Just For Laughs

[rayboyusmc]

I thought this fit in this section best.

New - Heaviest Element on the Periodic Table

Now it's been documented.. Governmentium (Gv)
A new addition to "Chemistry's Periodic Table " with the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium(Gv), has one neuron, 25 assistant neurons, 88 deputy neurons, and 198 assistant deputy neurons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.


These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium(GV) has no electrons, it is inert; however, can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium(GV) can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.


Governmentium(GV) has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neurons and deputy neurons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neurons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium(GV) is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass!


When catalyzed with money, Governmentium(GV) becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium(GV) since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.