Wow, a guy with no job, no car and no place to live!


WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








I bet he has chicks all over him, so no worries dude!

That's an excellent point, about obviously being a pussy magnet.

No job, so that means he's not a materialistic person trying to chase money. No car, which means he cares for Mother Nature and keeping the air pure of toxins. And lives with parents, which means he places emphasis on family values and community.

Yep.

 

[AquaAthena]

In all affairs of life, at every moment, we have a choice. Your choice should be to depart those dysfunctional circumstances immediately. Think highly of yourself and know that your happiness in life will largely be based upon your choices.

 

[Madeline]

Speaking as the Mommy of a marriage-age daughter, I can say IMO, this is a form of emotional terrorism by the girflriend's parents. I doubt this is the first time they have had severe boundary issues, and I can assure you, it will not be the last. Unless the girlfriend demonstrates (with actions, not words) her own willingness to reject gross manipulation, passive aggressive behavior and emotional blackmail and she herself creates a livable situation for you two, I say mark her ass "condemned". This woman's soul is being eaten before your very eyes by her parents....there will not be enough left over for you.

BTW, IMO this is also a form of emotional abuse of that toddler. And people *wonder* how we manage to raise so many serial killers.

 

[L.K.Eder]

3some

 

[Paulie]

3some

BBG?

That's gay.

 

[Madeline]

3some

BBG?

That's gay.

Selfish, selfish, selfish.......