Man is a woman's best friend. He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires. He will make sure she always feels that she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible. No wait...... sorry....... I'm thinking of wine. Its wine that does all that. Sorry.
I've always thought men were like. . . . BANK ACCOUNTS Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest. BLENDERS You need one, but you're not quite sure why. CHOCOLATE BARS Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. COFFEE The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long. COMMERCIALS You can't believe a word they say. COMPUTERS Hard to figure out and never have enough memory. COOLERS Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere. COPIERS You need them for reproduction, but that's about it. CURLING IRONS They're always hot, and they're always in your hair. GOVERNMENT BONDS They take so long to mature. HOROSCOPES They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong. LAVA LAMPS Fun to look at, but not all that bright. MASCARA They usually run at the first sign of emotion. PARKING SPOTS The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small. POPCORN They satisfy you, but only for a little while. Nevertheless. . . . I sure wouldn't want a world that didn't have them.
