Methinks he doth protest too much

Discussion in 'Religion and Ethics' started by BDBoop, Oct 19, 2011.

  1. BDBoop
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    BDBoop BANNED

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    Don't harsh my zen, Jen!
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    Christian Right Wing Pastor Mark Driscoll Says Masturbation Is Form Of Homosexuality | Addicting Info

    Oh! Umm ...

    I don't see this going over real well.

    :lol:
     
  2. syrenn
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    check his palms...i bet they got hair on them!
     
  3. Ropey
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    Ropey To Life! Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    And I wonder whose hair... :eek:

    When they are that far out....:doubt:

    And what guy looks in the mirror? :doubt:
     
  4. The Professor
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    The Professor Diamond Member Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    Masturbation is not a sin as long as it's consensual.

    I bet the good pastor could masturbate while playing the accordion and switch hands without missing a note or a stroke.

    Actually, according to the creation story told in Genesis 2:4-25, Adam himself was a masturbater!

    When Adam was first created, he was in the garden ALONE, no birdies, no fishes, no beasts of the fields, and certainly no women. Yet Adam had a penis, and we must assume that since God made him the penis was perfect - that it was fully functioning, both as a reproductive organ and an instrument of pleasure. The God-established relationship between the brain and the penis (which has endured throughout the ensuing generations) would naturally have caused Adam to feel desire. So what did the first man do when he got horny, being alone? Probably the same thing that men do today. So those who consider masturbation to be a sin must admit that the first pole-pounder was none other than Adam himself, and God didn't give him much of a choice.

    Some time later, God became aware of Adam’s loneliness and said, “It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him an help mate for him” (Genesis 2:18). In an attempt to find a helpmate for Adam, God created all the animals (the aforementioned birdies, fishes and beasts of the fields); however, the attempt failed: “but for Adam there was not found an help mate for him” (Genesis 2:20). God somehow neglected to notice Adam’s dangling appendage, or else, having noticed, somehow forgot its purpose; therefore, the Creator failed to create something more appropriate for Adam’s fully functioning penis. So what did Adam do when he got horny, and he was tired of stroking it and there was nothing around but animals? I won’t even go there; however, the Bible does warn against bestiality.

    At any rate, eventually God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep whereupon He extracted one of Adam’s ribs and from this single rib Eve was created. Finally, God got it right; but until that time Adam satisfied his God-given sexual urges by ........(I’ll let each one fill in the blanks according to his/her own perception of history, biology and theology.)

    Readers: Please, please, I am fully aware that the Creation story in the first Book of Genesis has both Adam and Eve created together, after the animals. However, those who have studied the Bible know there are two separate and conflicting Creation accounts in Genesis. I elected to quote from the second account of Creation which begins in Genesis 2:4 and which shows the order of creation to be: first Adam, then the animals, and finally Eve.
     
  5. MeBelle
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    MeBelle Mebellien Mothership © Supporting Member

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    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGVnH39UzI8]Strokin' Music Video - YouTube[/ame]



    :eusa_angel:
     
  6. strollingbones
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    strollingbones Diamond Member

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    what about women who masturbate?
     
  7. MeBelle
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    MeBelle Mebellien Mothership © Supporting Member

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    Dang Bones, there you go asking the hard questions!!

    I have no YouTube response for that.

    The OP did clearly state MEN, so it must be OK for women. :eusa_angel:
    :eusa_shhh:
     
  8. strollingbones
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    strollingbones Diamond Member

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    with mirrors or without?
     
  9. strollingbones
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    strollingbones Diamond Member

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    smoke and mirrors?
     
  10. MeBelle
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    Women don't need either.
    ;)
     

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