Kids

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Mr. P, Jan 24, 2006.

  1. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    To those of us who have children in our lives,
    whether they are our own,
    grandchildren,
    nieces,
    nephews,
    or students...
    here is something to make you chuckle.

    Whenever your children are out of control,
    you can take comfort from the thought that
    even God's omnipotence did not extend
    to His own children.

    After creating heaven and earth,
    God created Adam and Eve.

    And the first thing he said was
    "DON'T!"





    "Don't what?"
    Adam replied.



    "Don't eat the forbidden fruit."
    God said.





    "Forbidden fruit?
    We have forbidden fruit?
    Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!"



    "No Way!"



    "Yes way!"



    "Do NOT eat the fruit! "
    said God.



    "Why?"



    "Because I am your Father and I said so! "

    God replied,
    wondering why He hadn't stopped
    creation after making the elephants.

    A few minutes later,
    God saw His children having an apple break
    and He was ticked!

    "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? "
    God asked.



    "Uh huh,"
    Adam replied.



    "Then why did you? "
    said the Father.




    "I don't know,"
    said Eve.



    "She started it! "
    Adam said.



    "Did not! "



    "Did too! "



    "DID NOT! "



    Having had it with the two of them,
    God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
    should have children of their own.

    Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.


    BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

    If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it,
    don't be hard on yourself.

    If God had trouble raising children,
    what makes you think it would be
    a piece of cake for you?



    THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

    1. You spend the first two years of their life
    teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
    the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.



    2. Grandchildren are God's reward
    for not killing your own children.



    3. Mothers of teens now know why
    some animals eat their young.



    4. Children seldom misquote you.

    In fact,
    they usually repeat word for word
    what you shouldn't have said.





    5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
    is to remind yourself that there are children
    more awful than your own.



    6. We childproofed our homes,
    but they are still getting in.







    ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

    Be nice to your kids.
    They will choose your
    nursing home one day.



    AND FINALLY:



    IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
    AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
    DO WHAT IT SAYS
    ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:



    "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN"
    AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
     

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