Ladies please don't hate me, my son sent this to me!!!

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Stephanie, Sep 16, 2005.

  1. Stephanie
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    Stephanie Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    Tim M. Lael
    Vehicle Database Specialist (HD)
    Hunter Engineering Company





    A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.





    After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."





    MALE PROCEDURE:





    1. Drive up to the cash machine.





    2. Put down your car window.





    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.





    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.





    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.





    6. Put window up.





    7. Drive off.


    ***********************************************************





    FEMALE PROCEDURE:





    1. Drive up to cash machine.





    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.





    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.





    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.





    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up





    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.





    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.





    8. Insert card.





    9. Re-insert card the right way.





    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.





    11. Enter PIN.





    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.





    13. Enter amount of cash required.





    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.





    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.





    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.





    17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.





    18. Re-check makeup.





    19. Drive forward 2 feet.





    20. Reverse back to cash machine.





    21. Retrieve card.





    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.





    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.





    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.





    25. Redial person on cell phone.





    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.





    27. Release Parking Brake.
     
  2. fuzzykitten99
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    fuzzykitten99 Senior Member

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    i don't do the typical woman thing, but i have seen so many women do just that.
     
  3. Nienna
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    Nienna Senior Member

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    My Personal Instructions For ATM Use:

    1) Call husband.
    2) Tell him how much cash you need.
    3) Remind him to tell you the exact amount that he withdrew, including fees and that "little extra" that he decided he needed for himself, so you can record it in the checkbook.
    4) Call again twice to remind him.
    5) Continue work at home until he brings the "bacon."
    6) Hug him and kiss him and tell him how sweet he is to do this for you.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  4. kurtsprincess
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    kurtsprincess Active Member

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    This is absolutely the best advice I've ever been given. Thanks mom4!!!!

    Can't wait to pass on to my daughter. :cheers2: :cheers2:
     
  5. Nienna
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    Nienna Senior Member

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    I find it very helpful, since I don't get out much.
     

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