May 5

Discussion in 'Gardening and Landscaping' started by Larsky, Apr 30, 2018.

  1. Larsky
    Offline

    Larsky Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2016
    Messages:
    6,756
    Thanks Received:
    1,432
    Trophy Points:
    290
    Ratings:
    +13,452
    Not only Cinco De Mayo, (in my top 3 holidays) But it is also Naked Gardening Day. What are your thoughts?
    [​IMG]
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
  2. TNHarley
    Offline

    TNHarley Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2012
    Messages:
    58,263
    Thanks Received:
    8,556
    Trophy Points:
    2,030
    Ratings:
    +58,325
    We use chicken shit for our garden. Not exactly sexy.. Unless you enjoy fapping to someone that was rolling around in chicken shit
     
  3. Larsky
    Offline

    Larsky Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2016
    Messages:
    6,756
    Thanks Received:
    1,432
    Trophy Points:
    290
    Ratings:
    +13,452
    You could probably find that after a brief search lol
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. miketx
    Offline

    miketx Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2015
    Messages:
    49,184
    Thanks Received:
    5,394
    Trophy Points:
    1,870
    Ratings:
    +55,249
    Cultivated bush?
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  5. OldLady
    Offline

    OldLady Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2015
    Messages:
    37,647
    Thanks Received:
    6,844
    Trophy Points:
    1,170
    Ratings:
    +30,607
    Breaking the ground weather coincides with blackfly season and I'll be damned if I'm going to garden naked and have blackfly bites all over my you know whats as well as all over my neck, arms, scalp, etc. They are hungry critters, are black flies.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  6. Erinwltr
    Offline

    Erinwltr VIP Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2018
    Messages:
    1,693
    Thanks Received:
    186
    Trophy Points:
    80
    Ratings:
    +1,007
    Completely digging it!
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  7. OldLady
    Offline

    OldLady Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2015
    Messages:
    37,647
    Thanks Received:
    6,844
    Trophy Points:
    1,170
    Ratings:
    +30,607
    Maine Blackfly Breeders Association



    Blackfly Conventioneers Beset Machias



    Upwards of seventy “breeders” and “donors” from Augusta, ME, to New Brunswick, Canada, gathered at AJ’s Bar & Grill in Machias on Thursday, February 31st, for breakfast and The International Convention of the Maine Black Fly Breeders Association. Each attendee was given a bumper sticker sporting the MBBA slogan, “We Breed ‘em, You Feed ‘em” and a name tag saying “My name is......Bite Me!”

    After the official welcome by Jim Wells and the introduction of the Board of Directors, Whiting resident and breeder, Don Green, gave his concession speech. Mr. Green was an unofficial candidate for President of the United States in 2004, running on the Black Fly Party ticket. The BFP is the only political party with both a left and a right wing. During his remarks, he was subjected to wave after wave of applause for his gallant effort on behalf of black fly interests.


    [​IMG]
    The board of directors: From left are Holly Garner-Jackson of Whiting, Marilyn Dowling of Jonesboro, Laurel Robinson of Machias and Jim Wells of Machiasport.


    The MBBA’s mission “to improve the quality of life through the use of humor...” was well met by this year’s Pro-Black Fly Limerick-writing Contestants. Joel Pratt of Roque Bluffs was on a roll, literally, with limericks by the yard. The final winner was Jerry Metz of Addison and with his permission, I give you these examples of his extraordinary work:)

    A geneticist down in Port Jervis
    Hatched a black fly that’s making me nervous.
    It flexes its muscles
    And sucks red corpuscles
    For the Internal Revenue Service.

    and this

    Some breeders from Englishman Bay
    Bred a black fly with new DNA:
    It’ll work day and night!
    You can die from one bite,
    But it only likes folks From Away!




    [​IMG]
    Jerry Metz


    That second one isn’t likely to be used by the DownEast and Acadia Regional Tourism Council any time soon, but it earned a “wicked funny” rating on the Applause-o-Meter from this group of cabin-fevered Maniacs and Acadians.

    Lee Waldron from New Brunswick received “Breeder of the Year” honors and first Place in the Exhibit Area went to Rodney Schwarzenflugel (a.k.a. George Schwenk) for his artistic presentation “The Black Fly in History in Seven Volumes.” Second place went to Robert G. Costa for his entry, “The Black Fly Artificial Insemination Laboratory.”

    The second part of the MBBA mission is to contribute to local charities and they achieve this by donating profits from the sale of designer black fly houses, trailers, swarm domes and “Born to Swarm” tee shirts. The newest product, the fly-sized Black Fly Salon, is now available. It is a full-service salon where a fly can get its drill sharpened and its wings shined. After the convention, the inventory returned with Holly Garner-Jackson to association headquarters, The Woodwind Custom Framers and Gallery on Route 1 in Machias, where these items and other theme merchandise is available to anyone with a sense of humor and an interest in supporting a good cause. A true affection for black flies is optional.

    This article appeared in the Downeast Coastal Press, week of March 8-14, 2005. The MBBA website is still up as of Jan. 2014, but is seriously out of date. Maineblackfly.org
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
  8. Dogmaphobe
    Offline

    Dogmaphobe BANNED

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2014
    Messages:
    9,476
    Thanks Received:
    2,336
    Trophy Points:
    1,095
    Location:
    Or uh gun
    Ratings:
    +12,969

    Your neighbors sure dodged the bullet on that one.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
  9. Dekster
    Offline

    Dekster Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2014
    Messages:
    2,632
    Thanks Received:
    283
    Trophy Points:
    140
    Ratings:
    +1,407
    I growed a radish. If it is there May 5, I will eat it naked in the garden.

    Resized_20180502_190022.jpeg
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  10. baileyn45
    Offline

    baileyn45 Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2015
    Messages:
    4,467
    Thanks Received:
    2,454
    Trophy Points:
    1,030
    Ratings:
    +4,247
    No naked gardening here. My neighbors haven't done anything to deserve that. Some of them might not mind my wife partaking, I would probably end up with an officer's knee in my back and a lot fewer Christmas cards.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1

Share This Page