Kids

[Colin]

Teenagers suck! Kids are at their best when young:

I was packing for a business trip and my three year old daughter was
having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said,
'Daddy, look at this' , and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny
fingers in my mouth and said, 'Daddy's going to eat your fingers,'
pretending to eat them.

I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing
on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, 'What's wrong, honey?'

She replied,

'What happened to my bogey?'


What are your best kids stories?

 

[goldcatt]

When my kids were just over a year, we were living in Missouri at the time and I had them out shopping. My daughter saw something with a frog on it, so she pointed and said "frog", only being so little of course it came out "fuck".
I heard a gasp and turned around to see a little blue-haired woman behind me looking like she was about to have a coronary. My daughter saw her too. Being the proud little thing she was, she pointed at the frog again, said "fuck", then pointed at the woman and said "you lady"!
I've never laughed so hard in my life.

 

[editec]

My 4 y.o. daughter and I were in the car waiting for her mother.

Suddenly a flock of birds landed in the yard in front of us, some on grass and some in a young tree on the lawn.

Greta, a fan of Sesame Street at the time, pointed at them counted them aloud saying:

Look Daddy, Six birds! 1, 2, 3, 6!

"What do you mean 1,2,3,6?, I asked. What happened to numbers 4 and 5?

"Daddy, she said condensending, as though I were a complete idiot: they're in the tree!"

Sure enough, there in the tree sat two birds -- the ones she'd labeled bird-four and bird-five.

 

[William Joyce]

My 2-year-old girl was playing with a wooden chest. The top fell down and went "bang" really loud. She said, "I made a damnit."

My wife and I laughed for an hour.

 

[Mr. H.]

I think I posted this in another thread but - I was trying to get the kids to eat their vegetables at dinner. "There's vitamins and nutrients in them. Veggies keep you healthy and prevent disease. Heck they might even save your life by keeping you healthy."

The four year old looks at his plate and says "Dad, I could get shot tomorrow and that potato couldn't do a thing about it".