Monica Jokes

[Nevadamedic]

A young gay man calls home and tells his Jewish mother that he has decided to go back into the closet because he has met a wonderful girl and they are going to be married. He tells his mother that he is sure she will be happier since he knows that his gay lifestyle has been very disturbing to her.

She responds that she is indeed delighted and asks tentatively, "I suppose it would be too much to hope that she would be Jewish?"

He tells her that not only is the girl Jewish, but is from a wealthy Beverly Hills family. She admits she is overwhelmed by the news, and asks, "What is her name?"

He answers, "Monica Lewinsky."

There is a long pause, then his mother asks, "What happened to that nice Catholic boy you were dating last year?"

 

[Nevadamedic]

Did you know that Monica Lewinsky is moving to North Carolina?

She doesn't know exactly where she'll live, but it's a toss-up between Blowing Rock and Morehead City.

 

[Nevadamedic]

What do Monica Lewinsky and a Coke Machine have in common?

They both have a sign that says, "Insert Bill Here, Faceup."

 

[Nevadamedic]

Seems Bill Clinton wasted all that time running for Persident. He thought they said the "Oral" office.

 

[Nevadamedic]

Why did Bill get into this problem?

He didn't know that her-ass (Harass) was one word.

 

[Nevadamedic]

What does Monica have on her Resume?

"Sat on the Presidential Staff."

 

[Nevadamedic]

Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry-cleaning store and tells the cleaner's clerk, "I've got another dress for you to clean."

Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, "Come again?"

"No," says Monica. "It's Mustard..."