joke

[hjmick]

jesus was out walking when he came across a crowd preparing to stone a prostitute to death.

he stopped them and said, "let whoever is without sin cast the first stone"

the crowd was starting to disperse when suddenly a sharp rock came from the back of the crowd, striking the prostitute in the head and killing her instantly.

the crowd was stunned.

jesus looks to the back of the crowd and says, "you know, mom, sometimes you really piss me off"







i'll be in hell if anybody's looking for me

 

[BelleD]

President Trump is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo, when an assassin steps forward and aims a gun.
A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts, “Mickey Mouse!” This startles the would be assassin and he is captured.
Later, the secret service agent’s supervisor takes him aside and asks, “What in the hell made you shout Mickey Mouse?”
Blushing, the agent replies, “I got nervous. I meant to shout Donald.... duck!”