Married to a Liberal

Discussion in 'Humor' started by 5stringJeff, Apr 16, 2004.

  1. 5stringJeff
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    5stringJeff Senior Member

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    The Top 14 Signs You're Married to a Liberal (slightly updated by me)


    14> In your wedding vows, "love, honor, and cherish" were
    replaced with "legitimize, empower, and respect her
    reproductive freedom."

    13> Pile of burned George W. Bush effigies in the back yard is
    starting to block the sun.

    12> Supports John Kerry for President in 2004, but has no idea why.

    11> After a poor performance in the bedroom, you find yourself
    enrolled in a federal program to correct your shortcomings.

    10> To rectify years of persecution to women, she makes you
    wipe your own ass.

    9> Misses your funeral to protest the harsh sentence given
    your killer.

    8> You casually mention your "Euthanize the Homeless" idea
    and -- BANG! -- no sex for a month.

    7> What, the family budget is *BALANCED*? Quick, let's get
    to the mall and buy something!

    6> Insists his socks are not mismatched, they're "diverse."

    5> He was a tireless advocate of gun control until the
    impeachment hearings started. Now he owns a rocket
    launcher.

    4> At the height of passion, cries out, "Tax me!!!"

    3> It's bad enough that he looks like an extra from "Deliverance"
    -- now he can't keep his loudmouth Cajun trap shut on those
    talk shows.

    2> Constantly pelts your cats with ketchup, screeching, "Fur is
    murder!"


    and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign You're Married to a Liberal...


    1> She's got the kids playing "Barbaric Imperialists and
    Innocent Native Americans" again.
     
  2. Aquarian
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    Aquarian Member

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    :laugh:
     
  3. MtnBiker
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    MtnBiker Senior Member

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    12> Supports John Kerry for President in 2004, but has no idea why.

    :teeth:
     
  4. KLSuddeth
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    KLSuddeth Guest

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    The only difference is that he is turning right and refuses to admit it.

    (I promised him that I wouldnt slam him too hard in this thread.)
     
  5. MtnBiker
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    MtnBiker Senior Member

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    Don't slam him, pat him on the back.
     
  6. KLSuddeth
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    KLSuddeth Guest

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    he gets patted alot :p:
     

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