Lone Ranger and Tonto

Discussion in 'Humor' started by dilloduck, Sep 17, 2004.

  1. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    > The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they
    > got
    > > their tent all set up, they fell sound asleep.
    > Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo
    > Sabe,
    > look towards sky, what you see?"
    > The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
    > "What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
    > The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute, then says, "Astronomically
    > speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and
    > potentially
    > billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is
    > in
    > Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past
    > three in
    > the morning. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is
    > all-powerful and
    > we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we
    > will
    > have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?" Tonto is
    > silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabe, you dumb
    > ass.
    > Someone has stolen tent."
    >
    >
     
  2. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    Lone Ranger and Tonto were being held prisoner...While tied to a post his trusty steed, Silver pokes his head out of some bushes. Ranger whistles, and Silver comes close.

    Ranger whispers in Silver's ear; then the horse gallops off.

    30 minutes pass, and Silver comes back with a VERY Hot young woman riding in the saddle. Perplexed, Lone Ranger whispers again...same conclusion, Silver Gallops off quickly.

    Another 30 minutes brings ANOTHER hot young woman...

    Flabbergasted, the Lone Ranger blurts out - "You dumb Horse...I said POSSE!!!"
     
  3. Joz
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    Joz Senior Member

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    The Lone Ranger stops at a saloon for a drink while he sends Tonto on an errand. The horses are tied up outside in the sun. One of the horses are overcome with heat. The sherrif comes into the saloon and chastises The Lone Ranger.
    Next trip into town, the Lone Ranger stops at the same saloon. He tells Tonto to run around the horses to keep a breeze blowing so the horses are kept cool.
    Before long, someone comes into the saloon & says, "Whose horses are those outside"?
    The Lone Ranger says, "Mine, NOW what"?
    The man says, "Nuthin', I just wanted to let you know you left you injun running".
     
  4. musicman
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    musicman Senior Member

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    The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding out on the prairie, when, suddenly, they are encircled by 2,000 angry Sioux braves. The Lone Ranger says, "Well, what are we going to do now, Tonto?" Tonto, slowly backing his horse into the circle, says, "What you mean 'WE', Paleface"?
     

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