Losing weight with SEX !!!

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Sandy73, Jul 2, 2004.

  1. Sandy73
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    Sandy73 Guest

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    It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now
    nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different
    sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research they are
    proud to present the results.

    REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
    With her consent.................................12 Calories
    Without her consent............................2187 Calories

    OPENING HER BRA:
    With both hands.................................8 Calories
    With one hand...................................12 Calories
    With your teeth.................................485 Calories

    PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
    With an erection..................................6 Calories
    Without an erection............................3315 Calories

    POSITIONS: Missionary.........................................12
    Calories
    69 lying down...................................78 Calories
    69 standing up..................................812 Calories
    Wheelbarrow....................................216 Calories
    Doggy Style......................................326 Calories
    Italian chandelier...............................2912 Calories

    ORGASMS:
    Real.............................................112 Calories
    Fake............................................1315 Calories

    POST ORGASM:
    Lying in bed hugging.............................18 Calories
    Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories
    Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.......816 Calories

    GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
    20-29 years....................................36 Calories 30-39
    years....................................80 Calories
    40-49 years....................................124 Calories
    50-59 years....................................1972 Calories
    60-69 years....................................7916 Calories
    70 and over....................................Results are still pending

    DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
    Calmly......................................................32 Calories
    In a hurry.................................................98 Calories
    With her father knocking at the door...........5218 Calories
    With your wife knocking at the door...........13,521 Calories

    Please NOTE: Results may vary.
     
  2. KLSuddeth
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    KLSuddeth Guest

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    No wonder DK and I still look so damn good.......:p:
    :dev1:
     
  3. 5stringJeff
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    5stringJeff Senior Member

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    [plugging ears]

    LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

    [/plugging ears]
     
  4. KLSuddeth
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    KLSuddeth Guest

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    ROFLMAO

    Yes I know it was vulgar - forgive me

    :p:
     
  5. DKSuddeth
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    DKSuddeth Senior Member

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    dear lord

    :cof:
     
  6. KLSuddeth
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    KLSuddeth Guest

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    odd response from you, hon....being that youre so megalomaniacal and all.....:p:
     
  7. Semper Fi
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    Semper Fi VIP Member

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    Ewwwwwwww.
     
  8. Avatar4321
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    Avatar4321 Diamond Member Gold Supporting Member

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    What the heck is the Italian Chandalier or do i want to know?

    And i heard Leno talking about this one night. He said you burn about 3000 calories if you try to have sex while she has panty hose on so women be care if your husband ever comes home and says he lost 20lbs doing Jenny Craig.
     

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