Married but live separate?

High_Gravity

Belligerent Drunk
Nov 19, 2010
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Richmond VA
Apparently this is a new trend coming up for people who can afford to do it.

Divide and Conquer: Married But Separate

Divide-and-Conquer-Married-But-Separate_articleimage.jpg


Whenever a newspaper runs a feature about a married couple who live apart—which happens more often than you’d think, at least every six months—the news crackles through the blogosphere, and my social circuit, on an electric current of raw, naked envy.

“Oh my God—my own space, all to myself? How do people pull it off? What a dream,” sighs very happily married V. We’re absentmindedly browsing the racks in a consignment shop while discussing the latest instance, a story about a man and a woman in Vermont who constructed two separate houses connected by an enclosed bridge, when I’m overcome with déjà vu. I’d had this exact conversation six months ago, with very happily married S., after an article appeared about a woman who built her own (tiny, adorable) gingerbread cottage for alone time and occasional overnights, located across a stream and up the hill from the home she shares with her husband. Each time it’s as if we’re struck anew by this most novel arrangement, as if we’ve never heard of it before, as if I hadn’t been dreaming of it for a full decade, ever since Brooke Kroeger’s biography of the writer Fannie Hurst first planted the idea in my mind.

If you’ve never heard of Hurst, she was the highest paid short-story writer of the first half of the twentieth century—a prolific Danielle Steele type, but one who wrote about immigrants and shopgirls. She was the author of 26 books that were adapted into 31 films, and her death in 1968 earned her a front-page obituary in The New York Times. Equally glamorous was her private life, which was the most winning blend of prim and sensational: On May 4, 1920, the Times broke the story that everyone’s favorite author, heretofore considered single, was in fact married to a dashing musician named Jacques Danielson, and had been for five years, and—I hope you’re sitting down for this—they lived in separate studio apartments in the same building on West 69th Street. The article opens:

FANNIE HURST WED; HID SECRET 5 YEARS

Sailed Into Matrimony With Pianist “in a Bark of Their Own Designing,” LIVE APART, THEIR OWN WAY Meet by Appointment—It’s a New Method Which Rejects “Antediluvian Custom.”

In the story, Hurst explained that she considered nine out of 10 marriages to be “sordid endurance tests, overgrown with the fungi of familiarity and contempt,” and that by living separately from her husband, she was able to keep her most sacred relationship a “high-sheen damask” rather than a “breakfast cloth, stale with soft-boiled egg stains.”

The press went wild, with all sorts of sanctimonious editorials and letters to the editor, inciting the chivalrous Danielson to publish, three days later, a charmingly reasonable defense of their living situation as being both loving and economical. “For those who seem to think that I am being cheated of the carpet slipper, fire-side aspect of domesticity,” he wrote, “whenever I find the ache beginning to set in for the comfortable sag of the patent rocker, I need only to drop in at Miss Hurst’s for one of the delicious homemade dinners her maid of five years permanency knows so well how to prepare.” Convinced readers took note, and for a while, among those who could afford it, a “Fannie Hurst marriage” was much in vogue.

Staying Together By Living Apart - Read More About Marriage on ELLE.com
 
Beats the shit out of me. I'm on year four, but since my dearly beloved has been living with someone else since I wanna say 72 hours after I got bumped out of my side of the bed - I don't think that's what they are talking about.

Divorce en route by year-end. Fuck if I'm not done with the waiting for Mr. Cheap Ass to pay for the damages.
 
Beats the shit out of me. I'm on year four, but since my dearly beloved has been living with someone else since I wanna say 72 hours after I got bumped out of my side of the bed - I don't think that's what they are talking about.

Divorce en route by year-end. Fuck if I'm not done with the waiting for Mr. Cheap Ass to pay for the damages.

You need to file for divorce and take his ass for what you can.
 
Beats the shit out of me. I'm on year four, but since my dearly beloved has been living with someone else since I wanna say 72 hours after I got bumped out of my side of the bed - I don't think that's what they are talking about.

Divorce en route by year-end. Fuck if I'm not done with the waiting for Mr. Cheap Ass to pay for the damages.

You need to file for divorce and take his ass for what you can.

There's nothing to take his ass for. I just want this over.
 
All of this "redefining" of marriage is like calling a soy patty a hamburger.

Well to be fair half our marriages in the US end in divorce, maybe its time for something different?

Hold on, there, big boy....
....that's one of those not-so-true common beliefs...


"Contradicting the endless New York Times articles celebrating "the new American family," "blended families" and "quasi marriages," a recent census report says that only 12 percent of Americans will be married as many as two times in their entire lives. Only 3 percent will be married three or more times.

(The "one of every two marriages will end in divorce" canard comes from comparing the number of marriages in a given year to the number of divorces that same year -- but the divorces could be from any of the millions of marriages consummated in the prior several decades. Serial divorcers also bring the "average" divorce rate way up.)"
Why Larry King Will Never Be President - HUMAN EVENTS
 
My current wife and I have been married for 10 years. I have been working on the road for 9 of those years. Sometimes I'm home every weekend. Sometimes its a couple of weeks. And sometimes I have taken my wife out of town with me.

I think its not a bad way to live. At least most of thetime.
 
All of this "redefining" of marriage is like calling a soy patty a hamburger.

Well to be fair half our marriages in the US end in divorce, maybe its time for something different?

Hold on, there, big boy....
....that's one of those not-so-true common beliefs...


"Contradicting the endless New York Times articles celebrating "the new American family," "blended families" and "quasi marriages," a recent census report says that only 12 percent of Americans will be married as many as two times in their entire lives. Only 3 percent will be married three or more times.

(The "one of every two marriages will end in divorce" canard comes from comparing the number of marriages in a given year to the number of divorces that same year -- but the divorces could be from any of the millions of marriages consummated in the prior several decades. Serial divorcers also bring the "average" divorce rate way up.)"
Why Larry King Will Never Be President - HUMAN EVENTS


"Contradicting the endless New York Times articles celebrating "the new American family," "blended families" and "quasi marriages," a recent census report says that only 12 percent of Americans will be married as many as two times in their entire lives. Only 3 percent will be married three or more times."

Very few "women" can, should they wish, even land more than two or three hubbies.....:lol:


 

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