Karthik+Durga at Byzantium: A Trump Diorama!

Abishai100

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Sep 22, 2013
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This is a culture-parody story I wrote about the Hindu deities Durga (goddess of dharma) and Karthik (child-god of youth) relevant to the consumerism-complexities of the profit-motive negotiations of our arguably capitalism-subjective 'TrumpUSA.'

The story is meant to make me feel better about our Starbucks culture and allow me to say things like "The Starbucks siren-mermaid logo is like the goddess Durga watching over humanity!" Such Utopian politics makes me feel better about President Trump's bizarre statements in the press during his controversial presidential campaign (which prompted so many civilian protests!).

I'm Christian by faith, but my parents are Hindu, so I grew up reading Hindu mythology/fables.

Enjoy!



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Durga was very concerned when she learned that her husband Shiva's favorite NFL team the Oakland Raiders was being moved to the casino-city of Las Vegas. She decided to descend upon Earth as a Raiders fan and supermodel named Evelyn and consult with the Raiders owners about the dangers of the move, given that Vegas was considered a town for recreational gambling! When Durga/Evelyn arrived in Vegas, she found the American celebrity Tom Cruise playing roulette at Caesar's Palace with Karthik (son of Parvati and ward of Shiva!). Karthik was disguised as a car-salesman named Evans.

Evelyn was at Caesar's Palace with two executives of the Oakland Raiders, on a special tourism visit to absorb the culture of the casino-lit city. She approached Cruise and Karthik/Evans with the two executives and began chatting with them.

EVELYN: It's funny that Vegas finds you here, Mr. Cruise with...this young man?
EVANS: Yes, we've become fast-friends. You're here on behalf of the Raiders?
CRUISE: Won't you join us at this Roulette table?
RAIDERS EXECUTIVES: No thanks, we're here just to do some culture research.

Evelyn and the Raiders executives discovered that Evans and Cruise were in Vegas with Donald Trump (host of the venture-program Celebrity Apprentice!). Evelyn told Trump and Cruise (in front of Evans and the Raiders executives) that moving the NFL team to the iconic casino-city would send people the message that sports in the modern era was too much focused on lucrative trades, free-agency, and sports-betting. Cruise agreed with Evelyn and suggested to Trump that he should talk about the Raiders move on his show Celebrity Apprentice, and Trump agreed about the 'cultural-shrewdness' of the planned message!).

After Trump talked about the Raiders moving to Vegas on his show, the Raiders executives reconsidered their hasty plan and discussed possible alternatives to moving to Vegas (including moving back to Los Angeles or relocating to Portland, Oregon). Evelyn/Durga was very happy and returned to the heavens to deliver the good news to her husband Shiva (a huge Raiders fan). She was shocked to discover, however, that Shiva was busy smoking cherry-tobacco and already brooding about the news that the Raiders were moving to Vegas, so she consoled her husband and made him feel very much better about 'Starbucks culture' on Earth.

DURGA: Why are you brooding and smoking tobacco, my lord?
SHIVA: I've heard news that the Raiders are moving to Vegas...
DURGA: Come on now, that's not as troubling as news of Sunni-Shia conflicts in the Middle East.
SHIVA: I know, but I love football, and I fear this Raiders-Vegas move is indicative of 'Starbucks-gluttony.'
DURGA: Americans love consumerism, and you never know, Donald Trump might become President!
SHIVA: Perhaps, but such a development worries me that humanity has lost its temperance...
DURGA: Not to worry! I've persuaded the Raiders executives to reconsider...
SHIVA: What?? You went down to Earth without telling me? It's dangerous!
DURGA: I was in disguise (and found your ward Karthik there playing roulette and with Donald Trump!).
SHIVA: Well...if all of this 'coordination' was managed by you my wife, I'm sure something positive will emerge.
DURGA: That's exactly what's happened. See, 'Starbucks-culture' can be...negotiable, my lord!
SHIVA: In that case, I will vote for Donald Trump and hope he becomes a 'capitalism-diplomat' U.S. President!

When Durga realized how happy her husband Shiva was, she decided to take the young Karthik on a trip to Disney World so they could celebrate. When she arrived there with him, they discovered Shiva was there too (at the Epcot Center!) with champagne. Shiva told Durga and Karthik, "Disney World is like Byzantium," and Durga replied, "Las Vegas is like the Outback!" Shiva wondered how he would persuade Donald Trump to run for President. Meanwhile, Shiva's enemy Ravana plotted to sabotage Shiva and go to Trump and tell him, "Make sure if you run for President, you say incendiary things in the press such as, 'America is a land of comedy'!"

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