Message Board Types

[Abbey Normal]

I'm not sure if people here have seen this before, but it is a pretty funny catalog of different types of recognizable messsage board debaters.

http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/index.htm

A couple of sample types from the site:

Nitpick
Nitpick compensates for his limited fighting ability by pouncing on points that are only marginally relevant to the discussion. For example, if his opponent in a sports forum conflict casually mentioned the Cubs' 4-2 victory in the 1908 World Series, Nitpick would quickly counterattack with something like, "4-2 !? Any moron knows the Cubs won the Series 4-1! Someone so ignorant about baseball history can't possibly know anything about salary caps!" Even if the minor point is conceded by his opponent Nitpick will return to it whenever the battle turns against him. Though weak, Nitpick is very tenacious and will never admit defeat. Nitpick is a close ally of Artful Dodger.

Tireless Rebutter
For Tireless Rebutter there is no such thing as a trivial dispute. He regards all challenges as barbarians at the gates. His unflagging tenacity in making his points numbs and eventually wears down the opposition. Confident that his arguments are sound, Tireless Rebutter can't understand why he is universally loathed.

Jerk
Jerk is sarcastic, mean, unforgiving and never misses an opportunity to make a cutting remark. Jerk's repulsive personality quickly alienates other Warriors, and after some initial skirmishing he is usually ostracized. Still, Jerk is very happy to participate in electronic forums because in cyberspace he is free to be himself...without the risk of getting a real-time punch in the mouth

 

[dmp]

Make it interesting. . .

Why don't you assign users to a label...no hard feelings - just your Point of View.

 

[Shattered]

Make it interesting. . .

Why don't you assign users to a label...no hard feelings - just your Point of View.

Boy, are you asking for a world of trouble...

 

[Nienna]

Make it interesting. . .

Why don't you assign users to a label...no hard feelings - just your Point of View.

Uhhh...Darin, I regard you as something of a creative genius, but I don't think this is one of your better ideas.

 

[dilloduck]

Uhhh...Darin, I regard you as something of a creative genius, but I don't think this is one of your better ideas.

Oh man--I'm all over the placed--no wonder I am loathed !

 

[Nienna]

Oh man--I'm all over the placed--no wonder I am loathed !

I don't loathe you, dillo.

 

[dmp]

Uhhh...Darin, I regard you as something of a creative genius, but I don't think this is one of your better ideas.

Feeling a bit...weird today.

 

[Nienna]

Feeling a bit...weird today.

Well... we all have days like that.

 

[dilloduck]

I don't loathe you, dillo.

thanks ---- I really didn't mean to get into a poor me compliment fishing expedition tho--but thanks. All others may refrain from responding

 

[Said1]

I like this one.

Reminds me of someone who gets mad when people "throwing filth at his country".

Patois
The tortured syntax of his messages immediately gives Patois away as a non-native speaker. Patois enters discussion forums with the best of intentions; he may want to get to know Americans, or practice his English, or exchange ideas about a particular subject. Predictably, his malaprops immediately draw fire from Evil Clown and Jerk - even Grammarian may weigh in. At first, Patois tries to parry the thrusts with inept banter, but as his tormenters turn up the heat Patois finally pops his cork. Forgetting what little English he knows he lashes out with sputtering ripostes such as, “ No, you must stopping now because you are a stupid.”, which only causes more piling on. When Eagle Scout, Weenie, an others spring to his defense Patois lavishes them with puppy-like gratitude and loyalty. CAUTION: Impersonating Patois is a favorite ruse of Imposter and Troller.

 

[The ClayTaurus]

None of these here

Xenophobe:
Xenophobe is usually a long-term discussion forum participant and he thinks of the forum as his private compound. Xenophobe regards new forum arrivals as mentally deficient and perhaps even having criminal tendencies, and they are invariably approached with suspicion and condescension. Xenophobe will mount a furious attack if a Newbie has the temerity to make critical observations about the forum's social dynamics, or questions its prevailing opinions.

 

[Said1]

None of these here

At least you lived to speak about what happens to those who don't submit to the natural pecking order, Neeeeeeeeewb.

 

[Abbey Normal]

Make it interesting. . .

Why don't you assign users to a label...no hard feelings - just your Point of View.

Sorry, D, but I think I'll pass.

I like this one too:
Palooka
Palooka will battle anyone, anytime, anywhere - he seems to love it, even though he always takes a beating. After a terrific pounding at the hands of, for example, Kung-Fu Master, he'll just struggle to his feet and wobble back into the ring. His astonishing ability to absorb punishment leads one to suspect that during his long Warrior career Palooka has taken a few too many punches. Often, as an act of mercy, Nanny will step in to stop the fight.

 

[Hobbit]

Psycho, anyone?

Centurion tries to gain tactical advantage in battle by asserting that he is, or was at one time, in the military. He affects the brusque demeanor and clipped style of a drill sergeant, and intimidates opponents by sprinkling his messages with military verbiage and obscure acronyms. He reinforces weak arguments by constantly reminding other Warriors that he has “done his duty”, or “served his country”. Sometimes Centurion may even post pictures of military hardware or images of himself in fatigues brandishing a weapon. Centurion may actually have a military background, or he may just be a nut case - no one really knows. Centurion loathes and is loathed by Weenie, Artiste and Fragile Femme. His natural ally is Troglodyte.

Blowhard feels the need to present his credentials before entering the fray - even if they are irrelevant to the discussion. For example, in a movie forum conflict he might attempt to settle the matter by saying, "As a Ph. D. candidate in particle physics I believe I can say with some authority that the 'Beavis and Butthead' movie represents the emergence of a new cultural paradigm." Huh?

 

[no1tovote4]

This is one of the most hilarious sites I have ever seen... It would be a curiosity to see what others thought I was...

Some people have some thin skin though. I think we may have to avoid dmp's idea... At least for now.

 

[The ClayTaurus]

LOL

Troglodyte:
Troglodyte seems to have emerged from the mists of time untouched by human evolution. Devoid of a single progressive idea and lacking the slightest awareness of social and cultural advances, Troglodyte has developed an incoherent political philosophy that he characterizes as "conservative" or "libertarian", but which could be more accurately described as "bigoted narcissism". His aggressive posturing often frightens off weaker, more timid Warriors. In pitched battle, however, Troglodyte easily loses control and his attack quickly degenerates into a rant. Just for the fun of it, Weenie, Issues. Pinko and Evil Clown will sometimes deliberately goad him into a towering rage.

 

[rtwngAvngr]

This site is awesome. But yes, very much a hot potato.

 

[rtwngAvngr]

Let's do this let's say what we all think we are. Im across between, Ceaseless Rebutter, Evil Clown, Lonely guy, and drug guy.

 

[USViking]

I see bits and pieces of my self in several
of these message board types, with no
tyoe predominating.

 

[Nienna]

I guess maybe I'd be the "Deacon," with a little "Coffee Klatch" and "Bliss Ninny" thrown in. And I must confess to secretly harboring "Grammarian" thoughts.