Liberal Jokes

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Shooter, Dec 19, 2010.

  1. Shooter
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    Shooter Semper Fi

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    Question: What is the difference between Carville and a catfish?
    Answer: One’s a scum sucking bottom dweller and ones a fish.

    Question: What’s the difference between Carville and a bald monkey?
    Answer: A sports jacket.

    Question: If you were in a room with Hitler, Mussolini and Carville and you only had two bullets what should you do?
    Answer: Shoot Carville twice.

    Question: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and Carville?
    Answer: One has a Radio Show and is the most listened to in America and the other is a loud mouth bald liberal looser.

    Question: Why can’t liberals find facts?
    Answer: They aren’t looking for any.

    Question: How do liberals brain cells die?
    Answer: Lonely.

    Question: How do you confuse a liberal?
    Answer: You don’t, they are born that way

    Question: If Hillary, Bill and all the liberals are on a sinking ship, who gets saved?
    Answer: We do.

    Question: What’s the difference between an Iraq terrorist and a liberal?
    Answer: The Iraq terrorist makes fewer demands.

    Question: What’s the difference between liberals and cow pies?
    Answer: Cow pies stop stinking after awhile

    Question: Did you hear about the new liberal agenda.
    Answer: They got two hands in your front pocket and two in you back pockets.

    Question: What’s the definition of a liberal genius?
    Answer: A liberal who can count all 50 states.

    Question: What do you get when you cross a Jackass with an onion?
    Answer: A whinny Liberal.

    Question: How is being at a Democrat convention different from being at the circus?
    Answer: At the circus the clowns don’t beg and whine at you.

    Question: How many Liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
    Answer: It takes ten, nine to deny that darkness exists and one to hire a Republican to change it.

    Question: How much does a Liberal cost?
    Answer: Nothing, Liberals have no values.

    Question: How many chromosomes does a Liberal have?
    Answer: Only 45, they are missing the “Truth Acceptance Chromosome.”

    Question: What is the difference between Liberalism and Communism?
    Answer: The Communist admit it.

    Question: How high can a Liberal’s I-Q go?
    Answer: Only as high as the Liberal Spin they receive.

    Question: Why do Liberals lie?
    Answer: It comes natural

    Question: What is a Liberal’s primary “feeling?”
    Answer: Envy.

    Question: What is a sure way to teach a Liberal to fetch?
    Answer: Tie Bill Clinton’s picture to a stick and throw it.

    Question: Why do flies fly over Liberals heads?
    Answer: They have crap for brains.

    Question: How can you tell a group of Liberals?
    Answer: They are the ones burning the American Flag.

    Question: How can you tell a group of Liberals?
    Answer: They are the ones burning the Constitution

    Question: What is the difference between a Liberal and a bucket of old cheese?
    Answer: The bucket

    Question: What is the difference between giving to the poor and giving to Liberals?
    Answer: The poor don’t follow you around for three weeks whining for more.

    Question: Why did God make Liberal smarter than rats?
    Answer: He didn’t.

    Question: How do you drown a Liberal?
    You paint Bill Clinton’s face at the bottom of a pool.

    Question: Why do Liberals like smart women?
    Answer: Opposites attract.

    Question: Why is it so hard for Liberals to make eye contact?
    Answer: Clinton’s rear doesn’t have eyes.

    Question: Why is it so hard for Liberals to see?
    Answer: There are no lights in Clinton’s rear.

    Question: How can you tell between cow pies and Liberals?
    Answer: You Can’t.
     
  2. editec
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    editec Mr. Forgot-it-All

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    That one was actually pretty funny.

    The rest?

    Neh...
     

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