List-Stupid occupational pick-up lines.

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Pappadave, Aug 30, 2010.

  1. Pappadave
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    Pappadave Member

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    I am a carpenter, I want to nail you.

    I am a plumber, I want to ream you with my plunger.

    I am an electrician, I want to give you a jolt of my high voltage juice,

    I am a fireman, I want to hose you.

    I am a judge, I want to lay my law within you.

    I am a preacher, want to infuse you with my rapture and ecstasy.

    I am a weatherman, I want to relieve my high pressure center in you.

    I am an explorer, I want to explore your every nook and cranny.

    I am a surveyor, I want to measure you with my ruler.

    I am a salesman, I want to give you a sample of my wares.

    I am a businessman, I want to incorporate you.

    I am a butcher, I want to stuff my sausage in you.

    I am a baker, I want to show you how my yeast always rises to the occasion.

    I am a shoemaker, I want your booty.

    I am a doctor, I want to inject you.

    I am a cook, I want to taste you.

    I am a manufacturer, I want to make you and incorporate with you.

    I am a boiler operator, I want to stoke your fire.

    I am a HVAC installer, I want to heat you up and cool you down.

    I am a TV repairman, I want to fix my antenna and fine tune your knobs.

    I am an artillery man, I want to shoot my wad in you.

    I am an injured heavy hauler, I want to give you my load.

    I am a farmer, I want to plant my seed in you.

    Me, I am a beggar, Please?

    Add to the list, especially the ladies. Peace, Love, and Faith. Pappadave
     
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2010
  2. Mr. H.
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    Mr. H. Diamond Member

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    I am a walrus. Koo koo ka choo.
     
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  3. Pappadave
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    Pappadave Member

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    A few more.

    I am a machinist, I want to drill you.

    I am a florist, I want to pollinate your stamen with my pistil.

    I am a hunter, I want you on my point.

    I am a communist, I want to commune with you.

    I am a bee-keeper, I want to sample your nectar.

    Pappadave.
     
  4. Pappadave
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    Pappadave Member

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    And more.

    I am a taxidermist, I want to mount you.

    I am a cowboy, I want a bucking ride in your saddle.

    I am a recruiter for Uncle Sam, I want you.

    I am a building engineer, I want you to ride up my high rise.

    I am a facilitator, I want us to facilitate each other.

    I am a creative artist, I want to make you.

    I am a steelmaker, I want to cast my ingot in your mold.

    Pappadave.
     
  5. Mr. H.
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    Mr. H. Diamond Member

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    I'm a plumber.

    I'm gonna ram it up yer poop chute.
     
  6. syrenn
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    syrenn BANNED

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    Im a politician ...you can trust me.
     
  7. midcan5
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    midcan5 liberal / progressive

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    I am a manhole cover remover.
    You're what?
    A manhole cover remover.
    Jeez, I've never heard that was a job?
    Oh definitely, a tough and complicated job.
    Yea.
    Yep, here come over and sit for a bit and I'll tell you some interesting stories.


    A woman is always half in love with a man who listens to her - and vise versa. Can't remember where I heard or read that. The manhole cover was an old GI story told by the lonesome to pass the time in a barracks long ago.
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2010
  8. strollingbones
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    strollingbones Diamond Member

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    i use to go drinking with a friend who was irish...he would ask a woman....'got any irish in ya' they would say no....he would reply...'would you like some irish in ya'
     
  9. Mad Scientist
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    Mad Scientist Deplorable Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl:
     

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