Mothers' Day and "Fur Babies"

[Cecilie1200]

It also reveals their true belief that humans, and children, are nothing more than disposable animals, there for their enjoyment and at their leisure.

This is pretty close to home, actually. Look at this quote from DrunkCatLady:

"I am a fur mommy and my fur baby means as much to me as any child from my body.
My fur baby is better than children. My fur baby won't answer back, get an attitude or have a moment when I am not loved and respected."

I mean, one of two things is happening here (or possibly both). Either she really thinks that REAL mothers love and value their children for how pleasant they are and how much they enhance HER existence, or she's admitting that OF COURSE she doesn't love her pets as much as a child, because maternal love involves self-sacrifice and putting the child ahead of one's own desires and convenience. Pets are about what you get out of having them around; motherhood is about what THEY get from having YOU around.

 

[del]

Well, another Mothers' Day has come and gone, and yet again my social media has exploded with benighted yahoos blathering on about "I'm a mother too; my pets are my children" and "Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there (fur babies count too!)", etc. ad nauseam.

May I interject a little curmudgeonly reality here (I won't say "Can I" because I think we all know I'm fully capable of it)? Leaving aside the sickeningly cutesy-poo label of "fur babies" for a moment, let me just state this categorically: they are not "your children". They are pets. And you are a pet owner, not a mother. As an ACTUAL mother, I am out of patience with pretending not to be offended by softheaded dimwits trying to draw an equivalency between my relationship with my children and theirs with their cat, dog, [fill in the fuzzy lower lifeform here].

We celebrate Mothers' Day for a reason. Being a mother is a huge, complicated, often-painful, lifelong undertaking. You bring forth an actual human being from your own body, through your blood, sweat, and pain (or, in the case of adoptive mothers, you take on the responsibilities of a child who has no one else in the world through an expensive, emotionally-agonizing legal process which typically takes far longer than an actual pregnancy does). If you're any kind of decent mother, that little human being becomes more important to you than anything else in the world, including yourself. You feel more joy at their accomplishments than you ever have at your own, you bleed inside every time they're hurt, you rearrange your entire existence around their care and nurturing. And if, God forbid, they die before you do, you carry that heartbreak with you every day forever.

We don't celebrate Pet Owners Day (or "Fur Mommies Day", if you insist) for a reason. You spend a half-hour to an hour filling out paperwork (maybe more, if the animal is pedigreed), hand over some cash, and ta daaah! You buy some food and toys, take them to the veterinarian once in a while, and you pet them while you watch TV. One assumes that you get upset if they get sick or injured (I'd certainly like to believe no one here is so heartless as to not care), but if you really believe it compares to the tortures of the damned experienced by actual parents of actual children who are in the hospital, you're delusional. And WHEN they die before you do (because pets generally have a significantly shorter lifespan than humans), you cry and feel sad and depressed (again, one hopes), and then you eventually get another pet.

Know how I know "fur babies" aren't the equivalent of children? Ask yourself what your reaction would be if your dog was diagnosed with metastasized cancer. Would you go hundreds of thousands of dollars into debt for chemo or radiation therapy and multiple operations to extend his life? Or would you have the vet put him to sleep? Now ask yourself the same question if your child was diagnosed with the same cancer.

"Fur mommies" are basically just trying to horn in on the attention and adulation being handed out, without making the commitment. Let's just state that baldly. They want the status without putting in the work. And I am tired of hearing it. No, your "babies" are not just like my children; none of MY children have ever sat in the middle of the living room floor with company over and licked their own genitals, all right?

tissue?

 

[Gracie]

Animals, pets, fur babies can be and are just as important in many peoples lives, as human babies"

Again I say, no they can't.

To some, yes they can. And are. Why does it upset you so much?

 

[Gracie]

So what if people call their pets furkids? I do it all the time. Comparing what is supposed to be love from one being towards another is like trying to say Hershey bar is better than M&Ms...then to complain about it is just as silly.

You want to talk about silly, equating pet ownership with motherhood, and THEN comparing that nonsense equivalency with the difference between one candy bar and another.

I devoutly hope you don't have any children, if you really think mothering is just like owning a dog. But hey, at least they'd be able to sit, stay, and fetch on command.

You are rude. Why?

 

[koshergrl]

Animals, pets, fur babies can be and are just as important in many peoples lives, as human babies"

Again I say, no they can't.

To some, yes they can. And are. Why does it upset you so much?

Then they are mentally ill, and shouldn't have children or pets, and should probably be institutionalized.

 

[Cecilie1200]

I gag when some schmuck drags out their wallet to show pics of their kids and grandkids. So...ok. Whatever floats a boat.

Hey, I don't necessarily want to see them, either. But they still deserve more credit and respect than to be equated with someone who dropped $50 at the Humane Society and now thinks she's the frigging Madonna complete with halo.

So who are you to judge on what constitutes love?

Just a rational human being who keeps being asked to smile and nod at increasingly irrational nonsense.

Free country, hon. I'm allowed to hold any opinion I want, and to express it as I please. No one's making you read it, respond to it, or agree with it.

Agreed. But..you started the thread and its your complaint. If you did not want differing opinions..perhaps you should have sent the OP to yourself in an email so you could agree with yourself?
I get what you are saying. I do. But you refuse to get what others are saying. To ME, personally, my dog IS like my child due to the fact I take care of its needs. That might make you want to barf, but oh well. Seeing people dress up their little dogs in people clothes makes me want to barf too, but I don't start threads about it and then get upset or indignant when those who do such things post their own opinions about why they do it.

Who said I didn't want differing opinions? Feel free to argue away, but don't expect me not to cut you off at the knees when you start that "who are you to say that?"

Oh, I get what you're saying. And I categorically reject it as bullshit. "Taking care of its needs" - and by the way, would you refer to your child as "it"? Do you not know your dog's sex? - does not make the dog "like a child". I take care of my CAR'S needs, but I wouldn't expect to be honored on Mothers' Day because my Jeep is my "wheel baby". Taking care of your pet's needs means that you're his/her pet owner, and you're a responsible pet owner. Parenthood is a hell of a lot more than merely throwing the kid some kibble and a chew toy and taking it for a walk a couple times a day. Sheesh.

Furthermore, I didn't start a thread about how much I hate it when people dress their dogs up in clothes (although I will say now that I want to barf when people kiss their dogs on the lips. Just . . . no). I started a thread specifically about how I'm done with being expected to equate pet ownership with motherhood, and smile and nod and not be offended when such ludicrous comparisons are trotted out in all seriousness.

Do whatever retarded thing you want to do as a pet owner. But if you tell me your pet is just like my child, expect to get the verbal flaying any sane, rational person would see coming when making such an insulting statement.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Well, another Mothers' Day has come and gone, and yet again my social media has exploded with benighted yahoos blathering on about "I'm a mother too; my pets are my children" and "Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there (fur babies count too!)", etc. ad nauseam.

May I interject a little curmudgeonly reality here (I won't say "Can I" because I think we all know I'm fully capable of it)? Leaving aside the sickeningly cutesy-poo label of "fur babies" for a moment, let me just state this categorically: they are not "your children". They are pets. And you are a pet owner, not a mother. As an ACTUAL mother, I am out of patience with pretending not to be offended by softheaded dimwits trying to draw an equivalency between my relationship with my children and theirs with their cat, dog, [fill in the fuzzy lower lifeform here].

We celebrate Mothers' Day for a reason. Being a mother is a huge, complicated, often-painful, lifelong undertaking. You bring forth an actual human being from your own body, through your blood, sweat, and pain (or, in the case of adoptive mothers, you take on the responsibilities of a child who has no one else in the world through an expensive, emotionally-agonizing legal process which typically takes far longer than an actual pregnancy does). If you're any kind of decent mother, that little human being becomes more important to you than anything else in the world, including yourself. You feel more joy at their accomplishments than you ever have at your own, you bleed inside every time they're hurt, you rearrange your entire existence around their care and nurturing. And if, God forbid, they die before you do, you carry that heartbreak with you every day forever.

We don't celebrate Pet Owners Day (or "Fur Mommies Day", if you insist) for a reason. You spend a half-hour to an hour filling out paperwork (maybe more, if the animal is pedigreed), hand over some cash, and ta daaah! You buy some food and toys, take them to the veterinarian once in a while, and you pet them while you watch TV. One assumes that you get upset if they get sick or injured (I'd certainly like to believe no one here is so heartless as to not care), but if you really believe it compares to the tortures of the damned experienced by actual parents of actual children who are in the hospital, you're delusional. And WHEN they die before you do (because pets generally have a significantly shorter lifespan than humans), you cry and feel sad and depressed (again, one hopes), and then you eventually get another pet.

Know how I know "fur babies" aren't the equivalent of children? Ask yourself what your reaction would be if your dog was diagnosed with metastasized cancer. Would you go hundreds of thousands of dollars into debt for chemo or radiation therapy and multiple operations to extend his life? Or would you have the vet put him to sleep? Now ask yourself the same question if your child was diagnosed with the same cancer.

"Fur mommies" are basically just trying to horn in on the attention and adulation being handed out, without making the commitment. Let's just state that baldly. They want the status without putting in the work. And I am tired of hearing it. No, your "babies" are not just like my children; none of MY children have ever sat in the middle of the living room floor with company over and licked their own genitals, all right?

Changing the definition of *mother* like they change the definition of *life* and *rights* and *freedom* and *marriage*.

It's to lend credibility to their delusional and depraved lifestyles.

I can't say I think of my pets as their mother. I think of them as my best friends. And remember..just because a woman can give birth...that does not make her a mother if she sucks at it.

But she's still put more into it than trotting down to the pet store and handing over her credit card.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Sorry, Granny, but you need to put a check on your eagerness to be offended, at least long enough to comprehend what's being said.

I don't give a rat's fat ass if someone wants to call herself a "fur mommy", so long as they don't mind me gagging a little. So I have no need to "get over myself" about telling them not to, since I didn't.

Furthermore, I never said anything about whether or not "mothers are just as fucked up as anyone else", although your blanket cynicism tells us nothing about motherhood, and everything about you and your childhood, and perhaps you should share it with a therapist who at least gets paid to listen to you drivel on.

Perhaps you could try directing your "I must take offense and contradict NO MATTER WHAT!" at something I actually said. Just a suggestion.

you need to put a check on your eagerness to be offended
You're the one who just wrote a lengthy rant about being offended, not me. I said I wasn't offended. I speak from experience, as both a mother and a grandmother and of course a daughter, and it wasn't cynical so much as true. The biological outcome of repeated sexual encounters doesn't make us anything special.

Yes, but unlike you, I wrote it AFTER thinking very carefully about what I wanted to say and whether or not I wanted to say it, AND I actually managed to address the salient points. You, on the other hand, blathered on about irrelevancies unrelated to anything actually said. You may "speak from experience", but you're not speaking ABOUT THE TOPIC.

Also, please note that I was pretty clear that motherhood doesn't stop with pushing the kid out. The motherhood of which I spoke - the motherhood we celebrate on Mothers' Day - is all about the commitment, which DOES make one special, and which is NOT comparable to having a pet, no matter how much you spoil the little ankle biter.

You're shadow boxing. I'll leave you to it.

I just heard "I thought I could wander in and take over, and instead I got my ass handed to me."

Why, oh why, do I check back on these nutcase threads?

"I thought I could wander in and take over,"
Is that what you think of anyone who dares reply to your threads, or is it just me and my threatening 9 lines over three posts? Actually, that is exactly the attitude of yours that I was responding to in the first place. Arrogance galore. I'll leave it there since we are in a polite forum (your own behavior to the contrary).

No, Chuckles, that's just what I think of people who feel compelled to join threads for the purpose of stating how stupid they are, and then start excoriating people for things they didn't say and points that they didn't make, because they didn't bother to comprehend the topic before spouting off.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Animals, pets, fur babies can be and are just as important in many peoples lives, as human babies"

Again I say, no they can't.

To some, yes they can. And are. Why does it upset you so much?

Same reason any asinine behavior in our society upsets me: because they're dumb enough to say it to my face and expect me to validate it.

My rule has always been, "If you don't want the honest truth, what the fuck are you talking to ME for?"

Let's just stop for a second. Are you actually, SERIOUSLY asking me why I'm upset and offended at having my children compared to a dog? I mean, just let that play through your mind for a second, and really hear it. You are asking me why I'm offended at people comparing my children to a dog.

 

[Cecilie1200]

So what if people call their pets furkids? I do it all the time. Comparing what is supposed to be love from one being towards another is like trying to say Hershey bar is better than M&Ms...then to complain about it is just as silly.

You want to talk about silly, equating pet ownership with motherhood, and THEN comparing that nonsense equivalency with the difference between one candy bar and another.

I devoutly hope you don't have any children, if you really think mothering is just like owning a dog. But hey, at least they'd be able to sit, stay, and fetch on command.

You are rude. Why?

Is this the first time you've ever encountered me? How is this a newsflash?

 

[Gracie]

I am not here to argue. Do continue on with yourself.

 

[koshergrl]

I gag when some schmuck drags out their wallet to show pics of their kids and grandkids. So...ok. Whatever floats a boat.

Hey, I don't necessarily want to see them, either. But they still deserve more credit and respect than to be equated with someone who dropped $50 at the Humane Society and now thinks she's the frigging Madonna complete with halo.

So who are you to judge on what constitutes love?

Just a rational human being who keeps being asked to smile and nod at increasingly irrational nonsense.

Free country, hon. I'm allowed to hold any opinion I want, and to express it as I please. No one's making you read it, respond to it, or agree with it.

Agreed. But..you started the thread and its your complaint. If you did not want differing opinions..perhaps you should have sent the OP to yourself in an email so you could agree with yourself?
I get what you are saying. I do. But you refuse to get what others are saying. To ME, personally, my dog IS like my child due to the fact I take care of its needs. That might make you want to barf, but oh well. Seeing people dress up their little dogs in people clothes makes me want to barf too, but I don't start threads about it and then get upset or indignant when those who do such things post their own opinions about why they do it.

Yeah, I can see bows in a Pekinese and it's kinda cute, but when I saw nail polish on it's claws, I had to walk away......Oh good grief

We have a large pit bull. He has been with us since he was weaned, which is 11? 12? years now.

My son didn't get him neutered during the time he had him. When he came to live permanently with me I made the appointment.

I came home from work to pick him up and he was in the middle of the living room laying on his belly, surrounded by about 5 giggling girls. He had green sparkly nail polish on his toes.

I took him to the vet's office, and apologized for his ridiculous appearance.

"No we like to see that," the girls said. "It means he's not going to try to kill us." HAHAHHAA
I dunno I thought it was funny.

See, I wouldn't get any of my sons neutered.

But I will neuter my dogs. That's one difference right there.

 

[Cecilie1200]

I am not here to argue. Do continue on with yourself.

Really? You're on THIS message board because you don't want to argue?

 

[Cecilie1200]

Hey, I don't necessarily want to see them, either. But they still deserve more credit and respect than to be equated with someone who dropped $50 at the Humane Society and now thinks she's the frigging Madonna complete with halo.

So who are you to judge on what constitutes love?

Just a rational human being who keeps being asked to smile and nod at increasingly irrational nonsense.

Free country, hon. I'm allowed to hold any opinion I want, and to express it as I please. No one's making you read it, respond to it, or agree with it.

Agreed. But..you started the thread and its your complaint. If you did not want differing opinions..perhaps you should have sent the OP to yourself in an email so you could agree with yourself?
I get what you are saying. I do. But you refuse to get what others are saying. To ME, personally, my dog IS like my child due to the fact I take care of its needs. That might make you want to barf, but oh well. Seeing people dress up their little dogs in people clothes makes me want to barf too, but I don't start threads about it and then get upset or indignant when those who do such things post their own opinions about why they do it.

Yeah, I can see bows in a Pekinese and it's kinda cute, but when I saw nail polish on it's claws, I had to walk away......Oh good grief

We have a large pit bull. He has been with us since he was weaned, which is 11? 12? years now.

My son didn't get him neutered during the time he had him. When he came to live permanently with me I made the appointment.

I came home from work to pick him up and he was in the middle of the living room laying on his belly, surrounded by about 5 giggling girls. He had green sparkly nail polish on his toes.

I took him to the vet's office, and apologized for his ridiculous appearance.

"No we like to see that," the girls said. "It means he's not going to try to kill us." HAHAHHAA
I dunno I thought it was funny.

See, I wouldn't get any of my sons neutered.

But I will neuter my dogs. That's one difference right there.

Pit bulls as a breed are actually big ol' softies. It's a damned shame they get such a bad rap because of the way lousy humans misuse and abuse them. Way back when, I worked in the pet care industry, and I much preferred seeing pit bulls to - for example - cocker spaniels, which would snap at you as soon as look at you. And don't even get me started on Chihuahuas.

My current dog is a Golden Retriever named Malcolm. He's an absolute sweetie pie, and I adore him. That being said, if I had to choose between him and my son, Malcolm would be out the door without another thought.

My last dog was a Keeshond named Rembrandt. I had him for 12 years. He had a stroke, and the resulting brain damage crippled his entire back end. I had him put to sleep. I can assure you that that would not be my reaction if my son, God forbid, sustained brain damage that paralyzed his lower body.

 

[OldLady]

you need to put a check on your eagerness to be offended
You're the one who just wrote a lengthy rant about being offended, not me. I said I wasn't offended. I speak from experience, as both a mother and a grandmother and of course a daughter, and it wasn't cynical so much as true. The biological outcome of repeated sexual encounters doesn't make us anything special.

Yes, but unlike you, I wrote it AFTER thinking very carefully about what I wanted to say and whether or not I wanted to say it, AND I actually managed to address the salient points. You, on the other hand, blathered on about irrelevancies unrelated to anything actually said. You may "speak from experience", but you're not speaking ABOUT THE TOPIC.

Also, please note that I was pretty clear that motherhood doesn't stop with pushing the kid out. The motherhood of which I spoke - the motherhood we celebrate on Mothers' Day - is all about the commitment, which DOES make one special, and which is NOT comparable to having a pet, no matter how much you spoil the little ankle biter.

You're shadow boxing. I'll leave you to it.

I just heard "I thought I could wander in and take over, and instead I got my ass handed to me."

Why, oh why, do I check back on these nutcase threads?

"I thought I could wander in and take over,"
Is that what you think of anyone who dares reply to your threads, or is it just me and my threatening 9 lines over three posts? Actually, that is exactly the attitude of yours that I was responding to in the first place. Arrogance galore. I'll leave it there since we are in a polite forum (your own behavior to the contrary).

No, Chuckles, that's just what I think of people who feel compelled to join threads for the purpose of stating how stupid they are, and then start excoriating people for things they didn't say and points that they didn't make, because they didn't bother to comprehend the topic before spouting off.

I didn't say your thread was stupid. I offered another opinion on the holy superiority of mothers, the underlying basis of your OP, is all. If you don't like to be disagreed with, I suggest you take Gracie's advice to have "sent the OP to yourself in an email so you could agree with yourself."

 

[Cecilie1200]

Yes, but unlike you, I wrote it AFTER thinking very carefully about what I wanted to say and whether or not I wanted to say it, AND I actually managed to address the salient points. You, on the other hand, blathered on about irrelevancies unrelated to anything actually said. You may "speak from experience", but you're not speaking ABOUT THE TOPIC.

Also, please note that I was pretty clear that motherhood doesn't stop with pushing the kid out. The motherhood of which I spoke - the motherhood we celebrate on Mothers' Day - is all about the commitment, which DOES make one special, and which is NOT comparable to having a pet, no matter how much you spoil the little ankle biter.

You're shadow boxing. I'll leave you to it.

I just heard "I thought I could wander in and take over, and instead I got my ass handed to me."

Why, oh why, do I check back on these nutcase threads?

"I thought I could wander in and take over,"
Is that what you think of anyone who dares reply to your threads, or is it just me and my threatening 9 lines over three posts? Actually, that is exactly the attitude of yours that I was responding to in the first place. Arrogance galore. I'll leave it there since we are in a polite forum (your own behavior to the contrary).

No, Chuckles, that's just what I think of people who feel compelled to join threads for the purpose of stating how stupid they are, and then start excoriating people for things they didn't say and points that they didn't make, because they didn't bother to comprehend the topic before spouting off.

I didn't say your thread was stupid. I offered another opinion on the holy superiority of mothers, the underlying basis of your OP, is all. If you don't like to be disagreed with, I suggest you take Gracie's advice to have "sent the OP to yourself in an email so you could agree with yourself."

If you and Gracie think responding to disagreement = "don't like being disagreed with and shouldn't talk", that just means you're leftist snowflakes. And I already knew that.

The REAL problem here is not that I have a problem with disagreement; it's that YOU TWO have a problem with getting any response to what you say other than, "You're so right, you're so brave, speak your truth". Both of you should know by now that any thread I'm in ain't gonna be like that.

 

[koshergrl]

The "pets are my children" people have no problem with neutering their children...or other's people's children, that have been placed with them by the state...

They hate the males.

 

[Cecilie1200]

The "pets are my children" people have no problem with neutering their children...or other's people's children, that have been placed with them by the state...

They hate the males.

Not even gonna go there.

I will say that I agree this very much plays into the "We don't want no steenkeeng reality!" mindset of our nation today. Literally any effing lunacy anyone wants to spout off is expected to be treated with the same gravity and respect as if they'd said something meaningful and well-thought-out.

 

[OldLady]

You're shadow boxing. I'll leave you to it.

I just heard "I thought I could wander in and take over, and instead I got my ass handed to me."

Why, oh why, do I check back on these nutcase threads?

"I thought I could wander in and take over,"
Is that what you think of anyone who dares reply to your threads, or is it just me and my threatening 9 lines over three posts? Actually, that is exactly the attitude of yours that I was responding to in the first place. Arrogance galore. I'll leave it there since we are in a polite forum (your own behavior to the contrary).

No, Chuckles, that's just what I think of people who feel compelled to join threads for the purpose of stating how stupid they are, and then start excoriating people for things they didn't say and points that they didn't make, because they didn't bother to comprehend the topic before spouting off.

I didn't say your thread was stupid. I offered another opinion on the holy superiority of mothers, the underlying basis of your OP, is all. If you don't like to be disagreed with, I suggest you take Gracie's advice to have "sent the OP to yourself in an email so you could agree with yourself."

If you and Gracie think responding to disagreement = "don't like being disagreed with and shouldn't talk", that just means you're leftist snowflakes. And I already knew that.

The REAL problem here is not that I have a problem with disagreement; it's that YOU TWO have a problem with getting any response to what you say other than, "You're so right, you're so brave, speak your truth". Both of you should know by now that any thread I'm in ain't gonna be like that.

So we HAVE met before. The REAL problem here is that regardless of what I say, you are going to twist it and turn me into something I'm not because you disagree with my politics. It is so disappointing that posters must carry grudges. It makes any true discussion or argument impossible. I heard exactly what you said without any preconceived notions about you. Too bad you can't do the same.

 

[Cecilie1200]

I just heard "I thought I could wander in and take over, and instead I got my ass handed to me."

Why, oh why, do I check back on these nutcase threads?

"I thought I could wander in and take over,"
Is that what you think of anyone who dares reply to your threads, or is it just me and my threatening 9 lines over three posts? Actually, that is exactly the attitude of yours that I was responding to in the first place. Arrogance galore. I'll leave it there since we are in a polite forum (your own behavior to the contrary).

No, Chuckles, that's just what I think of people who feel compelled to join threads for the purpose of stating how stupid they are, and then start excoriating people for things they didn't say and points that they didn't make, because they didn't bother to comprehend the topic before spouting off.

I didn't say your thread was stupid. I offered another opinion on the holy superiority of mothers, the underlying basis of your OP, is all. If you don't like to be disagreed with, I suggest you take Gracie's advice to have "sent the OP to yourself in an email so you could agree with yourself."

If you and Gracie think responding to disagreement = "don't like being disagreed with and shouldn't talk", that just means you're leftist snowflakes. And I already knew that.

The REAL problem here is not that I have a problem with disagreement; it's that YOU TWO have a problem with getting any response to what you say other than, "You're so right, you're so brave, speak your truth". Both of you should know by now that any thread I'm in ain't gonna be like that.

So we HAVE met before. The REAL problem here is that regardless of what I say, you are going to twist it and turn me into something I'm not because you disagree with my politics. It is so disappointing that posters must carry grudges. It makes any true discussion or argument impossible. I heard exactly what you said without any preconceived notions about you. Too bad you can't do the same.

If you're planning to storm off in high dudgeon as you said you were going to, could you please get on with it, already? 'Kay thanks bye.