Military Wisdom

[PLYMCO_PILGRIM]

Interesting quotes

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." — Infantry Journal

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." — US Air Force Manual

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons." — General MacArthur

"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." — U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

"Tracers work both ways." — U.S. Army Ordnance Manual

"Five second fuses only last three seconds." — Infantry Journal

The three most useless things in aviation are: Fuel in the bowser; Runway behind you; and Air above you. — Basic Flight Training Manual

"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once." — Maritime Ops Manual

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." — Unknown Marine Recruit

"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." — USAF Ammo Troop

"You've never been lost until you"ve been lost at Mach 3." — Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)

"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire." —Unknown Author

"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter — and therefore, unsafe." — Fixed Wing Pilot

"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash." — Multi-Engine Training Manual

"Without ammunition, the USAF is just an expensive flying club." — Unknown Author

"If you hear me yell; 'Eject, Eject, Eject!,' the last two will be echos. If you stop to ask 'Why?' you"ll be talking to yourself, because you're the pilot." — Pre-flight Briefing from a 104 Pilot

"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies." — Sign over Control Tower Door

"Never trade luck for skill." — Author Unknown

"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight." — Basic Flight Training Manual

"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation — we have never left one up there!" — Unknown Author

"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it." — Emergency Checklist

"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." — Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)

"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." — Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ

"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to." — Sign over Carrier Group Operations Desk

"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal." — Lead-in Fighter Training Manual

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives. The rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?" The pilot"s reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"

 

[RetiredGySgt]

When you pull the pin out, Mr. Grenade is not your friend. Army Training Manual.

 

[PLYMCO_PILGRIM]

When you pull the pin out, Mr. Grenade is not your friend. Army Training Manual.

 

[Big Black Dog]

When you return from a deployment you find your girlfriend just as you left her - freshly fucked.

 

[uscitizen]

When you pull the pin out, Mr. Grenade is not your friend. Army Training Manual.

But they are more you friend if you pull the pin before throwing them.

What I saw in the Army...

 

[PLYMCO_PILGRIM]

When you return from a deployment you find your girlfriend just as you left her - freshly fucked.

zing....that would be so wrong.

 

[germanguy]

To translate these gems from german to english makes them loose much of the fun, as the undertone is dead-serious :


German Infantry Manual:

At a depth of 1,40 depth of water, the soldier starts with swimming movements by himself without being ordered doing so.

After sunset, the soldier is aware of darkness and acts accordingly.

regards

 

[JakeStarkey]

When you return from a deployment you find your girlfriend just as you left her - freshly fucked.

zing....that would be so wrong.

Tell that to the "westpac widows" of San Diego.

 

[Toome]

"Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn" - Unknown

"Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for" - Unknown

"The reason the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices it on a daily basis." - from a post-war debriefing of a German General

 

[Toome]

From "Murphy's Laws of Combat Operations"

Friendly fire - isn't.
Recoilless rifles - aren't.
Suppressive fires - won't.

A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.

Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: when they're ready. & when you're not.

 

[PLYMCO_PILGRIM]

When you return from a deployment you find your girlfriend just as you left her - freshly fucked.

zing....that would be so wrong.

Tell that to the "westpac widows" of San Diego.

you really want me to google that don't you

[link me im about to leave for work]

 

[blu]

To translate these gems from german to english makes them loose much of the fun, as the undertone is dead-serious :


German Infantry Manual:

At a depth of 1,40 depth of water, the soldier starts with swimming movements by himself without being ordered doing so.

After sunset, the soldier is aware of darkness and acts accordingly.

regards

anything douglas adams gets a rep from me

 

[blu]

nothing from sun tzu, alexander the great, or napoleon? pretty lame

 

[editec]

If they got a hat, ding' em!


If they ain't got a hat? Don't ding em!

Got it?

Hat ding, no hat, no ding!

A verbatum quote of my FMSS school gunny's instructions for whom to "ding" during one of our fielld exercises in how to be a Marine.

God! that was a fun time.

It was being a kid playing at war... only with really big teams and really cool toys.

 

[noose4]

One of the greatest pieces of military wisdom is contained on the claymore mine:

 

[noose4]

When you return from a deployment you find your girlfriend just as you left her - freshly fucked.

zing....that would be so wrong.

Tell that to the "westpac widows" of San Diego.

Oh man you could always tell when a unit had been deployed by the number of new broads hitting the bars looking for some action.

 

[JakeStarkey]

A CSM once told some young sergeants that a good NCO was a combination of deception, cunning, and casual criminality. A group of AIT infantry guys, led by a seasoned SSG, raided a post housing area for sod to finish the lawn in front of the barracks. They also purloined a duece and a half, abandoning it after the caper. The next morning the MP jeeps were whizzing up down and the road right past the newly sodded barracks lawn, looking in vain for any evidence of the crime or the culprits.