Joke

Discussion in 'Humor' started by PredFan, Dec 31, 2012.

  1. PredFan
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    PredFan Gold Member

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    A Communist, a Muslim, and an Illegal Alien walk into a bar.

    The bartender says: "Welcome Mr.President!"
     
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  2. PredFan
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    PredFan Gold Member

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    So I was dating this woman and she said she wanted this date to be Magical.

    So I fucked her and disappeared.
     
  3. Missourian
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    Missourian Gold Member

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    What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?


    He gets taller.
     
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  4. I_LEK
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    I_LEK Member

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    not very funny ..
     
  5. LadyGunSlinger
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    LadyGunSlinger Conservative Babe Supporting Member

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    LMAO You're bad!
     
  6. techieny
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    techieny Conservative Supporting Member

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    very funny thanks!!!!
     
  7. Big Black Dog
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    Big Black Dog Gold Member Supporting Member

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    Older than dirt joke... You're not quite ready for Jay Leno's Show BUT it is still funny.:lol:
     
  8. Missourian
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    Missourian Gold Member

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    This guy went to the doctor and said to him "Doctor....I don't know what's wrong with me, but every time I fart, it sounds like the word HONDA".

    "That's interesting, never heard of anything like that before. Do you think you could fart for me?" says the doctor.

    The guy says "Sure." And sure enough, the doctor hears "HONDA".

    After several attempts to figure out what's wrong with this guy, the doctor runs out of ideas. He sends him to all sorts of stomach specialists and none of them can figure out why this guys farts say "HONDA." It is a completely out of this world medical condition.

    Finally, as a last resort, the doctors think they should send the man to a dentist. After explaining the problem to the dentist, the dentist opened up the guys mouth and examining it.

    The dentist says "A-haa!!!!....I have solved the problem."

    The patient says "What is it? What is it. Please tell me doc".....

    The dentist replies "Well, sir, you have an abscess tooth."

    The guy says "Yeah....so....What has that got to do with my farts?"

    The dentist replies, "Cant you see??...
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    .. Abscess Makes The Fart Go HONDA"
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2013
  9. Missourian
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    Missourian Gold Member

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    A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?”
    The barber looks around the shop and says, “About 2 hours.”
    The guy leaves.
    A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, ” How long before I can get a haircut?”
    The barber looks around at the shop full of customers and says, “About 3 hours.”
    The guy leaves.
    A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?”
    The barber looks around the shop and says, “About an hour and a half.”
    The guy leaves.
    The barber who is intrigued by this time, looks over at a friend in the shop and says, “Hey, Bill. Follow that guy and see where he goes.”
    A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically.
    The barber asks, “Bill, where did he go when he left here?”
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    Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, “Your house.”
     

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