A little boy, age 6 or so, is on the mall with his grandfather. They get separated. Terrified, the child runs to a security guard: "I've lost my grandpa! I've lost my grandpa!" The security guard seeks to calm the child. "That's OK, son - we'll find him for you, don't worry. What's he like?" The child thinks for a moment and then responds: "Jack Daniels and women with big tits."