maybe this is why gabby is so ............

Discussion in 'Humor' started by manu1959, Jul 5, 2005.

  1. manu1959
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    manu1959 Left Coast Isolationist

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    Men Are Just Happier People--

    What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

    You can be President. You can never get pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car Mechanics tell you the truth.

    The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000.
    Tux rental-$100.

    People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
    Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase . You can open all of your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

    You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides you big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

    No wonder men are happier.
     
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  2. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    You think Gabby wants to be a man????? Naaaaaaaaaaa say it ain't so!!
     
  3. manu1959
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    manu1959 Left Coast Isolationist

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    penis envy.....tis possible
     
  4. nakedemperor
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    nakedemperor Senior Member

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    You forgot one of the most important ones... no PMS (although that's sort of covered in the 'one mood' line).
     
  5. Shattered
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    Shattered Guest

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    You are sorely mistaken if you think men don't PMS...
     
  6. Gabriella84
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    Gabriella84 Guest

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    I know for sure that men PMS. I read it in your posts all the time. :rotflmao:

    My wedding is going to cost $600. I am wearing my sister's gorgeous dark blue wedding dress. We are going to honeymoon in Australia, but that is being paid for my Rob's company. Business class on Quantas, nice hotel rooms, the work. Sort of like a matrimonial political junket.

    The descriptions of the female sound more like upper-class white princess types. The only thing is, we can no longer jet off to the tropics, drink like a fish and screw around with the rich local playboys. Natalee Holloway ruined it for the rest of us.

    By the way, I buy my underwear 6 to the package at Target. Females need to understand that it is useless to buy expensive, sexy lingerie. The only underwear that impresses men are the ones on the floor.
     
  7. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    Look who's generalizing now !! :teeth:
     
  8. Gabriella84
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    Gabriella84 Guest

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    Hush! You aren't supposed to point that out! :321:
     
  9. archangel
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  10. Bonnie
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    Bonnie Senior Member

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    I take exception to this, Im happy a lot and last I checked I am a girl.........And Shattered is right men do definately PMS

    I buy my underwear at Victoria Secret 5 pair for 25.00 which makes me very happy cuz I have many color and style choices. And I honestly don't mind an occasional stare in the chest area as long as the rest of me isn't forgotten (mind included). I hate talking on the phone and rarely do, person to person is much better. Happily my belly is still flat though if it ever gets big Ill get back to you then. And if I wear the right bra yes I can even wear a white t-shirt to the water park.........

    <a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZSXXXXXX42US' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_1_112.gif' alt='Way Too Happy' border=0></a>
     

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