Mary Legal and Mary Illegal There are two ladies: "Mary Legal" and "Mary Illegal". One Mary is married, has two kids, and lives in Boston. The other Mary is not married, is a crack whore, and lives in Chicago. Mary Legal bakes cookies for the church social, bowls on Tuesday nights with the mixed league, and collects salt and pepper shakers. She has no income because she is a stay at home Mom. Mary Illegal has never held an honest job in her life, takes in over $2,000.00 a week selling her body, and collects STDs. Ready? Now pay attention Mary Legal: Sells the cookies she bakes for 50 cents each although they cost 70 cents each to make. She personally looses $2.40 per dozen of cookies she sells but makes $6.00 per dozen that she sells for the church building fund. To her its a good deal. Mary Illegal: Sells her favors for $100.00 an hour. She gives her pimp $60.00 and gives Joe, the policeman, $20.00 for protection. She makes $20.00 for an hours work. To her its a good deal. Mary Legal: Has a yard sale and makes $312.59. Its her shopping fund. With it she will buy groceries, shoes for the baby, and some pizza for supper so she doesnt have to cook. Mary Illegal: Has cleared $60.00 for her night of work. With it she will buy some crack for $30.00, a Pepsi and two tacos for $4.90, and lottery tickets with the rest. Mary Legal: Has $37.45 cents left over from the yard sale. She gives it to her hard working husband and suggest he stop off for some beer with the boys after work on Thursday. She is very pleased with herself. Mary Illegal: Wins $3.00 from her lottery ticket purchase. She is pissed. Mary Legal: Goes to Florida on a vacation with her family in June. Mary Illegal: Gets busted by undercover vice cops and goes to court next Monday. Mary Legal: Is happy as a clam with her life. Lives to be 79 years old. Mary Illegal: Not so lucky. She gets hit by a city bus and dies at the age of 27. Mary Legal lives 52 years longer than Mary Illegal. It really sucks to be Mary Illegal, huh?