Jared vs. Marilyn: DebitUSA

Abishai100

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Sep 22, 2013
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The two American celebrities Jared Leto and Marilyn Monroe generally remind us of all the candy and child-like thrills of Tinseltown (Hollywood), even though the two *technically* never became movie acting icons (like Clark Gable or Meryl Streep).

Leto's work in unconventional films such as Fight Club, American Psycho, and Dallas Buyers Club brought him recognition and stood him out as an attractive yet capable modern film face/actor, while Monroe's shimmering and charming work in theatrical films such as The Seven Year Itch and Some Like It Hot stamped her as a 'Tinseltown Titan.'

So why am I comparing these two otherwise unconnected and dissimilar movie actors? Well, this 'celebrity-coupling' simply reminds us that the psychological appeal of 'photogenic postage stamps' reveal the Disney-D of American culture (and perhaps global consumerism culture).

So is that a good thing or a bad thing? What would the American President (Donald Trump), a venture-capitalist and media-spotlight bear, say? This is the sort of question that keeps me up at night these days, and it's why I enjoy culture-magnification American TV shows such as 2 Broke Girls, Modern Family, and The Haunted Hathaways.

Just call me 'Mr. TrumpUSA Patriot.' Oh, wait a minute...President Trump is an eternal optimist, right?



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LETO: Working in Hollywood is tough.
MONROE: You contacted my ghost with your Ouija board!
LETO: I was bored and frustrated; I'm trying to land an important role (a Citizen Kane remake).
MONROE: Wow, I never thought they'd remake THAT!
LETO: Believe it. They're remaking everything now, even modern films.
MONROE: I've noticed celebrities drinking Starbucks coffee...
LETO: Oh, so you're haunting those cement sidewalks of consumerism Los Angeles, eh?
MONROE: What's a 'celebrity-ghost' to do?
LETO: Don't worry Pretty Casper, if I land this role, I'll ask the director to pen me a line in your honor.
MONROE: Say something like, "Marilyn was a real stone."
LETO: Everyone already thinks that; the trick is to inspire people in this new age of capitalism-gluttony.
MONROE: What do you mean, Mr. Leto?
LETO: Don't you know? Sunset Boulevard has been replaced with explicit films like Celebrity.
MONROE: You should write an article/book: The Evolution of Tinseltown!
LETO: It's all dollars now, and he who is shrewd is not Shylock or Fagin but actually...Einstein!
MONROE: Indeed.
LETO: Maybe I will indeed write that article/book, and maybe Simon and Schuster will pick me up...
MONROE: I always wanted to study at Yale University.
LETO: Big dreams for a 'celebrity-ghost,' Ms. Monroe.
MONROE: Never doubt the potential of capitalism (i.e., Wall Street).

====


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The Terrorist


Here's a mock dialogue about 'consumerism rhetorics' between Snake-Eyes (a patriotic government assassin) and Cobra Commander (a Machiavellian leader of a fictional terrorist group).


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SNAKE-EYES: Do you like James Bond films?
COBRA COMMANDER: I like Casino Royale.
SNAKE-EYES: Are you a gambling man?
COBRA COMMANDER: I like Bugsy.
SNAKE-EYES: Do you like Bonnie and Clyde?
COBRA COMMANDER: Of course! Who doesn't get excited about anti-federalist bank robbery?
SNAKE-EYES: You're not a fan of Hamiltonian Federalism or the American banking system?
COBRA COMMANDER: No one is...
SNAKE-EYES: That's not true. President Trump is a fan.
COBRA COMMANDER: That's because he was the owner of a casino in Atlantic City...
SNAKE-EYES: That's very cynical. You even sound like a terrorist.
COBRA COMMANDER: Terrorism is simply a 'tool' to repair the damaged capitalist soul.
SNAKE-EYES: You believe that?
COBRA COMMANDER: I know it.
SNAKE-EYES: Well, I see nothing wrong with Starbucks and Planet Hollywood.
COBRA COMMANDER: Why are there rumors then that Marilyn Monroe was killed by the U.S. government?
SNAKE-EYES: Those are just pedestrian 'conspiracy theories.' What's important is that consumerism should flower.
COBRA COMMANDER: Hey, I like Tinseltown and Burger King, but the cholesterol reminds me of 9/11.
SNAKE-EYES: There's nothing wrong with business schools (e.g., Wharton, Sloan, Fuqua, etc.).
COBRA COMMANDER: You 'patriots' need to separate 'business' from the Mummers Parade.
SNAKE-EYES: We Americans are fond of 'fortune daydreams.'
COBRA COMMANDER: Then you should just read An American Tragedy.

====


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