Currently, down in the darkest corner of my basement, I am working on my secret invention that is going to change the way we think of energy. It will most certainly put us in the position that we will no longer be held hostage by middle-eastern oil. I will share my project with you but I will not tell you the secrets to what makes it actually work. I will get the patent and make millions of dollars. What is this fabulous new invention you ask? Well, just to give you an idea, it's a device that allows farmers to collect cow farts and turn them into methane gas that we can use for fuel. It is my guess that once this device hits the market and becomes widely used by everyone, the price of cows will skyrocket. Be sure to buy lots of spring calfs this year because I'm releasing my new product in March! Oh, I hope this doesn't sound like bullshit to you!