Joys (sort of) of Christmas

[DGS49]

Remember how the biggest irritation for Dad's on Christmas was figuring out the instructions on how to build some large toy that you were giving the kids on Christmas Eve?

Now that erection-irritation has been replaced with the incredibly difficult task of just getting the f*cking toys out of the armor-plated bubble wrap! You need to have, (1) a VERY sharp knife, (2) a good pair of scissors, (3) a couple screw drivers (tools) and (4) a couple screw drivers (highballs).

Otherwise, the air will be blue with your ejaculations of irritation as you struggle, cut yourself, make a fool of yourself, and pinch various body parts, just getting the toy out so that it can sit safely under the tree.

And it's not one kids' toys. My wife bought me a wrench set, and it took half an hour to get it out and remove the plastic structure holding the tools in the case.

Who designs this stuff and the packaging? I realize there are "security" issues, but really....

 

[Pogo]

Remember how the biggest irritation for Dad's on Christmas was figuring out the instructions on how to build some large toy that you were giving the kids on Christmas Eve?

Now that erection-irritation has been replaced with the incredibly difficult task of just getting the f*cking toys out of the armor-plated bubble wrap! You need to have, (1) a VERY sharp knife, (2) a good pair of scissors, (3) a couple screw drivers (tools) and (4) a couple screw drivers (highballs).

Otherwise, the air will be blue with your ejaculations of irritation as you struggle, cut yourself, make a fool of yourself, and pinch various body parts, just getting the toy out so that it can sit safely under the tree.

And it's not one kids' toys. My wife bought me a wrench set, and it took half an hour to get it out and remove the plastic structure holding the tools in the case.

I see a pattern...

 

[beautress]

On Christmas eve night, I went with a friend to his family's evening together with about 20 kids hanging around, having fun.

They played this game--the first was for kids ages roughly 2 years old - about 6 or 7 years, and the second, around 6-15 years.

They were given a lumpy-looking "package" about the size of a partially-deflated football, which showed mainly the appearance of a ball of saran wrap. Each of the dozen younger ones got 15 seconds to work on unwrappying the package in the anticipation that they would find a treat inside. It went around the entire circle, with the small ones trying to delicately do unwrapping, and the older ones clawing ambitiously to open the wrapping to find a treat. After the first trip around, nothing happened, but the first kid who worked on the pack. could see the first treat, so he furiously worked on that area until the now-familiar phrase was chanted by one of the monitors, "four-three-two-one, PASS!" So the package was handed over to the next child, who tugged at the outside when something dropped out, and she went for it on the floor. It was a piece of gum or candy. Then again, the package was passed to the next (victim) child, and while he was digging at the outside, a blue plastic whistle was dropped, which he went for and put it to the mouth where a soft whistle sound was made, and he kept on blowing on it. Whoever put it there, made certain it didn't make an unpleasant, but a soft little noise, and the next child popped an area of the now smaller package, when 2 or 3 wrapped candies were dropped out, and the package then produced anywhere from 1 to 3 edible treats or small toys. The package made about 10 rounds about the circle of children, and everyone was eating something, squealing joyfully, or grabbing at a lost item on the floor after their turn.

Maybe the adults were training their children to open difficult packages for when it was their turn to be the grownups, and their experience would make a troublesome task have a little more fun memories attached to it.

I about laughed my butt off, and didn't think about it again until I opened this thread. Oh, the older kids had a ball, too, except their treats were more prolific, and the last one got a huge bunch of goodies wrapped together in the middle. They also spent a quarter of an hour passing the package around, except they likely had to fight more invisible tape than the younger group did. There wasn't a frown in the group. What a great bunch of mommies to spend a day wrapping minor stocking stuffers into a huge lump of saran wrap and scotch tape. lol

Great training lesson to teach patience to small kids.

 

[Pogo]

On Christmas eve night, I went with a friend to his family's evening together with about 20 kids hanging around, having fun.

They played this game--the first was for kids ages roughly 2 years old - about 6 or 7 years, and the second, around 6-15 years.

They were given a lumpy-looking "package" about the size of a partially-deflated football, which showed mainly the appearance of a ball of saran wrap. Each of the dozen younger ones got 15 seconds to work on unwrappying the package in the anticipation that they would find a treat inside. It went around the entire circle, with the small ones trying to delicately do unwrapping, and the older ones clawing ambitiously to open the wrapping to find a treat. After the first trip around, nothing happened, but the first kid who worked on the pack. could see the first treat, so he furiously worked on that area until the now-familiar phrase was chanted by one of the monitors, "four-three-two-one, PASS!" So the package was handed over to the next child, who tugged at the outside when something dropped out, and she went for it on the floor. It was a piece of gum or candy. Then again, the package was passed to the next (victim) child, and while he was digging at the outside, a blue plastic whistle was dropped, which he went for and put it to the mouth where a soft whistle sound was made, and he kept on blowing on it. Whoever put it there, made certain it didn't make an unpleasant, but a soft little noise, and the next child popped an area of the now smaller package, when 2 or 3 wrapped candies were dropped out, and the package then produced anywhere from 1 to 3 edible treats or small toys. The package made about 10 rounds about the circle of children, and everyone was eating something, squealing joyfully, or grabbing at a lost item on the floor after their turn.

Maybe the adults were training their children to open difficult packages for when it was their turn to be the grownups, and their experience would make a troublesome task have a little more fun memories attached to it.

I about laughed my butt off, and didn't think about it again until I opened this thread. Oh, the older kids had a ball, too, except their treats were more prolific, and the last one got a huge bunch of goodies wrapped together in the middle. They also spent a quarter of an hour passing the package around, except they likely had to fight more invisible tape than the younger group did. There wasn't a frown in the group. What a great bunch of mommies to spend a day wrapping minor stocking stuffers into a huge lump of saran wrap and scotch tape. lol

Great training lesson to teach patience to small kids.

Beautiful story beautifully told. That's very creative.

On a completely unrelated note my brother and I had a tradition for a while where we would give each other a present that, once finally opened, which took some time under all the overpackaging, the recipient found some electronic piece of absolute junk (a radio or something) that was clearly so far gone as to have no hope of rehabilitation ever.

I think I remember it because one year he gave me what had once been an old beat-up Montgomery Ward reel-to-reel tape recorder, and the way it was designed the tape went backward. I had never seen that before.