An unnamed Missouri Republican was rumored to have said that he only wipes his butt once after doing number 2. Screams of anger rang out. Calls for his resignation are coming in from all quarters.
Obama said "It's despicable.....only wiping once....everyone knows you should wipe at least 3 times or you get all squishy".
Mitt Romney was asked for a comment and refused because he says "This nonsense is beneath even the Driveby Media's attention!"
However, if this is true then it's clear that the Missouri Republican is not ready for office. How can you vote for someone with sticky buns.