Kal-El's Opium: Dianetics/Geritol

Abishai100

VIP Member
Sep 22, 2013
4,956
250
85
This is a capitalism-idealism hallucination-parable inspired by Mystery Men.

Signing off,




eagle.jpg

====

Kurt Kent was an alien superhuman with a very handsome human-like appearance whose superhero name was Kal-El (as in 'Super-Man'). Kal-El worked as a journalist at the Daily Planet newspaper in Metropolis (NY) under the normal-name Kurt Kent (KK). KK was on assignment for the NSA (National Security Agency) to develop a competitive opium and marijuana international market to help America compete with the Netherlands and South America. KK's opium-and-hash ring stretched from Amsterdam to British Columbia. He had built himself a home-chateau (with secret basement communications-operation center) in Prince Edward Island (Canada). KK's mission was to use his strength (as 'Kal-El') to rid the world of criminal narcotics operations threatening anarchistic street-violence in underprivileged Third World Countries.

sun1.jpg

KK set up another satellite for his opium-and-hash ring in Rajasthan (India) and worked closely with the Indian police to set up a fancy restaurant chain called Kal-El Herb (KEB). KK's work for the NSA flourished as did KEB in Rajasthan. KK hired the Rajasthani police to secure the daily operations of KEB (which served opium-and-hash brownies). The goal was to make medicinal substances with hallucinogenic effects more popular than hard dangerous drugs like heroin, crack, and crystal-meth. KEB became a very respectable chain, and California politician Arnold Schwarzenegger made a lucrative contract between KEB and Planet Hollywood. Soon films like Homegrown and Half-Baked were considered 'anti-Communism rhetoric' (for superheroes and aliens!). Rajasthan's economy expectedly improved. Capitalism was saving the day(!).

sun3.jpg

Unfortunately, criminal activities surfaced and the villainous global crime-master Lex Luthor created 'unwanted waves' with his heroin operation involving stewardesses in Russia, Holland, New Zealand, and Columbia. Kal-El was so scared for humanity, but he continued to trust that old-world style police-secured 'opium-saloons' were far safer than Luthor's heroin operation. KK even used the Daily Planet to market KEB as a 'hardline approach' to the problem of peer-pressure catalysed drug abuse (from glamourized society gossip about Pablo Escobar). KEB's motto was "If you can come in and ingest medicinal herbs in small quantities in a police-secured environment, wouldn't you feel no longer interest (as a species!) to explore hard-drug street-alley abuse (e.g., among the homeless)?" KEB also delivered ads like, "When we retire from the business, we want your promise that you'll quit all drugs altogether as a global culture!" Suddenly, medicinal marijuana lobbyists in D.C. were no longer considered "lunatics."

sun2.jpg

Fortunately, Kal-El's connection to the Rajasthani Police (India) made his daring feats fighting crime a thing of pure beauty. The NSA awarded KK with a special 'commerce-culture' peace-mission Medal of Honor! KEB was becoming a little-brother to Planet Hollywood, and Hollywood (USA) film-makers such as Steven Spielberg and Michael Moore began planning films about revolutionary sentiments among global pedestrians and travellers. A Spielberg translation of Kerouac's On the Road was being set in Moscow and told the story of the improbable crusade of Kal-El in the underworld of narcotics evangelism. Spielberg's film began with the narrative comment, "Humans trusted a superhuman-alien (Kal-El) to use drug-control to curb hard-drug use, since everyone trusted him...especially since he could fly!" What Kal-El did was he reversed the descent-trend of gateway-reality drug use (e.g., college students progressing from beer to marijuana to opium to heroin to crack-cocaine). Now, heroin-addicts weened off heroin by ingesting opium at KEB and then checking into a drug-rehabilitation center. Kal-El said, "A normal human couldn't have done this, since people wouldn't believe he was like God!"

sun4.jpg

American police made sure that the media-campaign was focused on the fact that KEB and Kal-El's work was meant to inspire dialogue about what kinds of peer-pressure made gateway drug-abuse a reality among the youth of the world! After all, the opium-and-hash brownies KEB sold had no narcotic-chemicals in them (they were extracted). That's why drug-addicts felt comfortable to visit KEB and use it as a very discreet and very private 'drug-withdrawal' treatment haven. It was so much more meaningful than Planet Hollywood, and now (thanks to Arnold's shrewd political maneuverings), Planet Hollywood was sharing in the profits and helping to create media spotlights for Kal-El's work for the NSA.

sun7.jpg

Annabelle was a demonic-doll from old American folklore. A young American girl named Patty carried the original Annabelle doll (she inherited it from her grandma) as her precious kindred-spirit. There were 1,000 Annabelle dolls in all around the world, and Patty's original-authentic doll was valued at over $1 million. Patty's Annabelle-doll caught the eye of a film-maker who made a modernized puppetry-horror film. The film-maker claimed Annabelle reminded him of how consumer-relics (e.g., dolls and action-figures) invoked the invisible spirits of guiding forces leading us towards capitalism vitality or capitalism doom. Annabelle was the new Barbie.

sun6.jpg

As imagined, comic books benefitted from all this action. Detective Comics and King Features Syndicate immortalized Kal-El's opium-and-hash crusade against heroin and crack and even referred to him as the newly-created 'detective-hero' known as Red Cape (RC). RC was very popular among ethnic minority kids across America who suddenly had a 'real-life' Fat Albert they could admire and praise as a totem of anti-narcotics urban idealism. RC stories were now being adapted into a Hollywood (USA) film directed by Tim Burton and starring Matt Damon. It was all capitalism poetry...

sun8.jpg

A very chic fashion and perfume magnate named YSL decided to sell a dedicatory-perfume called Opium. YSL claimed it was Kal-El and RC who inspired Opium, and it smelled like cinnamon and jasmine (and opium!). YSL's Opium perfume became very popular for Christmas shoppers, and suddenly, everyone was talking about the metaphysical 'magic' of social commerce wisdom rather than the 'gloom' of heroin-abuse hellmouths(!). Opium was so popular that KK purchased a bottle for his new girlfriend Stana Lane for Valentine's Day(!). Opium was the new Pepsi.

sun11.jpg

American fitness-gear owner Kate Hudson (of Fabletics) wanted to make a contract with Opium, so she had her agents contact YSL and KK, and soon, more commercial gears towards social Utopianism were in motion. KK and Stana Lane cooked Kate Hudson a delicious Indian dinner one night on Lane's yacht (off the coast of Connecticut) on St. Patrick's Day! Fabletics and Opium were going to reinvent what consumers regarded as 'sane capitalism.' Kids started watching films like Pee-Wee's Big Adventure instead of Hoodlum.

sun10.jpg

GOD: I can't believe what Kal-El achieved for the NSA.
SATAN: Only in America...
GOD: Hey, this involved Rajasthan, Canada, and Holland too!
SATAN: Surely, this will create hype for World Cup Russia.
GOD: I love soccer, and I think media creates nice teamwork-parades.
SATAN: Competitive sports is marketed widely in the modern era.
GOD: Sure! That's why Tom Cruise made Jerry Maguire (sports-culture cinema).
SATAN: How come humans listen to an alien-superhuman but not you?
GOD: An alien-superhuman feels like an angel or leprechaun (which appeals to kids).
SATAN: Kal-El reversed the horror of gateway drug-abuse with clever sarcastic marketing.
GOD: Sarcasm is the hallmark of modern crusades/journalism (e.g., The Insider).
SATAN: This should do wonders for the obsidian-jewelry market.
GOD: Yes, I think herb-and-mineral accessory sales should spike!
SATAN: Capitalism doesn't have to feel like a pure abyss of pornography.
GOD: No. We need more comic books.
SATAN: Let's watch Captain America on Netflix!

====


:dance:


sun5.jpg
 
Selling Dreams



====

GOD: Facebook steals your soul...
SATAN: People like to surf the Web however.
GOD: Smartphones have made people lazy.
SATAN: Perhaps, but eBay can be fun!
GOD: Kids will become comic book obsessed.
SATAN: There's nothing wrong with Supergirl (DC Comics).
GOD: Young girls should shop chaperoned...
SATAN: Moms like taking daughters to Ross, the Gap, and Disneyland.
GOD: I wonder if toys and accessories promote self-consciousness.
SATAN: American boys become obsessed with war-toys.
GOD: It's like the merchant of modern times is 'selling dreams.'
SATAN: In that case, let's toast some champagne to ChiPs.
GOD: Yes, that fun bike-cop TV show is classic and symbolic!
SATAN: Let's hope consumerism produces some kind of Hans Christian Andersen.

====


fashion1.jpg
 

New Topics

Forum List

Back
Top