Love and sex

[Checkerboard Strangler]

Even your very own Bible clearly stated right in the very beginning that we are naught but dirt, dust and mud, or what the hippies began describing as "stardust, golden, billion year old carbon", which is another way of interpreting "thou art dust and unto dust shalt thou return."

“God made mud.
God got lonesome.
So God said to some of the mud, "Sit up!"
"See all I've made," said God, "the hills, the sea, the
sky, the stars."
And I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look
around.
Lucky me, lucky mud.
I, mud, sat up and saw what a nice job God had done.
Nice going, God.
Nobody but you could have done it, God! I certainly
couldn't have.
I feel very unimportant compared to You.
The only way I can feel the least bit important is to
think of all the mud that didn't even get to sit up and
look around.
I got so much, and most mud got so little.
Thank you for the honor!
Now mud lies down again and goes to sleep.
What memories for mud to have!
What interesting other kinds of sitting-up mud I met!
I loved everything I saw!
Good night.
I will go to heaven now.
I can hardly wait...
To find out for certain what my wampeter was...
And who was in my karass...
And all the good things our karass did for you.
Amen.”

― Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle

 

[Bob Blaylock]

Before you marry someone you should have really great kickass sex and a really bitching argument

Lets you see the best and worst of the relationship

Obviously, you've never been married; if you think that you've just described the best or the worst of such a relationship. As of just a few days ago, I've been married, now, for twenty-three years. There is much better that I've experienced in my relationship with my wife than any mere sex, and there is much worse than any argument. Yours is a petty and immature view of what the marital experience is like.

 

[Votto]

Animals we use as beasts of burden, lock away in zoos or keep them as pets for our entertainment, or we just kill and eat them.

No, humans are not animals.

Granted, those not of faith have no real way to distinguish between the two, which helps explain why world leaders who are atheists tend to treat us all as animals.

Stop thumping your Bible. Scientifically speaking, we ARE animals.
There's flora and fauna on this planet. We are fauna, thus we are animals.
Our bodies work in a manner similar to animals even though we possess higher thought processes.
Nevertheless, we respond to physical needs and desires and thanks to our higher thought processes, we derive a good deal of emotional value as well. You may choose to interpret that as also spiritual as well but that does not change the nuts and bolts and mechanics of our physical bodies, which are animal bodies.

Who is thumping a Bible? When did I mention the Bible? I'm asking why is it OK to treat animals the way we do by locking them up in zoos, treating them as beasts of burden and then killing them and eating them? Why not do this to people as well?

I would assume to be intellectually consistent a secular humanist would have to adopt the views of someone at PETA. Killing animals is like killing people.

 

[rightwinger]

Before you marry someone you should have really great kickass sex and a really bitching argument

Lets you see the best and worst of the relationship

Obviously, you've never been married; if you think that you've just described the best or the worst of such a relationship. As of just a few days ago, I've been married, now, for twenty-three years. There is much better that I've experienced in my relationship with my wife than any mere sex, and there is much worse than any argument. Yours is a petty and immature view of what the marital experience is like.

Got ya beat Bobby

36 years

 

[Bob Blaylock]

Before you marry someone you should have really great kickass sex and a really bitching argument

Lets you see the best and worst of the relationship

Obviously, you've never been married; if you think that you've just described the best or the worst of such a relationship. As of just a few days ago, I've been married, now, for twenty-three years. There is much better that I've experienced in my relationship with my wife than any mere sex, and there is much worse than any argument. Yours is a petty and immature view of what the marital experience is like.

Got ya beat Bobby

36 years

Really? And in 36 years of marriage, “kickass sex” is the best experience you've had out of it? And “a really bitching argument” is the worst? I find that very difficult to believe, based on my own experience in 23 years of marriage. Those, to me, sound much more like what someone who is young and immature and who has never been married might imagine to be the best and worst things in marriage; as I said before, like a petty and immature view of what the marital experience is like.

 

[rightwinger]

Before you marry someone you should have really great kickass sex and a really bitching argument

Lets you see the best and worst of the relationship

Obviously, you've never been married; if you think that you've just described the best or the worst of such a relationship. As of just a few days ago, I've been married, now, for twenty-three years. There is much better that I've experienced in my relationship with my wife than any mere sex, and there is much worse than any argument. Yours is a petty and immature view of what the marital experience is like.

Got ya beat Bobby

36 years

Really? And in 36 years of marriage, “kickass sex” is the best experience you've had out of it? And “a really bitching argument” is the worst? I find that very difficult to believe, based on my own experience in 23 years of marriage. Those, to me, sound much more like what someone who is young and immature and who has never been married might imagine to be the best and worst things in marriage; as I said before, like a petty and immature view of what the marital experience is like.

Oh my...why do conservatives always deal in absolutes?

Yes, kick ass sex
Shows passion in the relationship. Yes, some marriages are passionless. Some relationships get by without it. But waiting until the wedding night to find out if you are sexually compatible is not a recipe for success

Same goes for a good argument. If you marry assuming everything is hugs and kisses you are in for disappointment. Seeing your prospective partner at their worst is a good indicator of the prospects of marital success

 

[IsaacNewton]

 

[Bob Blaylock]

Really? And in 36 years of marriage, “kickass sex” is the best experience you've had out of it? And “a really bitching argument” is the worst? …

Oh my...why do conservatives always deal in absolutes?

Yes, kick ass sex
Shows passion in the relationship. Yes, some marriages are passionless. Some relationships get by without it. But waiting until the wedding night to find out if you are sexually compatible is not a recipe for success

Same goes for a good argument. If you marry assuming everything is hugs and kisses you are in for disappointment. Seeing your prospective partner at their worst is a good indicator of the prospects of marital success

I'm having a difficult time wrapping my head around it.

Yes, sex with my wife is great. But it's far from the best thing that I've experienced out of our relationship. It seems awfully shallow, to me, to think that it is. Have you really never experienced anything in your relationship with your wife, that is in some way more satisfying, more uplifting, more enjoyable, more meaningful, than sex?

And arguing, I'll admit, is no fun. But that's not where my wife and I have ever seen the worst that we've seen in each other. The range between arguing and sex is awfully flat, compared to the range of my experiences in my relationship with my wife. Perhaps you just really are that shallow.

 

[rightwinger]

Really? And in 36 years of marriage, “kickass sex” is the best experience you've had out of it? And “a really bitching argument” is the worst? …

Oh my...why do conservatives always deal in absolutes?

Yes, kick ass sex
Shows passion in the relationship. Yes, some marriages are passionless. Some relationships get by without it. But waiting until the wedding night to find out if you are sexually compatible is not a recipe for success

Same goes for a good argument. If you marry assuming everything is hugs and kisses you are in for disappointment. Seeing your prospective partner at their worst is a good indicator of the prospects of marital success

I'm having a difficult time wrapping my head around it.

Yes, sex with my wife is great. But it's far from the best thing that I've experienced out of our relationship. It seems awfully shallow, to me, to think that it is. Have you really never experienced anything in your relationship with your wife, that is in some way more satisfying, more uplifting, more enjoyable, more meaningful, than sex?

And arguing, I'll admit, is no fun. But that's not where my wife and I have ever seen the worst that we've seen in each other. The range between arguing and sex is awfully flat, compared to the range of my experiences in my relationship with my wife. Perhaps you just really are that shallow.

Read the topic of the OP and get back to me

 

[ding]

That we used to is just a clear sign that morals are, and always were - relative.

You confuse absolute morals not being discovered with morals being relative. There is a final state of fact for all things, GT. We do live in a deterministic universe after all.

 

[ding]

The OP does not directly state it but it seems implied to me. The question is or should be is casual sex as good as sex with someone you are deeply in love with. The answer to that question is no. Not even close.

 

[G.T.]

That we used to is just a clear sign that morals are, and always were - relative.

You confuse absolute morals not being discovered with morals being relative. There is a final state of fact for all things, GT. We do live in a deterministic universe after all.

your posts dont matter 2 me ding

 

[Cecilie1200]

Before you marry someone you should have really great kickass sex and a really bitching argument

Lets you see the best and worst of the relationship

I see, so before you buy the car have a spin to see if you really want to buy it?

Sounds like love to me.

If sex is your way of determining whether or not you want to be married to someone, you're doing it wrong: both the determining AND the sex.

 

[Cecilie1200]

i love lots of people that i dont want to have sex with.... or be married to.

and i wouldnt wanna marry everyone i love ...what, then, can seperate whom id marry from others i love?


ohhhh....sex prolly.

if it(sex) isnt compatable we arent talking marriage, we're talking strong friendship.

gotta check that out 1st before committing for life. itd be sillyness not to.

And if, God forbid, something happens to you or your spouse that ends the sex? Does that mean the marriage is over?

And seriously, for the life of me, I can't understand how other people are having sex that it has some mystical "compatibility" component. What is THAT all about? Do you find the person attractive or repulsive? If the answer is "attractive", then you've got your compatibility, and the rest is a matter of learning and growing together.

Meanwhile, that "strong friendship" you talk about so disparagingly is exactly what you SHOULD be working for in a long-term relationship.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Its crazy how many people argue that sex only belongs in marriage. And who is really practising that?

Human sufferring is related to many things. Sex is the least of them.

"Who is really practicing that?" Yeah, and how's THAT working out?

I suspect that if you're not seeing a connection between our sexual mores and human suffering, you're just not following the causal chain very well.

 

[CrusaderFrank]

One of my first girlfriends said that I didn't know the difference between love and sex and I told her that I was pretty clear on the difference

 

[Cecilie1200]

Before you marry someone you should have really great kickass sex and a really bitching argument

Lets you see the best and worst of the relationship

Obviously, you've never been married; if you think that you've just described the best or the worst of such a relationship. As of just a few days ago, I've been married, now, for twenty-three years. There is much better that I've experienced in my relationship with my wife than any mere sex, and there is much worse than any argument. Yours is a petty and immature view of what the marital experience is like.

Got ya beat Bobby

36 years

Really? And in 36 years of marriage, “kickass sex” is the best experience you've had out of it? And “a really bitching argument” is the worst? I find that very difficult to believe, based on my own experience in 23 years of marriage. Those, to me, sound much more like what someone who is young and immature and who has never been married might imagine to be the best and worst things in marriage; as I said before, like a petty and immature view of what the marital experience is like.

So tell me, my fellow member of the Two-Decade Club, what was YOUR best and worst experience of marriage, if you don't mind sharing? I think a more balanced view of committed life-building might be of use.

 

[G.T.]

i love lots of people that i dont want to have sex with.... or be married to.

and i wouldnt wanna marry everyone i love ...what, then, can seperate whom id marry from others i love?


ohhhh....sex prolly.

if it(sex) isnt compatable we arent talking marriage, we're talking strong friendship.

gotta check that out 1st before committing for life. itd be sillyness not to.

And if, God forbid, something happens to you or your spouse that ends the sex? Does that mean the marriage is over?

And seriously, for the life of me, I can't understand how other people are having sex that it has some mystical "compatibility" component. What is THAT all about? Do you find the person attractive or repulsive? If the answer is "attractive", then you've got your compatibility, and the rest is a matter of learning and growing together.

Meanwhile, that "strong friendship" you talk about so disparagingly is exactly what you SHOULD be working for in a long-term relationship.

i didnt disparage anything

 

[Michelle420]

Animals we use as beasts of burden, lock away in zoos or keep them as pets for our entertainment, or we just kill and eat them.

No, humans are not animals.

Granted, those not of faith have no real way to distinguish between the two, which helps explain why world leaders who are atheists tend to treat us all as animals.

Stop thumping your Bible. Scientifically speaking, we ARE animals.
There's flora and fauna on this planet. We are fauna, thus we are animals.
Our bodies work in a manner similar to animals even though we possess higher thought processes.
Nevertheless, we respond to physical needs and desires and thanks to our higher thought processes, we derive a good deal of emotional value as well. You may choose to interpret that as also spiritual as well but that does not change the nuts and bolts and mechanics of our physical bodies, which are animal bodies.

Who is thumping a Bible? When did I mention the Bible? I'm asking why is it OK to treat animals the way we do by locking them up in zoos, treating them as beasts of burden and then killing them and eating them? Why not do this to people as well?

I would assume to be intellectually consistent a secular humanist would have to adopt the views of someone at PETA. Killing animals is like killing people.

Cannibalism is becoming popular.

 

[Cecilie1200]

i love lots of people that i dont want to have sex with.... or be married to.

and i wouldnt wanna marry everyone i love ...what, then, can seperate whom id marry from others i love?


ohhhh....sex prolly.

if it(sex) isnt compatable we arent talking marriage, we're talking strong friendship.

gotta check that out 1st before committing for life. itd be sillyness not to.

And if, God forbid, something happens to you or your spouse that ends the sex? Does that mean the marriage is over?

And seriously, for the life of me, I can't understand how other people are having sex that it has some mystical "compatibility" component. What is THAT all about? Do you find the person attractive or repulsive? If the answer is "attractive", then you've got your compatibility, and the rest is a matter of learning and growing together.

Meanwhile, that "strong friendship" you talk about so disparagingly is exactly what you SHOULD be working for in a long-term relationship.

i didnt disparage anything

Yes, you did. You may not have meant to, but that's what it comes down to anyway. You very clearly consider that relationship to be somehow less than the infatuation of physical arousal.