John Kerry CV for President of the United States

Discussion in 'Politics' started by ajwps, Jul 2, 2004.

  1. ajwps

    ajwps Active Member

    Nov 7, 2003
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    Houston, TX

    (Please forward this message to all voters. Visit
    for the full story on John Forbes Kerry.
    You may also view John Kerry's Resume in HTML format at .)



    President of the United States, Renter of the Lincoln bedroom,
    Intern Supervisor, Commander and Chief and Defender of the Working Man, I mean Person


    Educated at Swiss Boarding Schools -- because my parents did not love me that much

    Attended elite private schools like Fessenden School in West
    Newton, Massachusetts and St. Paul's in New Hampshire -- just
    like your kids

    Graduated Yale University, 1966 (I am much smarter than that Bush guy -- oh, wait, he also went to Yale.)

    Graduated Boston College Law School in 1976 (I am much smarter
    than that Bush guy -- oh, wait, he got an MBA from Harvard.)


    Served as an officer on a swiftboat in the Mekong Delta in
    VIETNAM for three long months -- tried my best to come home a
    hero like JFK after his service on PT-109. I was in VIETNAM --
    VIETNAM was a place where I was for a while. Did I mention that
    VIETNAM veterans love me?

    I collected three Purple Hearts in my three months (had to get
    three in order to come home and run for Congress as a hero like
    JFK) and the last one for that scratch on my finger -- it REALLY
    did hurt! It was important to have the right connections so I
    could get home and run for Congress on my hero status like JFK --
    he was not in VIETNAM, but I was.

    Brought my own motion camera to make sure images of me in VIETNAM becoming a hero made it back home to the states. Got a free trip home after three months on my swiftboat where I suffered severe injuries and collected three Purple Hearts (did I mention that), a Bronze and Silver Star for heroism -- ensuring my destiny as a hero and man of the people like JFK.

    Got home and found out they were not bestowing hero status on
    war heroes like me, so I threw my medals, or was it my ribbons,
    over the White House fence. Maybe it was someone else's medals.

    Co-founder of the VIETNAM Veterans of America and spokesperson for the VIETNAM Veterans Against the War and worked closely with Jane Fonda to make sure everyone knew that all the guys in VIETNAM were war criminals -- I was too, and even testified before the Senate about my own war crimes.

    "Represented" my cadre of anti-American misfits in a Paris meeting to discuss how we could better provide "aid and comfort" for the North Vietnamese and to discuss the unconditional surrender of the U.S. In doing so, I knowingly, directly violated UCMJ Article 104 part 904, and U.S. Code 18 U.S.C. 953.

    Did I mention that this meeting, and my other anti-American
    activities, also put me in violation of the Constitution's Article
    three, Section three, which defines treason as "giving aid and
    comfort" to the enemy in time of warfare.

    Consequently, I stand subject to the Constitution's Fourteenth
    Amendment, Section 3, which states, "No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President...having previously taken an support
    the Constitution of the United States, [who has] engaged in
    insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or
    comfort to the enemies thereof."

    But I don't have to resign -- I am understudy to Teddy Kennedy,
    now the patriarch of JFK's family.

    I topped off my coddling of Commies by authoring a book called The New Soldier -- but since military heroes are back in vogue, I now sue anyone who reproduces the cover of that book on any website, especially a website like (The cover picture is a mockery of the Iwo Jima flag raising -- you can see it at until my lawyers get them to take it down.)


    Volunteered as a campaign worker for my mentor, Teddy Kennedy
    in 1962. I just love that big lug!

    My first campaign for Congress was in 1972 -- I was a war
    hero like JFK but nobody noticed so I ran on my anti-American
    platform. I won the primary with a little help from my campaign
    manager (brother Cameron) who broke into my opponents campaign headquarters. Unfortunately, because of that Watergate thing, I lost the general election to a Republican even after spending more than any other Congressional campaign in the nation.

    In 1982, with the help of Uncle Teddy, I got elected as lieutenant
    governor for governor Michael Dukakis -- then got elected to the
    Senate in 1984 -- it has been smooth sailing ever since.

    I have dedicated the last 20 years, between wives and vacation
    homes, promoting big government spending (except in defense and intelligence, which I vote against every chance I get), class
    warfare, the welfare state and general wealth redistribution, any
    kind of abortion on demand (without parental consent for minors),
    and obstructionist tactics in the judicial nominee process.

    According to Americans for Democratic [sic] Action, a far-left
    watchdog group, I have a higher lifetime liberal voting record
    at 93% than Ted Kennedy with 88%

    I am the ranking Democrat member of the Committee on Small Business and Entrepreneurship. My current millionaire wife is heiress of the Heinz Ketchup fortune -- a "small" business

    Ranking member of the Hispanic Task Force, even though I "borked" by Miguel Estrada

    Chaired the Senate Democratic Leadership Steering and Coordination

    In 1987, teemed up with Teddy to get an override of presidential
    veto of Boston's Big Dig Boondoggle -- one of the most larded
    distributions of taxpayer largess in U.S. history.

    In 1991 the Senate created the Select Senate Committee on POW/MIA Affairs to investigate the possibility that U.S. prisoners of war and soldiers designated missing in action were still alive
    in Vietnam. Acting as chairman, I helped persuade the group to
    vote unanimously that no American servicemen still remained in
    Vietnam. In doing so, I helped begin the process of normalizing
    U.S.-Vietnamese relations.

    Wealthiest senator ("man of the people"), with an estimated net
    worth of nearly $200 million (that's $800 million if you combine
    it with my current wife's assets)



    Voted to federally fund abortions

    Voted against parental consent for minors

    Voted against ban on Partial Birth Abortion (3 times)

    Voted against ban on sending money to UN population fund --
    the money was sent to pay for China's forced abortion and
    sterilization policy

    Have been warned by Catholic clergy that I will not be served
    communion due to my stance on this issue

    NARAL lifetime rating of 100%; National Right to Life
    Committee lifetime rating of 0%


    Oppose federal and/or state death penalty (except for innocent
    unborn children -- see above)

    Voted against death penalty for terrorists

    Voted against death penalty for drug-related murders


    I like high taxes and want to raise them

    Voted against all three Bush tax cuts & want to repeal them

    Voted for 1993 Clinton tax hike (largest in history)

    Voted against major tax relief packages at least 10 times

    Support re-raising taxes on the wealthy to redistribute money
    for healthcare and education -- i.e., Socialism

    Claim I can stop outsourcing and create 10 million new jobs in
    four years, despite the fact that there are only about 8
    million unemployed people in the U.S.

    Want to raise the minimum wage, which will result in
    outsourcing and the loss of jobs Voted at least 5 times
    against balanced budget amendments

    Voted at least 5 times to raid the Social Security Trust Fund

    Believe Washington manages your money better than you could

    Lifetime rating of 26% from Citizens Against Government Waste


    We don't need a military, per se

    Favor UN control of remaining U.S. Troops

    Voted for 7 major reductions in military funding

    Voted against Gulf War I (1991)

    Voted for Gulf War II -- but then criticized and voted against
    military appropriation for troops

    Voted against MX missile, Trident Submarine, SDI (Strategic
    Defense Initiative -- Star Wars), and the B-1 and B-2 Stealth

    Supported slashing $2.6 billion from intelligence funding
    while serving as a member of Senate Intelligence Committee



    Have earned a lifetime rating of 0% from the National Rifle


    Against/Don't have any

    Voted Against Defense of Marriage Act

    Favor civil unions for homosexuals until marriage is popular
    enough to support

    Voted to extend hate crimes protections to homosexuals

    Voted against voluntary school prayer

    Voted against ban on human cloning and support embryonic
    stem-cell research


    Voted against voucher pilot program

    Voted against approving a school-choice pilot program

    Support racial profiling and preference for admission to
    universities, known as "affirmative action"


    Against racial profiling and preference when dealing with

    Voted against confirmation William Rehnquist as Chief Justice
    of the Supreme Court

    Voted against confirmation of Robert Bork and Clarence Thomas
    to the Supreme Court

    Only support activist judges who will support abortion,
    persecute Christians and rewrite the Constitution

    Voted against confirmation John Ashcroft as U.S. Attorney

    Voted against punitive damage limits in products liability

    As Michael Dukakis' Lt. Governor from 1983-1985, supported
    granting prison furloughs to hundreds of Massachusetts inmates


    Against linking Most Favored Nation status to China's human
    rights record

    Voted for Kyoto Protocol on Environment that exempted major
    Third World polluters, while creating an unfair burden on
    American taxpayers

    Supported Iraq regime change as late as January 2003, but not anymore

    Support unilateral nuclear freeze

    Support submitting completely to the UN, as well as the
    International Criminal Court, taking all sovereignty away
    from the U.S. and its citizens

    Don't know what the Geneva Conventions say, mean or who
    they apply to


    Five multi-million dollar mansions

    A large multi-million dollar yacht

    Many "American" cars, including several gas-guzzling SUVs, which
    I am opposed to politically

    Personal 757 campaign jet

    Access to unlimited condiments -- did I mention my current
    millionaire wife is heiress to the Heinz fortune

    Have dual citizenship in France


    General Vo Nguyen Giap -- most celebrated military hero of NORTH
    VIETNAM, where I served

    "Hanoi Jane" Fonda

    Teddy Kennedy

    John F. Kennedy -- we have the same initials

    Howard Dean -- (Albert Gore by proxy)

    Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings

    "Foreign Leaders" who I am unable to name at this time

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  2. musicman

    musicman Senior Member

    Mar 3, 2004
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    Pretty much sums up this prick.
  3. nycflasher

    nycflasher Active Member

    Apr 15, 2004
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    Well, that is a bunch of garbage.
    But if you like that sort of thing:

    George W. Bush Resume

    Past work experience:

    Ran for congress and lost.
    Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
    Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas, company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
    Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using tax-payer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.
    With fathers help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.


    Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union. Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money. Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history.
    Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my fathers appointments to the Supreme Court.

    Accomplishments as president:

    Attacked and took over two countries.
    Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
    Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
    Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.
    Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
    First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
    First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
    First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.
    After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in US history.
    Set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips than any other president in US history.
    In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
    Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history.
    Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.
    Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.
    Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
    Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in US history.
    Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
    Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
    Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
    Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. (
    Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
    My presidency is the most secretive and un-accountable of any in US history.
    Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (the 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice has an Chevron oil tanker named after her).
    First president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
    Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
    First president in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
    Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
    Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history.
    First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.
    First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.
    Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
    Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
    Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
    Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
    First president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
    All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
    My biggest life-time campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
    Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.
    First president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
    First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
    First US president to establish a secret shadow government.
    Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
    With a policy of 'dis-engagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
    First US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
    First US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
    Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
    Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
    Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
    Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.
    In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
    Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.
    In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.
    Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

    Records and References:

    At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).
    AWOL from National Guard and Deserted the military during a time of war.
    Refused to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
    All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
    All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
    All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
    Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public review.
    For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)
  4. ajwps

    ajwps Active Member

    Nov 7, 2003
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    Houston, TX
    Well, that is a bunch of garbage. But if you like that sort of thing:

    I like this one the best of all your claims.

    .....Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

    If your conjured GW Bush Resume were only true, it would be good for America but alas none of what you posted has any validity.

    Has anybody noticed that when the price of oil, gasoline and electricity goes up in the USA, you democrats blame GW Bush and the Dick Cheney connection to the Saudi family.

    But now with the price of gasoline and power going down in the USA, well democrats just claim, 'Oh that is just market forces at work.'

    If mainstream media portrays BAD things like American soldiers dying (less than 1000 since the Iraq war started or high unemployment, high energy and gas prices inflation, deflation, corruption or simply persecuting that cuddly Saddam, then the democratic party polls go up. But when the US population finds themselves back at work, employment down, stock market up, gas cheaper or good things, then THIS IS A BAD SIGN FOR THE DEMOCRATS.


    Bad things for America = good for Democrats

    Good things for America = bad for Democrats

    Isn't that peculiar.
  5. nycflasher

    nycflasher Active Member

    Apr 15, 2004
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    lol, I didn't write that thing

    So, you stand by each claim in that hogwash of a resume you posted?

    I like how it uses the fact that he went to Yale and was friends with JFK against him.:rolleyes:
  6. musicman

    musicman Senior Member

    Mar 3, 2004
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    You say, "executed federal prisoners "and, "alienated the United Nations" like they're bad things!
  7. ajwps

    ajwps Active Member

    Nov 7, 2003
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    Houston, TX

    Can you read the English language.

    1) They both went to Yale. Kerry tries to claim that Bush is uneducated and an ignorant man. That has nothing to do with the fact that Kerry went to Yale.

    2) Kerry didn't claim that he was friends with JFK but only wants to use his short Vietnam service paperclip injury record as a hero with which to compare JFK's record as a legitimate hero who actually injured himself saving shipmates on his burning PT boat. Anybody can see through these ruses.

    Believe what you will from the Democratic playbook of fiction, but the American people will be the judge of whose Resume is more valid.
  8. tim_duncan2000

    tim_duncan2000 Active Member

    Jan 11, 2004
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    1) Proof?

    2) Unless the US attacks them and destroys a lot of their country and kills a lot of people like NK did in the 1950s, I don't see how the US could be more threatening than NK.

    They would have gone right back to their old ways after 9/11 no matter what Bush did.

    Also, many people said that the US got what was coming to them.

    More than FDR did when he sent Japanese people to internment camps? There have also been many more examples, but that's the first one that comes to mind.


    Yeah, they would rather have Saddam still in power so they could benefit from the oil-for-fraud (I mean food) program and other illegal deals. He's also hardly the first one, but don't let facts get in the way of your argument.

    Who cares? What about how countries like Sudan and Libya have been on the human rights commission:

    That tells me more about how much the UN sucks and less about how the US does.

    That's all I feel like doing right now.

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