I've been tricking you guys into thinking I'm a Reublican!

[SPIKESMYGOD]

I know I told you guys when I joined that I used to be a liberal but had changed to being a Republican in 1992, but I LIED! I never changed. I can't believe you guys actually bought it.

So, I am now going to tell the truth and give good reasons why Bush must be defeated:

_________________________________________

First off, George W. Bush is a baby eater! Don't ya get it? HE EATS BABIES!

Then, the list just keeps going.......

He stole the Florida election by paying off the Supreme Court.

Bush took us to war with Iraq for oil, man! There is mounting evidence that Bush planned to go into Iraq as far back as 1976. According to my source in the Kerry campaign[Janeane Garofalo] it has been proven that over 15 million innocent Iraqis have been targeted & murdered by our psychotic, kill-happy, baby-killing troops. Ummmmm, but we liberals support our troops. I mean, they only killed the babies. At least they didn't EAT them....LIKE BUSH DOES!

By Bush taking us into an illegal war, alone- Great Britain, Italy, Spain, Poland, and others don't count since they got bribed to cooperate- we have lost our good standing with our former strong, morally-pure allies like France, Germany, Russia, and the United Nations.

I mean, I admit Saddam was not a great guy- unlike Castro- but all we did was hurt more Iraqis by going into Iraq, killing 8 million innocent Iraqis.

Bush took us into Iraq before even going into Afghanistan to get the Taliban. If we had not attacked Iraq, I know some of my liberal friends doubt 9/11 would have ever happened. If we tried harder to understand why we have neglected the needs & hurt the feelings of bin Laden & Al Qaeda, I doubt that they would hate us so much- all we're going to do is make them angrier! Actually, I tell my fellow liberals that I know the real deal: Bush knew about 9/11 months ahead of time.

There is mounting evidence that Bush helped finance & plan 9/11 with bin Laden. In fact, I heard from one of my friends at MoveOn.org that Bush & bin Laden jointly own several Taco Bells in the NYC area. Don't you Republican Nazis find it strange that, with all the destruction in Manhattan, not one single Taco Bell was damaged on 9/11? Want more proof? Bush wasn't in the White House. Want more? I have actually seen a photo of bin Laden & Bush hangin' out at a Wu-tang Clan concert. Yeah, how you like me now? Also, Bush is a baby eater!

(Takes a hit from his Ben & Jerry's-stickered bong)

Yeah, man, like, ugh, I was saying. I saw a clip today of Bush drinking a glass of ice water. This just proves what a bastard he is. Doesn't he know that some poor people- like Al Qaeda freedom fighters- don't have ice machines? This just proves how out-of-touch he is. I bet he felt so superior to everyone when he was chompin' on that ice, not to mention baby parts.

Yeah, I like, man, how he praised that Passion of the Mel movie. He just wants to shove his god down our throats at every chance. Also, we know who killed Jesus: BUSH! Plus, he feels like it is cool to start a new Crusade against ALL muslims. I guess killing 20 million innocent Iraqis & freedom fighters isn't enough for this monster. Why does he feel he has the right to force democracy, freedom, & justice onto other people? Man, he is SOOOO dangerous.

(Takes ANOTHER toke off the bong)

Man.......Man......Ummmmmm. yeah I feel that Bush is someone who really hates and stuff and is like some cowboy who likes to kill not caring about anyone to help because he is mean and he isout to kill civilliberties andmake all of us slaves to hes warr macheene and kill lots of peple so he can eat there babies no matr wat we want from him.....and stuff.

Dudes, I need to go eat my pizza. BRB

Ok, I'm back.

Ya know what? Ani DiFranco & Paula Cole are so hot. I would love to get up in that action and just lick their sweaty, clumpy, chili-smelling hairy pits. Then I would.......Oh, wait! That isn't very p.c. & I want to be a guy in touch with the woman in him. As roundly-praised feminist Catharine MacKinnon said, ALL SEX IS RAPE. What I meant was that I would love for them & their hairy, stinky bodies to strap on dildos & violate me up my booty. Only this way will I- being an evil male- be able to empathize with the rape, abuse, & torture we men have heaped upon all women.
Damn, I guess that threesome with Hillary & Janet Reno is out the window.

Anyhow, Bush lied about WMD's. Yeah, I know you guys will say, "What about the weapons we KNEW he had but couldn't/wouldn't show any evidence concerning how he destroyed them, when he destroyed them, or where he destroyed them." Also, you Nazis will bring up the fact that the entire world intelligence community was convinced that he had them. Well, get ready to lose this debate because I am about to win it. Ready?.......
There is mounting evidence that Bush distracted us with fake WMD's so nobody would notice him eating all of those babies. Now, if he had just killed & eaten the babies while they were still fetuses-even at 9 months- I would be very cool with his "choice." But he ate them when they had a chance to vote several times for us Dems in Chicago.

(Takes a really big bong hit)

Man the ekonimy iss doin real bad for bush. great for us. We liberalz took a hit in march because of all thoze dam jobs being...being....invented but at least iraq is going real good for us liberals. If Bush's econommy will just lose a million jobs the next few months and 500 soldiers get killed we will be jumpin for joy and bush will loze in december....ummm....octo.....later this yeer.

Its not that we hate america.,,',its just that we hatee the milatary, the flag, capitolizm, religon, morals, freedom,,justise, and the killing of innocent freedom fighterz. Bush and ashcroft are trying to make us a police stat. There is mounting evidence that Bush & Ashcroft are having camps built for anyone who doesn't work for Halliburton. Dudes! there is a black helicopter above my nature tent. Gotta go! Remember........

Bush is a racist warmonger who eats babies!!

Bush & Rumsfeld are war criminals!

Rice & Powell are sell-out house slaves!

Give peace a chance!

Make love, not war!

America sucks!

Who spilled the bong water!

No blood for oil!

A vote for Bush is a vote for baby eating & killing freedom fighters!


VOTE KERRY!

 

[rtwngAvngr]

Highlarious!

 

[5stringJeff]

Spillmind, is that you???

 

[DKSuddeth]

maybe about 20 lbs lighter after he's lost his ass in another thread

 

[lilcountriegal]

:rotflmao:

Excellent

 

[musicman]

Originally posted by SPIKESMYGOD
If Bush's econommy will just lose a million jobs the next few months and 500 soldiers get killed we will be jumpin for joy and bush will loze in december....ummm....octo.....later this yeer.

Studies show that if the election were held tomorrow, forty-three percent of Americans would be surprised.

 

[Joz]

Originally posted by SPIKESMYGOD
I've been tricking you guys into thinking I'm a Republican

No,, you haven't.

 

[musicman]

Typical bigoted conservative thinking. Every truly informed person knows that the desire to eat babies is determined genetically.

 

[jon_forward]

Thats better then david letterman!!!

 

[MtnBiker]

Every time I read "eats babies", I got a James Carville voice in my head.


Very good Spikes!

 

[Hobbit]

Next, on ECONOMICS...OF THE FUTURE!!!, learn how George W. Bush was responsible for the loss of over 86 trillion jobs...INCLUDING YOURS!!!

 

[janeeng]

You mean it took this long for you to come off your high and realize that your still just a pansy ass! what the hell is this thread supposed to do, have us just read and LAUGH at you!!! It proved NOTHING!

 

[SPIKESMYGOD]

Janeeng-

Hey! Why are you attacking ME? I'm a "Democratte," not a "Reublican!" You guys are so MEAN! If you don't want me back, I'll head back to Newtland!

LMAO

Ok, "da jig be up!"

Seriously, your post brings a few things things to mind.

1) Liberals, as I have often said, are bitter, hate-filled, and incapable of ANY humor.

2) What made my post so scathingly hilarious is that it was, in the words of Morrissey," Too close to home and too near the bone."

3) If a liberal were to attempt to reverse it, saying how racist, homophobic, and loving of war we Republicans are, it wouldn't have been NEARLY as funny. See, for humor to be funny it must be MOSTLY based in fact & truth. Kinda like when Al Frankenstein & other pinkos joke about Rush being racist, it just isn't funny, for it is totally opposite of reality. Now, I will laugh at jokes about Republicans as long as the comedian doesn't take cheap, lying shots and he/she dishes it out to liberals, as well.

However, the MAIN reason that my post worked is because it is not too far at all from "real" posts by liberals. I mean, we ALL remember how insane some of the Deaniacs were, and the fact that my post was so close, however absurd, just proves my first two points that much more powerfully.

I hope your hate keeps you liberals warm because that is ALL you are going to have on November 2nd!

 

[janeeng]

Originally posted by SPIKESMYGOD
Janeeng-

Hey! Why are you attacking ME? I'm a "Democratte," not a "Reublican!" You guys are so MEAN! If you don't want me back, I'll head back to Newtland!

LMAO

Ok, "da jig be up!"

Seriously, your post brings a few things things to mind.

1) Liberals, as I have often said, are bitter, hate-filled, and incapable of ANY humor.

2) What made my post so scathingly hilarious is that it was, in the words of Morrissey," Too close to home and too near the bone."

3) If a liberal were to attempt to reverse it, saying how racist, homophobic, and loving of war we Republicans are, it wouldn't have been NEARLY as funny. See, for humor to be funny it must be MOSTLY based in fact & truth. Kinda like when Al Frankenstein & other pinkos joke about Rush being racist, it just isn't funny, for it is totally opposite of reality. Now, I will laugh at jokes about Republicans as long as the comedian doesn't take cheap, lying shots and he/she dishes it out to liberals, as well.

However, the MAIN reason that my post worked is because it is not too far at all from "real" posts by liberals. I mean, we ALL remember how insane some of the Deaniacs were, and the fact that my post was so close, however absurd, just proves my first two points that much more powerfully.

I hope your hate keeps you liberals warm because that is ALL you are going to have on November 2nd!

One, I am not a Liberal - Two, go back to smoking the crack or whatever else it is your smoking!!!!!! :

 

[SPIKESMYGOD]

EXACTLY!!!!!!!

Hence, my point about poor lil' sour & dour liberals.

 

[Merlin1047]

You are a rotten, inconsiderate bastard. I mean - did you HAVE to paint that picture of a threesome with Hillary and Janet R????

Man, I just had lunch.

Now how the hell am I going to get THAT picture out of my head?

I'm getting a lawyer.

 

[deciophobic]

wait...that was supposed to be funny?

 

[jimnyc]

Originally posted by deciophobic
wait...that was supposed to be funny?

Yes................. if you have a brain.

 

[Annie]

I saw this and thought it worth sharing:

Manila Folder
From the April 12 / April 19, 2004 issue: John Kerry's 1986 wimp-out in the Philippines.
by P.J. O'Rourke
04/12/2004, Volume 009, Issue 30





I'VE HAD A NONPARTISAN grudge against John Kerry for 18 years. This seems an appropriate time to air it.

In February 1986, Philippine president Ferdinand Marcos--unpleasant, unwell, and unloved--held a "snap election." This was a somewhat baffling attempt to bolster his authority by running against Corazon Aquino, widow of the opposition leader assassinated by Marcos henchmen. The American diplomatic response was baffled. Marcos was a friend of America, and U.S. military bases in the Philippines were vital to Cold War strategy. But the Philippines was being rent by popular political upheaval, Communist insurgency, Muslim unrest, and economic collapse; and a stable government was needed. But a stable government run by Marcos opponents would be angry about the support Marcos had received from his most powerful, not to say only, friend.

Not knowing what the heck to do in the Philippines, the Reagan administration sent an official election observer delegation headed by Senator Richard Lugar to do what-the-heck. Lugar said his delegation's purpose was "to demonstrate the importance to the United States of free and fair elections in the Philippines." Marcos had ruled the country, by means electoral and otherwise, since 1965. There was little likelihood that the snap election would be free and fair. Not that the U.S. delegation meant to find out. Lugar said, "Our delegation is going to the Philippines to watch and observe and not to pass judgment on the elections." Among the members of this watchful, observant, and non-judgment-passing delegation was the first-term senator from Massachusetts, John Kerry.

I was in the Philippines working on an article for Rolling Stone. The elections proceeded predictably with, as I wrote at the time, "voter-registration records being destroyed, ballot boxes stolen, opposition poll watchers barred from their stations, and army trucks full of 'flying voters' moved from one spot to another." And worse. I went to a farm village, or "barangay," about 80 miles north of Manila to interview the family of Arsenio Cainglet, barangay captain for the Cory Aquino coalition. Cainglet had been shot dead while holding his favorite fighting cock on his lap. With Cainglet's 18-year-old daughter translating, I asked the mourners at his funeral if the vote count reflected the political feelings of the village. "There was an audible collective snort. The mourners looked startled. Some of them laughed. Then they were silent."

The U.S. election observer delegation proceeded predictably, also. After a couple of hours of poll-watching on election morning, Senator Lugar told Manila's government-controlled Channel 4, "The only problems I saw were minor and technical." Channel 4 played this tape clip the rest of the day. By the next morning, Lugar was indignantly telling Tom Brokaw, "It's a very, very suspicious count." But that was not shown on Philippine TV. The members of the U.S. delegation used the words "passionate commitment of the Philippine people to democracy" so often that, shortened to "Pash Commit of Flips to Dem," it became a catch phrase among reporters.

"Anything going on in Quezon City?"

"Pash Commit of Flips to Dem."

The only plain-spoken delegate I encountered was representative John Murtha, a Pennsylvania Democrat who, I'm pleased to note, is still in Congress. He was watching a remarkable number of Marcos votes being counted in the pro-Aquino Manila suburb of Pasay. Murtha, I wrote, "tried to make some statesmanlike noises about 'the passionate commitment of the Philippine people to democracy.'...But outrage overtook him. 'You can see what's going on!' he blurted. 'You can see what the will of the people is!'"

The following is an excerpt from my Rolling Stone article, "Goons, Guns, and Gold."


Most of the Potomac Parakeets were a big disappointment. Massachusetts senator John Kerry was a founding member of the Vietnam Veterans Against the War, but he was a bath toy in this fray.

On Sunday night, two days after the election, thirty of the computer operators from COMELEC [the Philippine government "Commission on Elections," appointed by Marcos and in charge of compiling the final vote tally] walked off the job, protesting that the vote figures were being juggled. Aquino supporters and NAMFREL volunteers took the operators, most of them young women, to a church, and hundreds of people formed a protective barrier around them. [NAMFREL--The National Movement for Free Elections--was supposedly nonpartisan, but NAMFREL members were strongly anti-Marcos.]

Village Voice reporter Joe Conason and I had been tipped off about the walkout, and when we got to the church, we found Bea Zobel, one of Cory Aquino's top aides, in a tizzy. "The women are terrified," she said. "They're scared to go home. They don't know what to do. We don't know what to do." Joe and I suggested that Mrs. Zobel go to the Manila Hotel and bring back some members of the Congressional observer team. She came back with Kerry, who did nothing.

Kerry later said that he didn't talk to the COMELEC employees then because he wasn't allowed to. [A bone-head Rolling Stone fact-checker sent the article to Kerry's Senate office for comment. Kerry staffers were wroth and insisted the senator's version of events be included.] This is ridiculous. He was ushered into an area that had been cordoned off from the press and the crowd and where the computer operators were sitting. To talk to the women, all he would have had to do was raise his voice. Why he was reluctant, I can't tell you. I can tell you what any red-blooded representative of the U.S. Government should have done. He should have shouted, "If you're frightened for your safety, I'll take you to the American embassy, and damn the man who tries to stop me." But all Kerry did was walk around like a male model in a concerned and thoughtful pose.


And there you have probably the only comparison of Kerry to a male model ever made. Not quite trusting my memory--or my reporting, for that matter--I searched out my notes from 1986. I found some scribbles that I'd made on the Sunday night and a journal with a summation of the evening's events written two days later. I was a foreign correspondent at the time, and not much interested in domestic politics. I have Kerry down variously as "Sen. Carey" and "Rep. Kerry."

About nine o'clock on Sunday night, Conason and I were drinking in the bar of the Manila Hotel when a friend of mine from ABC News told us about the COMELEC defections. The workers who quit in protest were very young, in their teens. The 28 girls and 2 boys weren't really computer operators. They were doing data input. They were kids from poor families and very proud that they'd been to data input school. They didn't seem to be politically motivated and were at pains to describe themselves as unpolitical in a touching, if somewhat garbled, statement they read to the press at the NAMFREL-surrounded church. And they certainly were scared. But their professional dignity had been intolerably injured when the voting data that they'd input did not, as it were, outcome.

Joe and I actually sent Bea Zobel to get members of the international election observer delegation, headed by Colombia's Misael Pastrana and John Hume, from Northern Ireland. Before we'd gone to the bar, Joe and I had been at a press conference at the Manila Hotel, listening to Pastrana and Hume denounce vote fraud by Marcos. But when Zobel arrived the only election observer she could find was Kerry, having a late dinner. Zobel was gone for a long time. She said Kerry was "curt" and refused to leave until he'd finished his meal and then only reluctantly returned to the church with her.

From my journal: "Gets there & never talks to Comelec girls. Boy is ball-less. Joe and I finally push forward & tell Kerry it was us (1 Dem. & 1 Rep.) that called for him (we also heard, Comelec girls wanted Observers called). That it was Joe & me seemed to make a big difference to Kerry. Who still did f---all."

What I meant by "seemed to make a big difference" was that Kerry's ears perked right up when he heard his name called by members of the press. His reaction was to turn to us and say, magisterially, "No interviews, boys." We explained that we had no interest in interviewing him and suggested that he provide some reassurance to the frightened conscientious objectors from COMELEC.

Now, with benefit of hindsight, I think I can tell you why Kerry didn't do so. He was caught in Kerry-ish calculation--an ambitious young senator on his first important bipartisan delegation with its delicate mission of neutrality. Cory Aquino was very popular. But so was President Reagan. Which way to have it? Why, have it both ways! So Kerry was firmly behind Pash Commit of Flips to Dem, up to a point. Just as today Kerry is brave sailor/bold war protester; foe of Saddam/friend of Hans Blix; political underdog/entitled nominee; big government liberal/corporate tax-cutting conservative; rider of Harleys/marrier of Heinz; and, incidentally, still a real jerk.


P.J. O'Rourke is a contributing editor to The Weekly Standard and author of the forthcoming Peace Kills: America's Fun New Imperialism (Atlantic Monthly Press).




© Copyright 2004, News Corporation, Weekly Standard, All Rights Reserved.

 

[Wyatt earp]

I know I told you guys when I joined that I used to be a liberal but had changed to being a Republican in 1992, but I LIED! I never changed. I can't believe you guys actually bought it.

So, I am now going to tell the truth and give good reasons why Bush must be defeated:

_________________________________________

First off, George W. Bush is a baby eater! Don't ya get it? HE EATS BABIES!

Then, the list just keeps going.......

He stole the Florida election by paying off the Supreme Court.

Bush took us to war with Iraq for oil, man! There is mounting evidence that Bush planned to go into Iraq as far back as 1976. According to my source in the Kerry campaign[Janeane Garofalo] it has been proven that over 15 million innocent Iraqis have been targeted & murdered by our psychotic, kill-happy, baby-killing troops. Ummmmm, but we liberals support our troops. I mean, they only killed the babies. At least they didn't EAT them....LIKE BUSH DOES!

By Bush taking us into an illegal war, alone- Great Britain, Italy, Spain, Poland, and others don't count since they got bribed to cooperate- we have lost our good standing with our former strong, morally-pure allies like France, Germany, Russia, and the United Nations.

I mean, I admit Saddam was not a great guy- unlike Castro- but all we did was hurt more Iraqis by going into Iraq, killing 8 million innocent Iraqis.

Bush took us into Iraq before even going into Afghanistan to get the Taliban. If we had not attacked Iraq, I know some of my liberal friends doubt 9/11 would have ever happened. If we tried harder to understand why we have neglected the needs & hurt the feelings of bin Laden & Al Qaeda, I doubt that they would hate us so much- all we're going to do is make them angrier! Actually, I tell my fellow liberals that I know the real deal: Bush knew about 9/11 months ahead of time.

There is mounting evidence that Bush helped finance & plan 9/11 with bin Laden. In fact, I heard from one of my friends at MoveOn.org that Bush & bin Laden jointly own several Taco Bells in the NYC area. Don't you Republican Nazis find it strange that, with all the destruction in Manhattan, not one single Taco Bell was damaged on 9/11? Want more proof? Bush wasn't in the White House. Want more? I have actually seen a photo of bin Laden & Bush hangin' out at a Wu-tang Clan concert. Yeah, how you like me now? Also, Bush is a baby eater!

(Takes a hit from his Ben & Jerry's-stickered bong)

Yeah, man, like, ugh, I was saying. I saw a clip today of Bush drinking a glass of ice water. This just proves what a bastard he is. Doesn't he know that some poor people- like Al Qaeda freedom fighters- don't have ice machines? This just proves how out-of-touch he is. I bet he felt so superior to everyone when he was chompin' on that ice, not to mention baby parts.

Yeah, I like, man, how he praised that Passion of the Mel movie. He just wants to shove his god down our throats at every chance. Also, we know who killed Jesus: BUSH! Plus, he feels like it is cool to start a new Crusade against ALL muslims. I guess killing 20 million innocent Iraqis & freedom fighters isn't enough for this monster. Why does he feel he has the right to force democracy, freedom, & justice onto other people? Man, he is SOOOO dangerous.

(Takes ANOTHER toke off the bong)

Man.......Man......Ummmmmm. yeah I feel that Bush is someone who really hates and stuff and is like some cowboy who likes to kill not caring about anyone to help because he is mean and he isout to kill civilliberties andmake all of us slaves to hes warr macheene and kill lots of peple so he can eat there babies no matr wat we want from him.....and stuff.

Dudes, I need to go eat my pizza. BRB

Ok, I'm back.

Ya know what? Ani DiFranco & Paula Cole are so hot. I would love to get up in that action and just lick their sweaty, clumpy, chili-smelling hairy pits. Then I would.......Oh, wait! That isn't very p.c. & I want to be a guy in touch with the woman in him. As roundly-praised feminist Catharine MacKinnon said, ALL SEX IS RAPE. What I meant was that I would love for them & their hairy, stinky bodies to strap on dildos & violate me up my booty. Only this way will I- being an evil male- be able to empathize with the rape, abuse, & torture we men have heaped upon all women.
Damn, I guess that threesome with Hillary & Janet Reno is out the window.

Anyhow, Bush lied about WMD's. Yeah, I know you guys will say, "What about the weapons we KNEW he had but couldn't/wouldn't show any evidence concerning how he destroyed them, when he destroyed them, or where he destroyed them." Also, you Nazis will bring up the fact that the entire world intelligence community was convinced that he had them. Well, get ready to lose this debate because I am about to win it. Ready?.......
There is mounting evidence that Bush distracted us with fake WMD's so nobody would notice him eating all of those babies. Now, if he had just killed & eaten the babies while they were still fetuses-even at 9 months- I would be very cool with his "choice." But he ate them when they had a chance to vote several times for us Dems in Chicago.

(Takes a really big bong hit)

Man the ekonimy iss doin real bad for bush. great for us. We liberalz took a hit in march because of all thoze dam jobs being...being....invented but at least iraq is going real good for us liberals. If Bush's econommy will just lose a million jobs the next few months and 500 soldiers get killed we will be jumpin for joy and bush will loze in december....ummm....octo.....later this yeer.

Its not that we hate america.,,',its just that we hatee the milatary, the flag, capitolizm, religon, morals, freedom,,justise, and the killing of innocent freedom fighterz. Bush and ashcroft are trying to make us a police stat. There is mounting evidence that Bush & Ashcroft are having camps built for anyone who doesn't work for Halliburton. Dudes! there is a black helicopter above my nature tent. Gotta go! Remember........

Bush is a racist warmonger who eats babies!!

Bush & Rumsfeld are war criminals!

Rice & Powell are sell-out house slaves!

Give peace a chance!

Make love, not war!

America sucks!

Who spilled the bong water!

No blood for oil!

A vote for Bush is a vote for baby eating & killing freedom fighters!


VOTE KERRY!

^^^^^



Jake the fake sock



.