- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
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American pedestrianism should spawn some nice patriotic storytelling, especially since we're all haunted by 9/11. I'm a fan of the recent Captain America films...
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A lovely meter-maid in America named Rita was being stalked by a serial-killer named Two-Face who declared in the press that he simply despised pedestrians, consumers, and democracy in general. Rita was eventually killed, but Rita's daughter Shirley became a meter-maid too.
After Two-Face was arrested, his demonic son took up the reins as the 'new' Two-Face and killed Shirley, Rita's daughter who was also a meter-maid. "Two-Face 2" then doused half his face with corrosive acid and held a coin up for a photo he sent to the newspapers paired with the message, "Meter maids are servants of American traffic and bureaucracy and hence capitalism dementia." Two-Face 2 then committed suicide.
A comedian decided to interpret the deeds of Two-Face 2 by suggesting that the psycho was simply cynical about American pedestrianism in general and hence consumerism-culture (e.g., McFries). He took a picture of himself eating McFries and said that Two-Face 2 would be really aggravated.
A troop of California beauties known as the Gold Coast Meter-Maids posed for various calendar-photos meant to be patriotic symbols of capitalism and traffic in America. What would Two-Face 2 have made of these 'traffic beauties' hyping pedestrian consciousness?
A couple of Trump Administration appointed CIA agents named Scarlett and Lady Jaye were appointed to secure all California parking-meter areas and watch for any suspicious-looking criminals trying to copycat Two-Face 2 by threatening meter-maids. Scarlett and Lady Jaye wanted to catch such a copycat-psycho hopefully threatening the Gold Coast Meter-Maids so they could say in the press that new age serial-killers were targeting 'culture-symbolic' people/bureaucrats.
As Scarlett and Lady Jaye reported their progress back to the rest of their unit in the CIA, the team decided to analyze all kinds of anti-pedestrian sentiments and how it could be related to various forms of terrorism and urban crime. The team, known as 'G.I. Joes' made a vital link to an eerie crime involving the lacing of an Alaskan lake with toxic poison which led to the spawning of mutated sea-serpents. This was the age of anti-social crimes/terror.
TRUMP: I want a Meter-Maid t-shirt for my daughter.
CARTER: This is the time of patriotism-marketing!
TRUMP: Are you a fan of patriotic films?
CARTER: I like My Fellow Americans (Jack Lemmon).
TRUMP: After 9/11, we've been anxious about pedestrian safety.
CARTER: Commerce is not always 'embraced.'
TRUMP: What happened to Cracker-Jack and Ovaltine?
CARTER: Wal-Mart and Wall Street cynicism is scarring our face.
TRUMP: Well, the meter-maid is the new 'nightingale.'
CARTER: I wish they caught Two-Face and Two-Face 2.
TRUMP: Yes, they managed to murder two dutiful American meter-maids.
CARTER: Perhaps Scarlett and Lady Jaye are ensuring greater controls now.
TRUMP: I want a comic book story devoted to Scarlett and Lady Jaye.
CARTER: Maybe the next Captain America film will feature meter-maids!
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A lovely meter-maid in America named Rita was being stalked by a serial-killer named Two-Face who declared in the press that he simply despised pedestrians, consumers, and democracy in general. Rita was eventually killed, but Rita's daughter Shirley became a meter-maid too.
After Two-Face was arrested, his demonic son took up the reins as the 'new' Two-Face and killed Shirley, Rita's daughter who was also a meter-maid. "Two-Face 2" then doused half his face with corrosive acid and held a coin up for a photo he sent to the newspapers paired with the message, "Meter maids are servants of American traffic and bureaucracy and hence capitalism dementia." Two-Face 2 then committed suicide.
A comedian decided to interpret the deeds of Two-Face 2 by suggesting that the psycho was simply cynical about American pedestrianism in general and hence consumerism-culture (e.g., McFries). He took a picture of himself eating McFries and said that Two-Face 2 would be really aggravated.
A troop of California beauties known as the Gold Coast Meter-Maids posed for various calendar-photos meant to be patriotic symbols of capitalism and traffic in America. What would Two-Face 2 have made of these 'traffic beauties' hyping pedestrian consciousness?
A couple of Trump Administration appointed CIA agents named Scarlett and Lady Jaye were appointed to secure all California parking-meter areas and watch for any suspicious-looking criminals trying to copycat Two-Face 2 by threatening meter-maids. Scarlett and Lady Jaye wanted to catch such a copycat-psycho hopefully threatening the Gold Coast Meter-Maids so they could say in the press that new age serial-killers were targeting 'culture-symbolic' people/bureaucrats.
As Scarlett and Lady Jaye reported their progress back to the rest of their unit in the CIA, the team decided to analyze all kinds of anti-pedestrian sentiments and how it could be related to various forms of terrorism and urban crime. The team, known as 'G.I. Joes' made a vital link to an eerie crime involving the lacing of an Alaskan lake with toxic poison which led to the spawning of mutated sea-serpents. This was the age of anti-social crimes/terror.
TRUMP: I want a Meter-Maid t-shirt for my daughter.
CARTER: This is the time of patriotism-marketing!
TRUMP: Are you a fan of patriotic films?
CARTER: I like My Fellow Americans (Jack Lemmon).
TRUMP: After 9/11, we've been anxious about pedestrian safety.
CARTER: Commerce is not always 'embraced.'
TRUMP: What happened to Cracker-Jack and Ovaltine?
CARTER: Wal-Mart and Wall Street cynicism is scarring our face.
TRUMP: Well, the meter-maid is the new 'nightingale.'
CARTER: I wish they caught Two-Face and Two-Face 2.
TRUMP: Yes, they managed to murder two dutiful American meter-maids.
CARTER: Perhaps Scarlett and Lady Jaye are ensuring greater controls now.
TRUMP: I want a comic book story devoted to Scarlett and Lady Jaye.
CARTER: Maybe the next Captain America film will feature meter-maids!
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