My Death by Proxy

Discussion in 'Writing' started by tinydancer, May 14, 2011.

  1. tinydancer
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    tinydancer Diamond Member

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    Chapter One:EDIT TO ADD THIS IS FICTION well with the exception of my dead dogs I just thought I'd try to write a murder mystery and have a go at it.

    My husband has been trying to kill me. Problem is, he is inept. He's just killed everything around me.

    I am still alive. I didn't even see this coming. But I know now. Man I must be dense. And I'm going to put it on record.

    Did I miss how he was glowingly talking about his new young secretary and how much she liked the tunes he was playing on his computer at work? How out of the blue he brings home a new vitamin that he swears someone at work uses that you can just put drops in your food or coffee? And you get healthier, but all of a sudden I notice that I'm losing a lot of hair?

    That he's been rushing to get the mail in the car, instead of letting me walk to get it.

    Note to self: call insurance agent
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2011
  2. tinydancer
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    tinydancer Diamond Member

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    Chapter Two:

    I must be dense. The time lines are going to be fuzzy. I'm so heartbroken at the loss of my dogs.

    They are buried at the back of our property. I think it was about 3 weeks ago when my first dog went down. For the life of me I couldn't understand it. I thought she was coming into heat and it was pyrometra. She dropped so fast.

    I thought I really screwed up. I couldn't get her to the vets. My baby went down.
    I have to be a moron. He'd made me a home made pizza, even bought a "special" ingredient from Sarto. My fave. Mild hot pepper but very flavorful.. But I wasn't feeling well so I let the dog have my pizza.

    Well she died.

    My husband was horrified. But instead of running to the veterinarian, he went to dig a grave.

    Oh this gets better. I must really be dense.
     
  3. tinydancer
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    tinydancer Diamond Member

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    Chapter Three:

    Is this what arsenic does? I swear to the good Lord, I look like I've aged 20 years when I look in the mirror.

    Oil of Olay is not going to help at this moment.

    What I wonder, because last night he flipped out and started punching everything out around the house, why not just ask for a divorce? Why kill me?

    It's almost the funny part. He hasn't been able to murder me and he's pissed off about it. He screws up, I'm still alive, two dogs dead, he's done a lot of digging and HE IS ANGRY.

    Come on. That's funny.
     
  4. tinydancer
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    tinydancer Diamond Member

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    Chapter Four:

    This is how I started connecting the dots.

    Aye carumba. I'd already started to dump all my coffee. All my crystal lites that he made me.
    This is crazy. But this has been my life to date. I really think finally my instincts were kicking in.

    He made another home made pizza. I'm still distraught over my other dog, so I'm not paying attention.

    Guess what happened?
     
  5. tinydancer
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    tinydancer Diamond Member

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    Chapter Five:

    I had to stop posting for a bit, because he came out to take a leak, and he is so volatile now, I just pretended I was reading Google News.

    So I obviously wasn't completely getting it. I gave my older girl my pizza crust. He screamed and then ran in to my boy in the kitchen (I've crated my dogs but not a worry I had them out most of the time and I personally walked them each hours and hours a day.) and then out of the blue he starts giving the pizza to my younger dog.

    Another dead dog.
     
  6. RadiomanATL
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    RadiomanATL Senior Member

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    I think now is a good time for you to quit the drugs.
     
  7. Colin
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    Colin Gold Member

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    If you give me his cellphone number, I'll text him some tips on how to finish the job quickly.
     
  8. tinydancer
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    tinydancer Diamond Member

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    Chapter Six:

    So he's in the bedroom sleeping with our foundation bitch. I don't think he'll kill her, he's still aiming for me.

    But obviously, he's a screw up. Every one of my babies is nervous at this point. Anyone can go down at any moment.

    And I'm typing my story on a message board, with three cats looking at me going "mommy what are we going to do?"

    And I'm looking them square in the eye, well six eyes because there are three cats,

    "you know what Jack Burton always does at a time like this?"

    "mommy who's Jack Burton?"

    "Jack Burton? have you been in the litter box when mommy plays this movie?"

    When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if you paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that:

    "Have you paid your dues, Jack? Yessir, the check is in the mail."


    That's what it's all about my kitty kats.

    :eusa_angel:

    It's amazing what you can dream up on NyQuil.
     
  9. tinydancer
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    tinydancer Diamond Member

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    The Mighty Q. NyQuil. Bad cold.

    Really did lose two dogs in less than two weeks. Really do have them buried at the back of the property.

    It's been a really bad two weeks. This was my way of letting out my pain.

    yours,

    td
     
  10. tinydancer
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    tinydancer Diamond Member

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    He hasn't been able to pull it off to date. :eusa_angel:lol.

    But I do have two dead dogs buried in two weeks at the back of my property. Two beloved ones.

    When they were birthed into this world, I pulled the placentas off their bodies. My girl was so tired. 13 babies.

    I decided to come up with a murder mystery for fun. It's been really a very long two weeks.

    yours,

    td
     

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